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Internet Dating [split topic]

Started by AliasTheCat, March 20, 2019, 08:35:01 PM

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zomgmouse

Honestly it does get a little depressing when you go through hundreds of profiles and there's very little if any reciprocation. But at the end of the day if you go in with 0 expectations it does quell the disappointment somewhat. Obviously I'm not saying to be a completely detached sociopath but I guess understand that there are many many factors beyond your grasp that contribute to this situation. Just keep going, or don't. It is what it is.

Quote from: Schrodingers Cat on September 03, 2019, 02:15:23 PM
Thanks for the replies everyone. I think what I'll do is leave it until, say, Friday then ask if he still fancies meeting up. If answer comes there none, move on. It'll give me time to check through other profiles if nothing else.

That's the spirit, also look online about making your profile as appealing as possible and use www.photofeeler.com to find your best photos (it's harsh as fuck, but does the job)

bgmnts

Quote from: Better Midlands on September 03, 2019, 02:29:27 PM
That's the spirit, also look online about making your profile as appealing as possible and use www.photofeeler.com to find your best photos (it's harsh as fuck, but does the job)

Oh god no don't do that.

I've noticed, after about four or five years on the internet dating scene, that most people are dull as fuck and their profile consists of three or four kinds of catchphrases and idioms and summaries. It's dire.

momatt

Took me about a year of one-off dates and false starts to get a nice girlfriend.
She's moved in now and planning our lives together, it's great!  Got loads in common and she's really cool.

Just don't give up and you'll be fine.  Even weirdos like me can find love.

Don't settle either, I've done that a few times and it's just a waste of energy.

Small Man Big Horse

If they didn't reply I always presumed that the other person had died horrifically in a car crash, which cheered me up no end.

phes

Quote from: bgmnts on September 03, 2019, 02:32:58 PM
Oh god no don't do that.

I've noticed, after about four or five years on the internet dating scene, that most people are dull as fuck and their profile consists of three or four kinds of catchphrases and idioms and summaries. It's dire.

Tinder seemed to hit shitmax about a year or two back when it went from being popular with the youth to basically just being social media where absolutely everyone just signed up because. The most irritating demographic now is surely all the people around my age (41) and older must've been the slowest to catch on and are now stinking up the deck with 'so it's come to this' and 'what happened to our eyes meeting...' (through clouds of second hand fag smoke after 12 Bacardi's and getting married because we were literally the only two single people in Harlow tonight)

I go through phases of not reading profiles because the sex shaming is fairly soul destroying

OkCupid remains the least cunty

Jean-Luc Prickhard

I met my wife on one of these things (I mean, before I got married to her, not a "If You Like Pina Colada" situation) so it happens. I also met a very excellent woman on another forum, many moons ago. She was (and presumably still is) lovely.

So, er, get specific? Are there still dating sites for people with a certain hobby or whatever?

MojoJojo

No. Unless you count being gay as a hobby.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Jean-Luc Prickhard on September 03, 2019, 03:18:10 PM
I met my wife on one of these things (I mean, before I got married to her, not a "If You Like Pina Colada" situation) so it happens. I also met a very excellent woman on another forum, many moons ago. She was (and presumably still is) lovely.

So, er, get specific? Are there still dating sites for people with a certain hobby or whatever?

Are Judaism, Islam and Christianity hobbies?

Quote from: phes on September 03, 2019, 03:15:59 PM
OkCupid remains the least cunty

Strongly disagree. In my small city there's barely anyone on it, and those that are wear their dysfunctions loudly on their sleeves. Lots of identikit profiles that scream 'i have no personality or interests' too.

bgmnts

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on September 03, 2019, 03:36:52 PM
Strongly disagree. In my small city there's barely anyone on it, and those that are wear their dysfunctions loudly on their sleeves. Lots of identikit profiles that scream 'i have no personality or interests' too.

Yeah basically.

You should have been hoovering up with the revamp I gave you!

zomgmouse

Quote from: momatt on September 03, 2019, 02:39:16 PM
Don't settle either, I've done that a few times and it's just a waste of energy.

Yeah, very important advice. It's really easy to sag to desperation after lots of swiping etc but you gotta remember your own standards and boundaries. You know you're wasting your own time and letting yourself down. Settling is dangerous.

bgmnts

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on September 03, 2019, 03:40:44 PM
You should have been hoovering up with the revamp I gave you!

Aye its incredible. It's like Fabio Capello managing Millwall or Shakespeare performed by pornstars.

sevendaughters

I have done the 'indicate interest and talk about meeting only not to' before. It's not nice, obviously. I was talking to someone else at the same time and was hoping they would want to meet (I can't date lots of people at once). But the first person revealed her cards, as it were, and in a decision between a definite date and a potential one, I went with the potential one and realised that meant I couldn't have thought as strongly about the first one as I thought. To be fair to me I went out with the second one for 2 years and her mum still WhatsApps me to say hello.

weekender

Quote from: bgmnts on September 03, 2019, 03:52:33 PM
Aye its incredible. It's like Fabio Capello managing Millwall or Shakespeare performed by pornstars.

We're 21st of 24th pal, and don't you forget it.

Dr Rock

I got my new girlfriend off Bumble. She's great. Don't give up.

sponk

Quote from: bgmnts on September 03, 2019, 08:53:50 AM
Yes, that is 90% of the experience.

Yeah it's called ghosting. You can go online and read about other people's experiences with it, you're definitely not alone, Schrodinger's Cat.

bgmnts

Quote from: sponk on September 03, 2019, 04:30:04 PM
Yeah it's called ghosting. You can go online and read about other people's experiences with it, you're definitely not alone, Schrodinger's Cat.

Uhh yes hence why thats "90% the experience".

Icehaven

I'm sure I'm not the only person who'd actually prefer being ghosted to being directly told 'no thank you' (or 'fuck off', depending on the manners your average dates have.) As others have said, at least then you can just imagine it was nothing to do with you rather than a clear and present rejection. I hate awkwardness too (although who doesn't?) so I'd much rather just never know than have to read some too brief/long/strained/apologetic/obviously untrue reasons.

sponk

Quote from: bgmnts on September 03, 2019, 04:36:56 PM
Uhh yes hence why thats "90% the experience".

Yeah? I wasn't disagreeing with you. I was conforming what you said, with a bit more information.

sponk

The only thing worse than ghosting is "go Sting' imagine if you asked a Tinder match where she wants to go on your first date and she said I want to "go Sting'"

phes

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on September 03, 2019, 03:36:52 PM
Strongly disagree. In my small city there's barely anyone on it, and those that are wear their dysfunctions loudly on their sleeves. Lots of identikit profiles that scream 'i have no personality or interests' too.

Maybe the experience is different from small city to larger city. Have you been on tinder, POF?

Cupid isn't perfect, its gradually reduced functionality and brought itself closer in line with tinder, so it's got worse and worse. But I find it much less hateful and populated by many more people willing to read a profile. Pretty much every internet relationship I've had that was sustained for any length of joy was through OKC

Schrodingers Cat

Quote from: icehaven on September 03, 2019, 04:42:11 PM
I'm sure I'm not the only person who'd actually prefer being ghosted to being directly told 'no thank you' (or 'fuck off', depending on the manners your average dates have.) As others have said, at least then you can just imagine it was nothing to do with you rather than a clear and present rejection. I hate awkwardness too (although who doesn't?) so I'd much rather just never know than have to read some too brief/long/strained/apologetic/obviously untrue reasons.

See, I'd much prefer a definitive 'no'. As much as I'd hate it at the time, it would be better than not knowing. I think what's thrown so much is that he mentioned meeting up first, then sent me his number without me asking for it. And within a week, apparently lost complete interest without saying anything. I just don't understand why someone would do that. Obviously it happens all the time for some reason.
Whenever it's happened to me before, it's always been early in the chat and didn't really bother me, but I honestly thought I'd get at least one date out if this first, and none of the other likes I have really stand out (well, some do, but live nowhere nearby).

Cheesewogg


Cheesewogg

 Has anyone looked at Prideangel.com? A sperm donation and recipient site? It is laid out like an internet dating site, proffering singles and couples seeking children to be perused by men and women who might provide sperm or a womb.

I'm ashamed to say that some of my single, male heterosexual friends seem to view it as a Shangrila via which some "Dear Fiesta..." style rendezvous with a lesbian couple will take place. That said, there really doesn't seem to be a mechanism explained or advocated by Prideangel.com by which the sperm will be conveyed to the womb other than full on rumpo. Other than that, sodden packages weighed down with brimming turkey basters will have to clutter the Royal Mail's highways and byways.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Jean-Luc Prickhard on September 03, 2019, 03:18:10 PM

So, er, get specific? Are there still dating sites for people with a certain hobby or whatever?

farmersonly.com

Quote from: phes on September 03, 2019, 04:55:42 PM
Maybe the experience is different from small city to larger city. Have you been on tinder, POF?

Cupid isn't perfect, its gradually reduced functionality and brought itself closer in line with tinder, so it's got worse and worse. But I find it much less hateful and populated by many more people willing to read a profile. Pretty much every internet relationship I've had that was sustained for any length of joy was through OKC

POF was worse actually. More numbers but not great and few taking it seriously. A mate described it as "The domain of skanks, racists, and primary school teachers - but you'll get shagged", which I found to be mostly true.

I've had some success with OKC a few years back, but as you say it's unmanageable now. I actually ragequit it the other week as I treated my profile as an exercise in making me laugh rather than meeting anyone, and I figured there was literally no point me being on there now it's become a swipe thing. Match has been the best in my experience, but that's not without pitfalls. Alternately those that quiz you on fertility over a first meet or have attachment issues. I refuse to disclose which camp I fall into.

Going to fuck it all off for a while and go back to not meeting people in the real world. Solo date nights where I can go full Mark Corrigan and eat two roasts.


Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: bgmnts on September 03, 2019, 06:55:56 PM
I never got a shag off POF.

I got one message saying "If you're really 39 you must have had a fucking hard life", which didn't exactly enamour me to them.

Unfortunately I am recently single again after fucking up my relationship with the all kinds of lovely former Mrs SMBH, and am dreading doing the dating thing again. I'm way too fragile to even think about it right now, I did set up a new OkCupid profile but just felt horribly depressed about it all, but at some point next year I'll probably try again and I'm really not looking forward to it.