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March 28, 2024, 05:47:53 PM

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Avoiding massive rows with your Mum as you get older

Started by Nowhere Man, March 24, 2019, 07:34:28 PM

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Nowhere Man

How do you avoid this as you age, a few weeks from turning twenty fucking five now and although we get on a lot better these days she does wind me up something horrible sometimes.

Earlier on it was about me fucking up getting a US work permit because "I hadn't tried hard enough" and had fucked it up ect. This was after me very innocently saying that I was trying to save as much money as possible from my relatively new job (in the UK, having moved back out of necessity) because I hadn't worked in over a year (on account of waiting for that fucking permit) and needed savings. I bit my tongue as much as possible, but her having a go about it really made me feel like shit tbh

Does dealing with this sort of stuff get better as you age, or do you find they wind you up even moreso the older you (and they) get?

Edit: I know, first world problems 'an that

St_Eddie

Quote from: Nowhere Man on March 24, 2019, 07:34:28 PM
How do you avoid this as you age, a few weeks from turning twenty fucking five now...

Twenty fucking five?  Wow, you're ancient, man!

Nowhere Man


Twed

You're probably going to realise more and more that you are different from her the older you get. The answer is maintaining a healthy distance. Things will never again be like they were when you were 12.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Refuse to clean up your room or take the bins out until she stops stropping.

gib

Quote from: Twed on March 24, 2019, 07:48:45 PM
You're probably going to realise more and more that you are different from her the older you get. The answer is maintaining a healthy distance. Things will never again be like they were when you were 12.

Way back in 2007.


Nowhere Man

Quote from: Twed on March 24, 2019, 07:48:45 PM
You're probably going to realise more and more that you are different from her the older you get. The answer is maintaining a healthy distance. Things will never again be like they were when you were 12.

I find that if it's just being in her company for longer than a few hours she can drive me mental. I think having lived apart for so long thanks to uni dorms, house sharing, living in flats ect. has made it even more difficult to be in her company for too long.

Being a introverted only child probably has the most to do with why she can wind me up so much though i'd imagine.

Twed


José

climb up her vadge and kick the shit out of her womb

bgmnts

Still happens with everyone I think.

Live with anyone long enough and they'll drive you insane!

José

go the supermarket with her then throw yourself on the floor kicking and screaming

Buelligan

I think one thing that, maybe, helps is understanding that in a relationship like the mummy one, there's plenty of space and time for half-forgotten/completely forgotten/subconscious resentments, jealousies, habits, you fucking name it baby.  But, at the same time, there's almost always a huge thick underlay of love. 

Try to remember the love, even when she's being a bit of a cunt.  But maybe, after, try telling her what you feel.  That it hurts you and makes you feel whatevs when she picks at your scabs.  Don't get cross, just tell her gently and tell her you love her at the same time.

Then, maybe, after about a thousand years, you'll both get past this.  Otherwise you'll just have to put up with her and she with you until one of you dies and that's a waste.

king_tubby


Twed


José

tug on her skirt annoyingly but then wrench it off completely to reveal a miniskirt bucks fizz style.

rasta-spouse

So there's child/adult and adult/adult communication. Keep an eye on that, because that's what normally triggers friction.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain


Autopsy Turvey

I didn't want to say it then but I'm not afraid to say it now
Every little thing you said and did was right for me
I had a lot of time to think about the way I used to be
Never had a sense of my responsibility

idunnosomename

I think the best thing to do is to kill her and keep her corpse in a room of your second-empire mansion overlooking your motel. everything's usually fine after that.

Barry Admin

My Mum just had her second hip replacement. She is challenging. I'm more and more unable to take the crap, so I dunno, I just walk away and tell her when she has been unreasonable. It's tough, I don't know what to say.

I offered to go round and help earlier and asked twice if she wanted me to bring her anything. No, said she was fine, didn't need anything. As soon as I get there she asks me where her treats are, why didn't I bring her anything, why didn't I even bring biscuits for tea etc, yet she also knew I had no money and could just about afford to get cat food. You can't win, I asked twice if she wanted me to bring anything, grrrr. Remembered I had a bag of crisps I bought, made us a crisp sandwich and wondered how she wouldn't find fault with it, probably how it was buttered... no, I gave her the "small half" apparently. Just finds fault with everything. I was emptying the bin outside and she came out to see what I was doing in a mood - "you took ages, I thought you had a heart attack or slipped and fell."

St_Eddie

Quote from: Barry Admin on March 24, 2019, 09:03:01 PM
I was emptying the bin outside and she came out to see what I was doing in a mood - "you took ages, I thought you had a heart attack or slipped and fell."

If you had, then you probably would have slipped and fallen in the wrong way.  "No, no, no!  You should have fallen on the hard concrete or the spiked railings.  Instead, you fell on my lovely soft flower bed and now my pansies are crushed!"



Buelligan

Quote from: St_Eddie on March 24, 2019, 09:30:04 PM
If you had, then you probably would have slipped and fallen in the wrong way.  "No, no, no!  You should have fallen on the hard concrete or the spiked railings.  Instead, you fell on my lovely soft flower bed and now my pansies are crushed!"

Heheh, I don't know why but that's reminded me of my friend, xxxx and her granny.  She wanted to do a special family meal for everyone one Christmas.  Worked like crazy, everything ready, granny turns up an hour late, dinner spoilt, walks through the door and says Ooh, xxxx, you've gone HUGE!!!  Then hands xxxx her coat and sits down at the head of the table.

BlodwynPig


St_Eddie


Brundle-Fly



St_Eddie

Quote from: Barry Admin on March 24, 2019, 09:52:57 PM
He's right. Do a trade-in.

Yep.  There's some good selections down at the high street retailer, MotherShare.