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I will laugh at your jokes in this thread

Started by popcorn, March 27, 2019, 08:30:49 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?

" Fuck Off, you stupid cunt. "
( He didn't like him very much )

Gregory Torso

"knock, knock."

"the door is open."

"do it. say the thing. knock knock."

"... who's there?"

"its me, you beige smear, you dirty dog dirt pile of shitty old scraps, you worthless wingless moth, you clump of malignant disappointment, you wilting erection"

"come in, dad, the door is not locked, as you well know. what do you want for breakfast?"

"the last thirty years of my life back you egg-laying parasitic joyless void"

"every morning... why dad why"


PlanktonSideburns

How many madhair60s does it take to change a light bulb

One to wait for Sega to release the megadrive mini

One to hack it into a lightbulb

And one to screw it up another ones arse

Too many basically

Chollis

Any fucking danger of getting my joked laughed at then? Been nearly a week

PlanktonSideburns

Wouldn't hold breath. It's more of a cap gag mausoleum these days,

popcorn

Quote from: Chollis on April 02, 2019, 12:38:10 PM
Any fucking danger of getting my joked laughed at then? Been nearly a week

Sorry mate I did laugh at that a few days ago but forgot to post

Replies From View

What do you call Edward Scissorhands with his scissors replaced with actual hands

Edward Handhands





Kind of like Edward Woodward, you see, or that Ewar Woowar joke in a way.  Good one!

Replies From View

What do you call Edward Handhands with more than one hand each

Edward Handshands

Glebe

Did you hear about the man who went to a draclea's castle?

He just fancied a 'bite' to eat!

Replies From View

Did you hear about the wolf who ate things in the style of himself?

He 'wolfed' them down!

St_Eddie

Q: Why did popcorn's local cinema ban him?

A: As the manager explained "the only cannibal one expects to see at the cinema is Hannibal".

Replies From View

Quote from: St_Eddie on April 03, 2019, 03:04:00 PM
Q: Why did popcorn's local cinema ban him?

A: As the manager explained "the only cannibal one expects to see at the cinema is Hannibal".

Which actor plays both Hannibal the cannibal and Hopcorn the popcorn.

Anthony Hopcorns!!

Ferris

A man went into a barbers - "I'd like a haircut please!", he said.

"No problem", said the barber - "which one?" !!!

Very funny joke, I came up with it you know.

Glebe

Where do whales get weighed?

At a place for weighing whales, a station if you please if you like!

St_Eddie

Quote from: Glebe on April 09, 2019, 01:41:20 AM
Where do whales get weighed?

Something scales?  'Cause fish have scales and scales are a measurement of weight, you see.

dallasman

Does even Dracula hate Glinner now? It's PENNSylvania ffs.