Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 11:53:26 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Internet Dating [split topic]

Started by AliasTheCat, March 20, 2019, 08:35:01 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Icehaven

Quote from: EOLAN on September 12, 2019, 11:49:26 AM

Another one; was to go to a party and stay at her (folks') place that night. Separate rooms. Anyway after about an hour with getting booze for party, meeting her gay best friend who smoked like a chimney and meeting her very nice friendly parents; herself and her friend made up a story about a close-friend being involved in a serious car-crash.


I've never internet dated so forgive me if I've very much misunderstood the whole idea of it, but surely having a first date involving meeting the parents and the best friend and staying at the parent's house is nothing short of total insanity. I can see why she sacked you off, you hadn't proposed by the second hour.

EOLAN

Quote from: icehaven on September 12, 2019, 12:50:58 PM
I've never internet dated so forgive me if I've very much misunderstood the whole idea of it, but surely having a first date involving meeting the parents and the best friend and staying at the parent's house is nothing short of total insanity. I can see why she sacked you off, you hadn't proposed by the second hour.

True that. Was probably me watching a Carry-On Film as I hung around the lounge that probably put her and her besty off me. Leading them to come up a with a conniving plan of spectacular crashes and gorey blood.

Jockice

Might give this a go now. Any good?

(PS, if by some bizarre chain of circumstances you're reading this *********, it's a joke, okay!)

Jockice

Quote from: EOLAN on September 12, 2019, 11:49:26 AM

Another one; was to go to a party and stay at her (folks') place that night. Separate rooms. Anyway after about an hour with getting booze for party, meeting her gay best friend who smoked like a chimney and meeting her very nice friendly parents; herself and her friend made up a story about a close-friend being involved in a serious car-crash.

Ah yes, I had that about 15 years ago with someone I met through my job, when she was working for a charity I dealt with. We went for a drink (not sure if it could be classed as a date or not), I spoke to her the next day and she said she'd had a lovely time and it was just like meeting an old friend. So we arranged to meet again (and again I'm not sure if could be counted as a date) only for her mother to supposedly 'fall down the stairs' that day.

Yeah. Right. Sure.

Icehaven

Quote from: EOLAN on September 12, 2019, 01:07:25 PM
True that. Was probably me watching a Carry-On Film as I hung around the lounge that probably put her and her besty off me. Leading them to come up a with a conniving plan of spectacular crashes and gorey blood.

There's a reason why the initial getting-to-know-you stages of seeing someone don't involve doing things like hanging round parent's houses, meeting best friends, meeting parents ffs. That's all at-least-a-few-months-in type stuff and I can see why you both probably felt very uncomfortable with it given you'd just met, however the blame's more on her for arranging it really (unless you invited yourself and insisted on meeting her family and friends, which somehow I doubt.) I get that some people want their nearest and dearest to vet potential suitors but that is absolutely not the way to go about it.

The Culture Bunker

Just to be clear: did she and her best friend then vanish to visit this friend (go to aforementioned party without you), leaving you alone with the parents all night? Or did you sulk off home?

king_tubby

Yeah, did her dad make you bang her mum whilst he watched and wanked?

king_tubby

Alternatively, did her mum make you bang her dad whilst she watched and wanked?

And before anyone asks, yes, I am after stories to think about when palming one off, ok? Is that a crime now? Is it? No. So shut up.

Quote from: EOLAN on September 12, 2019, 11:49:26 AM.
Oh and one that went ok but didn't meet again. Did pay a month's rent for her with her living in a much fancier place and more pricey than where i was. Didn't really fancy her either

Mate!

EOLAN

Quote from: The Culture Bunker on September 12, 2019, 02:37:43 PM
Just to be clear: did she and her best friend then vanish to visit this friend (go to aforementioned party without you), leaving you alone with the parents all night? Or did you sulk off home?

Dropped me off at the train station. Which was awfully kind since their own friend was fighting for his life after the horrific car accident that never got reported.

I think I see what went wrong there: you were supposed to make a fair, at-or-above market-value offer to buy her parents' house.

I recommend the Feeld app, it's framed as a kink/casual sex app but found that it's full of interesting people with depth, you just have to be willing to put up with watersports, fisting and the like before you can develop a relationship. When I was on it I also tended to match with couples who wanted me for their cuckolding fantasies, if that floats your boat, but that's a story for another time.

Flouncer

This seems like a good place to ask about this... I've recently become single again after a relationship of nearly four years. My last two relationships have been with people I met on OKC; I'm an autistic spaz (I've finally been diagnosed this year) and have anxiety issues and stuff, so talking to new people can be a bit difficult for me. Last night I was at the monthly ADHD group I've started going to. It's about the only social thing I do at the moment - like I say I'm a bit isolated, since my relationship ended... Anyway, last night I met someone there who was really cool. We talked a fair bit and had some stuff in common.

The group has a WhatsApp group that you can join - I have been thinking about messaging her on there and saying something along the lines of "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you last night. I'd like to get to know you better - do you fancy going out for a coffee?" Is that a normal thing, that a real person would say to another person? I just don't fucking understand some aspects of human interaction, and consequently dating is a labyrinthine mystery to me. I mean, I don't know if she'd be interested in me like that, and if not I'd be happy just to be friends if she's up for that because she's cool: I really would just like to get to know her better. I don't want to telegraph I WANT TO FUCK YOU - that's not what I'm after and I don't want her to think that.

When I meet someone I like IRL, I often find myself in the postion of wanting to let them know I'm interested in them or just wanting to spend some time with them and see if we get on, but being anxious that they'll think I'm just after a shag or whatever (this is really not what I'm about) and not wanting to bother them. It's like trying to play a game without properly knowing the rules. Confuses the fuck out of me. OKC is easier because it's kind of taken for granted that if you speak to someone then you're interested in getting to know them and potentially having something romantic happen. I've never asked anyone out outside of that environment and I don't want to come across as a fucking weirdo or something.

jonno

Quote"Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you last night. I'd like to get to know you better do you fancy going out for a coffee?" Is that a normal thing, that a real person would say to another person?

Yes absolutely with one small omission, I just think that's cheesy.


José

Quote from: EOLAN on September 12, 2019, 11:49:26 AM
Did pay a month's rent for her

hello friend! send me a an email at 419guy@nigeriantreasury.org. i have some exciting investmens opportunitiy for such a shrewd customer as yourself sir!

phes

Quote from: thelittlemango on September 12, 2019, 04:10:58 PM
I recommend the Feeld app, it's framed as a kink/casual sex app but found that it's full of interesting people with depth, you just have to be willing to put up with watersports, fisting and the like before you can develop a relationship. When I was on it I also tended to match with couples who wanted me for their cuckolding fantasies, if that floats your boat, but that's a story for another time.

Tried this hoping to escape the sex shaming of mainstream apps but I've so few matches in several months that it seems a no go

bgmnts

I wish I kept some of my internet dating conversations, they're some of the most desolate, depressing aspects of my desolate, depressing life. They would have made incredible CaB fodder though.

NJ Uncut

Have suddenly become interested in women again now I am working

I suspect the feeling's mutual, eh, misogynist readers?

Icehaven

Quote from: NJ Uncut on September 12, 2019, 07:29:01 PM
Have suddenly become interested in women again now I am working

I suspect the feeling's mutual, eh, misogynist readers?

Nah, if you're working when are you going to have time to put the hoover round and do the washing up while I'm at work?

touchingcloth

Quote from: bgmnts on September 12, 2019, 07:28:36 PM
I wish I kept some of my internet dating conversations, they're some of the most desolate, depressing aspects of my desolate, depressing life. They would have made incredible CaB fodder though.

What's the best site for deso? Going on there as a CaB pedo hunter could be fun.

bgmnts

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 12, 2019, 11:07:30 PM
What's the best site for deso? Going on there as a CaB pedo hunter could be fun.

I mean Fabswingers is an intensely soul crushing experience but that may be too much.

Just stick with okcupid and POF maybe.

Quote from: bgmnts on September 12, 2019, 07:28:36 PM
I wish I kept some of my internet dating conversations, they're some of the most desolate, depressing aspects of my desolate, depressing life. They would have made incredible CaB fodder though.

Ah, but who would be the fodder, and who the foddee?

phes


sponk

Fucking hell that's some of the funniest desolation I've ever seen

Sebastian Cobb


That's all pretty common stuff in my experience. Entirely desolate, yes, but not unusual. Suspect part of it is that even those who could write something worth reading don't need to - they'll get loads of messages anyway.

sponk

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on September 16, 2019, 10:25:12 AM
That's all pretty common stuff in my experience. Entirely desolate, yes, but not unusual. Suspect part of it is that even those who could write something worth reading don't need to - they'll get loads of messages anyway.

Yeah after spending a while laughing at that it suddenly dawned on me that if I spent an afternoon writing long, detailed opening messages to all of them I'd be shocked if I got more than one reply. So who has the last laugh

Sony Walkman Prophecies

Quote from: Flouncer on September 12, 2019, 05:06:13 PM
This seems like a good place to ask about this... I've recently become single again after a relationship of nearly four years. My last two relationships have been with people I met on OKC; I'm an autistic spaz (I've finally been diagnosed this year) and have anxiety issues and stuff, so talking to new people can be a bit difficult for me. Last night I was at the monthly ADHD group I've started going to. It's about the only social thing I do at the moment - like I say I'm a bit isolated, since my relationship ended... Anyway, last night I met someone there who was really cool. We talked a fair bit and had some stuff in common.

The group has a WhatsApp group that you can join - I have been thinking about messaging her on there and saying something along the lines of "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you last night. I'd like to get to know you better - do you fancy going out for a coffee?" Is that a normal thing, that a real person would say to another person? I just don't fucking understand some aspects of human interaction, and consequently dating is a labyrinthine mystery to me. I mean, I don't know if she'd be interested in me like that, and if not I'd be happy just to be friends if she's up for that because she's cool: I really would just like to get to know her better. I don't want to telegraph I WANT TO FUCK YOU - that's not what I'm after and I don't want her to think that.

When I meet someone I like IRL, I often find myself in the postion of wanting to let them know I'm interested in them or just wanting to spend some time with them and see if we get on, but being anxious that they'll think I'm just after a shag or whatever (this is really not what I'm about) and not wanting to bother them. It's like trying to play a game without properly knowing the rules. Confuses the fuck out of me. OKC is easier because it's kind of taken for granted that if you speak to someone then you're interested in getting to know them and potentially having something romantic happen. I've never asked anyone out outside of that environment and I don't want to come across as a fucking weirdo or something.

Yep. That's a completely normal thing to ask. My personal opinion is you're just overthinking things and vastly overestimating the extent to which people natch this stuff and don't run through the same sorts of questions in their head as well. Just chill out and ask her. Oh, mental illnesses are social constructed btw and don't essentially exist - look up the anti-psychiatry movement for more info. Cheers.

phes

Quote from: sponk on September 16, 2019, 10:58:38 AM
Yeah after spending a while laughing at that it suddenly dawned on me that if I spent an afternoon writing long, detailed opening messages to all of them I'd be shocked if I got more than one reply. So who has the last laugh

But you wouldn't message these people would you?

I tried to enter into internet dating as non judgementally as possible. I responded to 'hi lol' messages from a lot of these people and each and every one was a stream of one-word answers, lols and negativity. To steal someone else's expression: Absolute potato-quality human beings.

Noonling

The only person I met up with off Tinder had an awful profile, and I tried to explain to her (months after we became friends, not on the first date) that all it did was scream "I'M VULNERABLE", but she just considered it " honest".