Internet Dating [split topic]

[Kalabi]

It's something I've heard a few times, mainly in old films and things, there's an example of it in the last lyrics of this song -

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rupertholmes/ournationalpastime.html

Weird innit?

[Poobum]

Just get your mum and sister to change their names to Kevin and Barry.

There are actual Kevin's that turn up, obviously catfish who have linked to their actual Facebook. Because I'm shallow, and am distracted by pics of pretty and vivacious ladies, I often swipe right on a profile, noticing just too late they're called, Jonathan, Kevin or Simon.

[chveik]

https://www.belfastlive.co.uk/news/belfast-news/tinder-reveals-30-most-right-16873215.amp

Just look at this collection of tedious gruel.

"sandwich artist" wtf?

[phes]

"sandwich artist" wtf?

I think that's what subway call their staff

I smell bullshit with all this anyway. Most of these people live in places where there is no way whatsoever they'd have the visibility to be the most swiped. They're either social media professionals who are porting to major cities around the world or tinder is just making this shit up

[Small Man Big Horse]

I've never understood the "that's my mothers name" thing as being a good line to say when wooing someone.

It worked for Superman.

[Schrodingers Cat]

Just an update for all the people waiting to find out what happened from last week (which is, presumably, nobody). Bizarrely after being frustrated, convinced I was being ghosted last Tuesday, out of nowhere, he suddenly replied that evening. He even responded pretty much straight away when I asked if he was still up for meeting up - got the answer 'definitely' and was asked about something I'd said earlier. Then literally nothing since. Not a dickie bird. Or any other kind of bird for that matter.

That's a bizarre thing to do as far as I'm concerned. I mean, it's not just me is it? It's weird. This is what I meant by I'd rather have an actual 'no'. It doesn't have to be cruel, just 'sorry I'm really busy for the next few weeks, can't possibly'. Or, stop before it gets that far.
The whole experience has completely put me off these apps to be honest. Seeing everyone else say last week how this is standard behaviour makes me feel like an alien. But, how else does a 27 year old man meet new people?

I don't really know what responses I want from this really, just venting into the aether.
Fuck it, post.

[phes]

Just ask yourself if this is ok with you. Don't bother paining yourself over motivations to make that decision, he isn't that important. And if it's not ok

One rip, riiiiiiight off

That's right. Pursue him further then rip off his cock

[Pinball]

I'm looking for a date. Just sayin'.

I'm male, extremely good looking, and like so many on this site, forever 25 :-)

[Perplexicon]

After a bit of a shit run back in March/April and about to pack it all in for a bit, I only went and met someone very special through these cursed apps, someone I can see a very happy future with. So I guess the lesson of all of this is: you'll probably find someone in London.

[Schrodingers Cat]

Just ask yourself if this is ok with you. Don't bother paining yourself over motivations to make that decision, he isn't that important. And if it's not ok

One rip, riiiiiiight off

That's right. Pursue him further then rip off his cock

Oh, maybe I wasn't clear. I'm working on the assumption that he's not going to get back in touch, and that's that. It's more a question of where I go from here. As I said, this experience, plus everyone saying it's the standard online has just really put me off. Not sure I can be bothered to go through this endlessly, to then settle on the first person who doesn't fuck me off at the first opportunity.

You'll be shocked to learn I don't get many likes, and of the ones that seem interesting, they all seem to live in Manchester, or in one case, Newcastle. Which, given that I live near Leeds, aren't overly realistic options.

(Also, I seemingly don't understand how to use, commas.)

[phes]

Where you go from here is get more apps and ramp up your efforts

Internet dating is just real life dating on steroids. You might spend 12 months banging your head against a wall but eventually you'll strike it lucky. Same thing in real life might take 12 years.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Oh, maybe I wasn't clear. I'm working on the assumption that he's not going to get back in touch, and that's that. It's more a question of where I go from here. As I said, this experience, plus everyone saying it's the standard online has just really put me off. Not sure I can be bothered to go through this endlessly, to then settle on the first person who doesn't fuck me off at the first opportunity.

You'll be shocked to learn I don't get many likes, and of the ones that seem interesting, they all seem to live in Manchester, or in one case, Newcastle. Which, given that I live near Leeds, aren't overly realistic options.

(Also, I seemingly don't understand how to use, commas.)

You have my sympathy, I'm dreading going back in to the dating thing at some point, I'm almost glad I'm too emotionally fragile to bother with it right now as I know how exhausting it can be. I guess all you can do is try and not become attached to anyone before you meet them (which I know can be hard, especially if you spend a couple of weeks exchanging a lot of messages) and perhaps try and talk to as many people at the same time as possible. All of which I've failed to do in the past, but hey, you're probably younger and wiser.

[bgmnts]

Girls tend to not even cancel unless you message them with a "so hey we still on?" or "where do you want to meet?". There's a large level of cowardice or lack of character in people, I have noticed, when given the opportunity.

I once had a girl randomly message me the night before meeting me in Swansea saying she doesn't want to meet anymore. Just a waste of money and time really. That was a grim, grim day out.

[peanutbutter]

Girls tend to not even cancel unless you message them with a "so hey we still on?" or "where do you want to meet?". There's a large level of cowardice or lack of character in people, I have noticed, when given the opportunity.

I once had a girl randomly message me the night before meeting me in Swansea saying she doesn't want to meet anymore. Just a waste of money and time really. That was a grim, grim day out.

Did you already buy the train ticket or something?
I've never gone on an online date that required travelling further than 10 miles, I'd be hard pushed to exceed 5 tbh. The whole process seems x10 as grim in a rural area

[bgmnts]

Did you already buy the train ticket or something?
I've never gone on an online date that required travelling further than 10 miles, I'd be hard pushed to exceed 5 tbh. The whole process seems x10 as grim in a rural area

Aye yeah I did.

And neither would I like to myself but needs must.

[touchingcloth]

If you were at a loose end in Swansea it's only a short taxi ride to The Mumbles, and they apparently get their name because it's an old word for breasts and they look a bit like them, so you could have got your rocks off there before throwing yourself in Swansea Bay.

I hope you ruined that hotel room with semen. Just fucking cummed it asunder.

[bgmnts]

Oh it was only like a day trip out, went home in the evening.
If i'd have booked a hotel room, jesus...

[touchingcloth]

Oh it was only like a day trip out, went home in the evening.
If i'd have booked a hotel room, jesus...

Oh. I assumed (because of "the night before") that you had travelled there in advance of her message. Deso.

[bgmnts]

Nah I just didn't want to waste the train ticket and tried to be all "fuck it I can have fun anyway" WRONG.

[José]

But, how else does a 27 year old man meet new people?

AA meetings.

and those fuckers like to par-tay

[momatt]

Just an update for all the people waiting to find out what happened from last week (which is, presumably, nobody). Bizarrely after being frustrated, convinced I was being ghosted last Tuesday, out of nowhere, he suddenly replied that evening. He even responded pretty much straight away when I asked if he was still up for meeting up - got the answer 'definitely' and was asked about something I'd said earlier. Then literally nothing since. Not a dickie bird. Or any other kind of bird for that matter.

These people are twats, but not uncommon.  Similar things have happened to me loads.
Totally arranged a concrete, place, time and date with a girl.  She seemed really keen and nice.  Then on the day before she went totally silent and stopped replying, so I assumed it was off.
Then on the evening of the date, she texted me, saying 'Hi, how you doing, what you up to tonight'.  As if we'd never made any plans at all.
What a fucking lunatic dickhead.

Had that situation a few times, it's mad and makes no sense.  Don't take it personally, just move on to the next.

[Ham Bap]

Think some people don't want an actual physical relationship with real people but just a vague texting/online relationship they can use as an emotional crutch to make them feel better.

[Icehaven]

You know how some people book tables in several different restaurants then decide on the night which one they're going to go to, either cancelling or often just not showing up for the other bookings? Is that what some of these people are doing only with dates? Some restaurants combat no-shows by taking deposits, so what's the equivalent for dating?

[The Culture Bunker]

You know how some people book tables in several different restaurants then decide on the night which one they're going to go to, either cancelling or often just not showing up for the other bookings? Is that what some of these people are doing only with dates? Some restaurants combat no-shows by taking deposits, so what's the equivalent for dating?

I think there's an element of this. I always assumed that anybody I was talking to had about five or six other conversations on the go at the same time. I went on a date one Saturday afternoon and she told me after we'd spent a few hours together that she had to leave, as she had another date lined up and she'd decide the next day who she fancied seeing again (spoiler: it wasn't me).

[Icehaven]

I think there's an element of this. I always assumed that anybody I was talking to had about five or six other conversations on the go at the same time. I went on a date one Saturday afternoon and she told me after we'd spent a few hours together that she had to leave, as she had another date lined up and she'd decide the next day who she fancied seeing again (spoiler: it wasn't me).

See it's one thing to do that, it's kind of understandable and fair doos, given the nature of online dating etc., but it's quite another to actually tell someone you're on a date with that that's what you're doing. Or is it just refreshing honesty? I dunno, even if I ever found myself doing something like that (and even hypothetically I don't think I would) I wouldn't dream of telling Date#1 I had other people to see and I'd be in touch if his application had been successful. It's just unnecessary.

[imitationleather]

I think there's an element of this. I always assumed that anybody I was talking to had about five or six other conversations on the go at the same time. I went on a date one Saturday afternoon and she told me after we'd spent a few hours together that she had to leave, as she had another date lined up and she'd decide the next day who she fancied seeing again (spoiler: it wasn't me).

Ah man. In that situation you always want to be the later date.

[king_tubby]

Yeah, cos they might be half pissed and you could get some ACTION.

[imitationleather]

When you put it like that it almost sounds unromantic.

[The Culture Bunker]

See it's one thing to do that, it's kind of understandable and fair doos, given the nature of online dating etc., but it's quite another to actually tell someone you're on a date with that that's what you're doing. Or is it just refreshing honesty?

Given I'm a pretty uncompetitive person (I tend to assume I'll lose regardless, thus effort levels drop significantly), it probably didn't do me any good in that respect.

[EOLAN]

Well over a decade for me in my prime internet dating/meet-ups. I didn't have as much problem with the cancellations as with the run-aways. One girl went out for a smoke and used that as an opportunity to get a bus away. Waited about an hour before telling me. I kind of get the message at least 10 minutes in.
Another one; was to go to a party and stay at her (folks') place that night. Separate rooms. Anyway after about an hour with getting booze for party, meeting her gay best friend who smoked like a chimney and meeting her very nice friendly parents; herself and her friend made up a story about a close-friend being involved in a serious car-crash.
Some dates/meet-ups went ahead. Happily buying the drinks. One did tell me when I messaged her a few months later - "OH I remember you; you were that very boring guy" . I cheerily replied; cos I did go off her when she said Will Ferrell was the best and only good thing in the Producers musical.
Oh and one that went ok but didn't meet again. Did pay a month's rent for her with her living in a much fancier place and more pricey than where i was. Didn't really fancy her either but just a soft touch. I might have got a hug out of that one.