Have you ever had a "road confrontation"?

[Norton Canes]

More recently, did a massive wanking mime at five or six Ferrari drivers (in a line) who were honking and so on

Next time I do a massive wanking mime at a motorist I won't mime the traditional o-fingered shake but my preferred method. It'll be worth it to see the motorist's facial expression change from "What the fuck is he..." to "Oh, right. Interesting technique."

[Space ghost]

You should get one of those electronic bells. I love their discordant tones as they go whizzing by.

[Gregory Torso]

I lived in China, it's always a confrontation. I told a taxi to fuck off. Stood in the road in front of it, middle finger flying full mast fuck-you flag. Come on then, knock me down. Make me cry. Taxi tried to go through a red light and across a pedestrian crossing that I was pedestrian crossing. A mate of mine kicked a hole in a van as it was trundling past us through another red light. I always wanted to get just a little tap off a car, just enough to justify mass unhinged destruction of someone else's property. Cars, bikes, wildcard pedestrians prancing all over the roads like injured pigeons. Everyone's pushing and shoving their way through each other. Once I saw an old woman get jostled off the road by a bus that was turning on a green light, she threw a block of pavement at it and the back window cracked. The driver got out and was going mental shit at her, but the crowd that had gathered to film it sided with destucto-nan.
Also have seem countless mini-vans skidding along on their roofs, cyclists flying into open taxi doors like sparrows into windows, two bike delivery guys having a kicking fight in the middle of rush hour traffic and a horrific bloody mess man lying down by the side of the road as people filmed him and his ambulance (which was blocked in solid traffic two streets at the lights, we could see it trying to push through and get to its broken person). Don't live in China.

[gilbertharding]

It's only a matter of time now I drive a convertible... I'm still not completely alive to the fact that my shouted exhortations towards my fellow road users ('Hurry up you cloth brained WANKER!') are now completely audible.

[colacentral]

I came out of work one afternoon and on the walk to my car I saw a group of skinheads, about five or six of them, all in the middle of the main road outside the car park, stopping cars from getting past. One got his bare arse out and hopped on someone's bonnet, rubbing his arse all on the windshield.

This infuriated me to an unreasonably high degree, so I hopped in my car as fast as possible to get to the skinheads before they'd moved on, a part of me hoping I'd have to run them over. When I actually got to them though I just decided to shout something childish at them and drive off. I had my escape route planned - just past them was a small lane leading uphill onto a bypass, so I'd be home free from there.

So I got up next to them, wound the window down, shouted "cunts!", and drove off as fast as possible. I saw the skinheads give chase in my rearview mirror, but as I looked ahead, to my horror, someone was driving in front of me doing something like 15 mph, blocking my escape route. So I could see the advancing angry mob getting closer and closer in my rearview mirror as I'm waiting for Hans Moleman to get out of the way, assuming I'm about to be pulled out of my car and murdered.

Finally, at the last second, the other car got past the little lane and I was able to get onto the uphill ramp part, but from the crawl speed I was doing it was still hard to pick up enough speed uphill to get away, and the mob were still advancing closer. One got so close to me that he managed to get a boot to my tail light, breaking it, before I pulled away.

Once I was out of sight I rang the police and said a skinhead kicked my tail light "for no reason."

[colacentral]

Another time, being tailgated through country lanes, I did the standard "pretend to slam the brakes on" move to shit the person behind me up. They usually slam their own brakes on and get pissed off, but this time, as I got further away, I noticed in my rearview mirror that the car behind had been stuck in the same spot, not moving at all since I slammed on the brakes, leading me to believe that I got them to stall. Probably my biggest road justice moment so far; hard to beat that feeling.

[Sebastian Cobb]

You should get one of those electronic bells. I love their discordant tones as they go whizzing by.

Some of us are just too big for the Raleigh Wildcat.

[Emma Raducanu]

I've been tailgated on a dual carriageway, while overtaking 4 slow moving vehicles by what looked like the Mitchell brothers. So eager to get passed me, they gestured undertaking me as I passed the final car, which scared me a bit as I was sure we'd end up in an accident. When I finally did get to pull into the left lane, they sped passed me furiously with the passenger giving me the wanker sign. It was so absurd I actually laughed.

Arriving in my town from the motorway sees 2 lanes narrow to one at the first set of traffic lights. It's hilarious to see how important it is for everyone to get ahead so when the lights turn green, everyone puts their foot down like it's formula 1. On the occasions I move ahead of someone, if you look in your rear view mirror, you'll nearly always catch a glimpse of an irate driver sometimes giving you the finger in frustration. Human beings truly are pathetic

[Sin Agog]

One time my missus went to buy ice-cream with my little boy while I was doing man's work at the garage, when some tasty looking punks started hassling her.  One of them even slung his metal chain around the car, but she drove off licketysplit, wrenching the chain away from him with his hand attached.  Long story short, they were so peeved at her that they did her and the boy in, but luckily I saw to 'em and their entire motorcycle gang one by one.  Even handcuffed one of them to a car that was gonna light up any minute, and gave him a hacksaw to cut his own leg off with if he wanted out.  Wasted a perfectly good hacksaw on that feller, but I can never think clearly when I come down with the road rage.

[jamiefairlie]

Driving on two lane highway in the fast lane (going well over the limit already), twat comes flying up behind so quickly it scared the shit out of me, he starts weaving around, blasting his horn, tailgating, etc. I notice we're coming up to another car ahead of us also in the fast lane, so I politely move into the slow lane but timed it so I slow down just as we come up to the other car in front and then proceed to mirror the other car's speed, effectively boxing the twat in. Went on for a good few minutes too, as I kept pace with the other car - childish but fun and, I'm not doing anything wrong as I'm in the slow lane.


Cyclists - I have no issue with them in general but, really, choose if you are a pedestrian or a road vehicle and stick to that set of rules, stop cherry picking to suit each individual instance as it makes it impossible to predict what the fuck you're going to do.