Internet Dating [split topic]

[phes]

POF was worse actually. More numbers but not great and few taking it seriously. A mate described it as "The domain of skanks, racists, and primary school teachers - but you'll get shagged", which I found to be mostly true.

I've had some success with OKC a few years back, but as you say it's unmanageable now. I actually ragequit it the other week as I treated my profile as an exercise in making me laugh rather than meeting anyone, and I figured there was literally no point me being on there now it's become a swipe thing. Match has been the best in my experience, but that's not without pitfalls. Alternately those that quiz you on fertility over a first meet or have attachment issues. I refuse to disclose which camp I fall into.

Going to fuck it all off for a while and go back to not meeting people in the real world. Solo date nights where I can go full Mark Corrigan and eat two roasts.

I know there's skanks on POF because hey, I'm there. Can't find me any fellow skanks though. A lot of people who might be skanks but it's hard to tell because to be brutally honest, most can't read or write

POF has the highest number of absolute deso profiles. Proper sad ones that knock the wind out of you.

[Poobum]

Done 4 years online dating, met six people. Probably been lucky that all the people I've actually met have been nice but it's such a grind dealing with the vast majority not responding.

I got two partners de sexual off of POF, one was an important learning experience that sex can be bad. No kissing, not allowed to look at her, only one position allowed, and a general sense that she might not be the one. The other is still my favourite human, and am still absolutely gutted about it not working out. She was my first ever actual relationship and it was fantastic. A kind, intelligent person willing to be a total daft prat.

My experience with OKCupid is people are insane but in a fun way. Last person I met off there opened the conversation with how she had a personality disorder and then we had an awesome time, genuinely, no CAB sarcasm. We played who had the most traumatic childhood and boy did she win. We're basically the same person but she externalizes the crazy. Lot's of our coversations boil down to, "so I went that way you went this". Also led to my first threesome when she met a stripper during this years Brighton pride and brought her back up north with her. So you know, internet datings not perfect, but yeah.

How obvious are my motives for posting this from 1 to very?

[Better Midlands]

Unfortunately I am recently single again after fucking up my relationship with the all kinds of lovely former Mrs SMBH

Sorry to hear that SMBH

[Small Man Big Horse]

Sorry to hear that SMBH

Thank you, it is appreciated as I'm all a bit fucked up by it ending. I was hoping that we'd somehow resolve things, but it's now not looking likely.

[peanutbutter]

RE: apps and such, I've found Hinge to actually be okay. Tbh I'm in way too much of a numbing borderline-suicidal mood of late to be on any of them in any serious way but the setup encourages people to put some level of personality into their profile and the matches seem to be more willing to talk generally (as opposed to Tinder where seemingly no one ever messages on anymore)

[zomgmouse]

See, I'd much prefer a definitive 'no'. As much as I'd hate it at the time, it would be better than not knowing.

I'd agree - though sometimes the conversation sort of just fizzles out naturally, but then there's other times when you ask something and they don't reply and it's just a little demeaning I think to be left like that. Definitely prefer a no to a ghost, which hurts in the immediate sense but it feels more human than just being ignored.

RE: apps and such, I've found Hinge to actually be okay.

I tried this about a year ago and found it fairly useless (mainly due to there not being that many profiles and once I'd gone through all of them it just kept repeating the same ones over and over) but I have tried it again recently and found it a lot more engaging and fruitful.

[AliasTheCat]

Unfortunately I am recently single again after fucking up my relationship with the all kinds of lovely former Mrs SMBH, and am dreading doing the dating thing again. I'm way too fragile to even think about it right now, I did set up a new OkCupid profile but just felt horribly depressed about it all, but at some point next year I'll probably try again and I'm really not looking forward to it.

Aw, I'm really sorry to hear that SMBH, take care of yourself.

[AliasTheCat]

I ended up only going on one date using OKCupid, as I found that the whole thing just made me feel weirdly anxious. It certainly felt like (in London at least) you could meet some really great people through it though, and maybe when I'm feeling a little less delicate myself I'll give it another go.

[momatt]

POF has the highest number of absolute deso profiles. Proper sad ones that knock the wind out of you.

Can you post the best ones here please?
Cheers.

[The Culture Bunker]

Reading this thread has brought back some memories. My dating days are (mercifully) a speck in the rear view these days, but I'd guess about 90% of my dating/romantic/etc experiences came from meeting online, as I'm basically hopeless at starting conversations with anyone I think seems nice.

The last time I used OKCupid, I had a run of three or so where I got the same excuse for them not wanting to see me again: "oh, I just split up with someone, I realise now it's too soon to date again". Mind, ten years ago or so, I did have a fantastic run of form that saw three different women in my bed (on different nights, natch) over the Easter weekend. I think that was a bit like that episode of 15 Stories High when Errol suddenly becomes #1 stud muffin.

POF I never had much luck with, though for a month or so I did date a lovely transgender woman, who split with me for the strange "excuse" that I was "too nice" to her. She did admit to have deep-rooted psychological issues, mind.

Perhaps an unlikely source of such antics was Interpals - I reckon I copped off with six different women from various parts of the world through that site, usually when they were visiting the UK and I asked if they wanted to stop at my place, with one thing leading to another. Fun and games, though one of those was someone I fell for very, very hard and wound up suffering a good couple of years of very deep depression over.

[phes]

Can you post the best ones here please?
Cheers.

I don't think I'm going to do that because they're not very funny, just sad or worrying

Stuff like

I am just lookin 4 sumone onest evry guy just uses me cos I'm too trusting  I've ad a hard life had my heart broke 30 times cos I just want to make ppl happy an people take a vantage cos I'm open and wont 2 make happy

It's just, harsh

I did read one earlier that said

Job
Got a flat
2 kids (don't want anymore)

[bgmnts]

Yeah, lots of women in their early 20s with 3 or 4 kids, which is a bit mad.

[RossFromFriends]

[edit]drunken post, sorry[/edit]

I'm currently choosing to believe it's working really well for me. Yeah, my first date off tinder had a penis, but my second is a hot russian milf in my local area. Have the second night in a hotel booked for Saturday.

I seem to be much better at dating now than I was in my twenties. Maybe I'm just good at apps or chatting online - it seems being able to communicate without emoticons or dick pictures is a rare skill. Maybe it's because what's wanted isn't narrow anymore - couple -> marriage -> home -> children isn't the expected expectation. Maybe I've just been lucky.

Nia seems to be crazy about me. Or ... it's a proportionate amount of crazy and I just can't handle how lovable I am. Fucking self esteem issues.

I'm all at sea ... which isn't a bad place, I'm quite happy at the moment but it's a confusing, challenging place.

[Shaky]

I'm back on the scene after ten years and two kids (meaning they're mine, rather than I dated a couple of children over a decade). Sort of excited to be able to legally view ladies bare bottoms again but I need to sort out my a) beer belly & b) frequently depressed willy.

[DoesNotFollow]

[Poobum]

I know it's probably been mentioned, but filters, specifically when they have filters on every photo whilst also having the face of smacked arse in every photo. Just unsmiling and miserable in black and white beneath a halo of hearts. Why do?

A weird trend I've seen lately is loads of cross dressers appearing with very similar profiles. For clarification, not transwomen, but specifically men identifying as men who like to wear lady garments. I'm trying to work out the scam, but am pleased by it's accurate nomenclature. No offensive conflations here.

[bgmnts]

https://www.belfastlive.co.uk/news/belfast-news/tinder-reveals-30-most-right-16873215.amp

Just look at this collection of tedious gruel.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

GO TO OPENING LINE?  "Hello *insert name*" followed by either a princess or rose emoji. It works every time – people either think it's sweet or they laugh at me because it's pathetic. Regardless, it gets the conversation going.

Oh dear

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

My tinder bio is just a link to the Pulp - "Mis-Shapes" video. Zero swipes, but I've made a point!

[phes]

https://www.belfastlive.co.uk/news/belfast-news/tinder-reveals-30-most-right-16873215.amp

Just look at this collection of tedious gruel.

Christ alive what bowel-movement humans

'James recommends smiling and picturing yourself doing your hobbies'

How fortunate James that your hobby is appearing as a football pundit. In his second look, James spreads his legs to reveal a bulging sack modelling this silken Armani crotch-piece.

James, your giant, manly watch appears to be a perfect fit for your trachea.

This article triggers the desire for violence

[Icehaven]

What's all this "probably taller than you", "probably travelled more than you" shite? "Probably more of an arrogant cunt than you."
And if they're so desirable and in demand, how come they've spent enough time on dating apps to become experts? Surely if you're that shit-hot you'll meet someone similarly fabulous almost immediately. Or - hang on - do these apps actually encourage you to keep looking forever because there's always someone better just round the corner?

[phes]

What's all this "probably taller than you", "probably travelled more than you" shite? "Probably more of an arrogant cunt than you."
And if they're so desirable and in demand, how come they've spent enough time on dating apps to become experts? Surely if you're that shit-hot you'll meet someone similarly fabulous almost immediately. Or - hang on - do these apps actually encourage you to keep looking forever because there's always someone better just round the corner?

That 'probably...' thing is all over the apps.

It's social media. Half of them are 'probably less single than you'. And to be fair, their average age is about 22, so they still have enough stuff in their lives that they're not freaking out about being alone

[momatt]

do these apps actually encourage you to keep looking forever because there's always someone better just round the corner?

This is definitely a pitfall of this kind of thing, I imagine more for younger people.  It's so easy to get dates and see endless amounts of new people, it's easy to assume that someone even better is there waiting for you.

But of course if you're waiting for absolute perfection, it'll take forever.

[imitationleather]

Articles like that do make me feel as though if I ever find myself single again the chances of me getting another relationship are pretty much zero. Brrr...

Better go and gaslight my missus so she never leaves!

[phes]

This is definitely a pitfall of this kind of thing, I imagine more for younger people.  It's so easy to get dates and see endless amounts of new people, it's easy to assume that someone even better is there waiting for you.

But of course if you're waiting for absolute perfection, it'll take forever.

On the flipside to this idea that apps could feed dating addiction is the idea that people might actually wait for better suited partners given greater dating potential/experience.

[Poobum]

Is it weird not being able to date someone with the same name as your mum or sister (assuming your a straightmun or a gaywimmin)? I mean I can't say those names during sex, but then I'm having to pass over lots of interesting people. Am I just being a brain wrong?

[Icehaven]

Is it weird not being able to date someone with the same name as your mum or sister (assuming your a straightmun or a gaywimmin)? I mean I can't say those names during sex, but then I'm having to pass over lots of interesting people. Am I just being a brain wrong?

Just get your mum and sister to change their names to Kevin and Barry.

[Kalabi]

Is it weird not being able to date someone with the same name as your mum or sister (assuming your a straightmun or a gaywimmin)? I mean I can't say those names during sex, but then I'm having to pass over lots of interesting people. Am I just being a brain wrong?

I've never understood the "that's my mothers name" thing as being a good line to say when wooing someone.

[drummersaredeaf]

Just get your mum and sister to change their names to Kevin and Barry.

Yes, Mrs Patterson.

[Chollis]

I've never understood the "that's my mothers name" thing as being a good line to say when wooing someone.

I'm sorry, what?