I will laugh at your jokes in this thread

[St_Eddie]

Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?

They made him a kernel

*murmurs in passed out state*

Muhehee... that one was pretty good.

[Replies From View]

Wizard of Oz walks into bar

Yes, hello, I am Wizard of Oz, says he.

[Mr Banlon]

Knock knock.
Who's there ?
Ah !
Ah who ?
Werewolves of London

[St_Eddie]

Wizard of Oz walks into bar

Yes, hello, I am Wizard of Oz, says he.

"No, you're a drunkard who's spilled his pint all over our curtains, which you're currently barely concealed behind.  Now fuck out of the pub and hobble off back to the place which is like no other and take your manky puke soaked slippers with you.  They reek worse than your halitosis."

[Cuellar]

Do you sell lens wipes?

No, just my own.

[Replies From View]

Rattle snake walks into a bar

Hello, he says, I am a rattle snake

[Replies From View]

Knock knock

(Who's there)

THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW

[popcorn]

OK time to catch up on some of the backlog

A man walks into a bar

The horseman says, "pint of bitter?"

heh

A German walks into a pub and the barman asks, "Bitter?" and the German answers, "I'll have a pint of beer."

heh

A Turk walks into a pub and the barman asks, "Bitter?" and the Turk answers "Death on your family, you racist cunt"

heh

A bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint. The barman says, "A pint of what, mate?"

"Pint of best bitter," says he.

"Oh! I thought it might be a liquid drink of some description!"

"What?! You mad, mate?"

"You don't have to me mad to work in this pub - but yes it certainly helps ha!"

heh

Q: What's the difference between Brexit and your mum ?
A: Brexit doesn't toss off tramps for loose change !

heh

Why did the whatever?

A punchline.


Aaaaáh

heh

[pancreas]

Not fit for office. A national humiliation. A laughing stock.

[popcorn]

Finished reading all jokes in this thread, ha ha.

Thanks

No more jokes for a while please

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

... and that's no joke !!

[Glebe]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was fed up with this side of the road - felt he had to cross, new pastures and that!

[pancreas]

popcorn. ^ laugh at this, please.

[poo]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gary

[St_Eddie]

I did not receive a laugh for my joke.  You shall be hearing from my lawyer.

[popcorn]

I did not receive a laugh for my joke.  You shall be hearing from my lawyer.

Can't you just laugh at your own joke ffs. What did I hire you for. You're supposed to be a professional.

[NoSleep]

OK time to catch up on some of the backlog

heh

heh

heh

heh

heh

heh

Too little too late.

[popcorn]

h

[St_Eddie]

h

Well, if we all can agree upon anything, it's h.

[Replies From View]

OK time to catch up on some of the backlog

heh

heh

heh

heh

heh

heh

Excuse me but what about mine.

All of them please and I will know if you miss any.

[St_Eddie]

Excuse me but what about mine.

All of them please and I will know if you miss any.

I don't think popcorn's heart is in it.

[Replies From View]

I don't think popcorn's heart is in it.

On a previous page he even credited one of my brilliant jokes to somebody else. 

Absolutely useless.  His eye is totally off the ball and he is shit at what this is.


0/10

[pancreas]

I want to know when the trial is. The cunt should be given the chair imho.

[St_Eddie]

I want to know when the trial is. The cunt should be given the chair imho.

Harsh but fair.

[DrGreggles]

Knock knock
Who is it that is there?
Just put my clock forward.
Which 'Just put my clock forward' would that be?
Just put my clock forward. Unfortunately I put it too far forward and it fell off.
Ooh


(See you in 6 months for the 'put the clocks back' gag.)

[Cerys]

Why did the polar bear have an existential crisis?

Because he was FUCKING FREEZING.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Which basketball player was always looking at the back of his foot?!

Check-heel O'Neal is the answer.

[Spoon of Ploff]

What did the broke property developer say to the brooding man who was thinking of selling the Thames Estuary based Red Sands installation?

"A penny for your forts?"

[Glebe]

What did the duck say?

"QUAAACCKKKK!!!"

[popcorn]

H