I am afraid to stay at dracala's castle.

[Ferris]

Uh-oh! Charlie's not happy with what you've posted. He's just staggered into the haunted cellar (Christ, if you think the main castle is bad, wait 'til you get a load of what's downstairs. Absolutely rammed with spooks and kooks.) and he's drawn a picture of a mug and scrawled "FerriswheelBueller" on it.

To cut a long story short, the drawing is now surrounded by jacko lanterns (enchanted pumpkins with the faces of Michael Jackson and Karl Howman carved into them) and they are all pissing themselves.

That's the last time I help him out of a Rotterdam holding cell.

[Glebe]

Durst I spy a wild ephelant trunking it's way towards ye? YOU decide!

[Captain Z]

The banshee has gone down to reception to complain about the noise from the hen party of sexy witches.

[Bazooka]

I've just taken a piss in the 5th floor bathroom and saw Peter Andre fleeing looking white as a sheet, because a skeleton warrior with wings approached him in an unkind manner, even the rich and famous are not safe in these damn castle walls. DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.

[pancreas]

The Demon Headmaster now taking the register.

Alergator? Present.
Banshie? Here, Sir.

Unfortunately that's as far as they get because a Lockness falls through the ceiling, and let me tell you, it's a bloody mess in there.

[Bazooka]

Just peeked through a chink in the wall and saw a shaman and a witch doctor having a snog and summoning a reptilian barbarian at the same time, absolute lack of respect for anyone else, DISKGUSsTING.

[Paul Calf]

a person, of the lagoon, of colour

That's racist.

[Glebe]

You open a side door to try and escape the castle but a annabelle doll is waiting and attacks!

[Replies From View]

It's not just a annabelle doll.  She has brought along a Tiny Tears to help her on her rampage.

[Chollis]

Lions and tigers and bears oh shit

[NoSleep]

Fell of a cliff: thanks for nothing. Now the long walk through the green screen...

Hey, thraxx: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,61970.msg3795753.html#msg3795753

[seepage]

A guardian proofreader has just finished work for the week and is heading to the castle. Now you're for it.

[pancreas]

A guardian proofreader has just finished work for the week and is heading to the castle. Now you're for it.

Do not worry. They will get eaten by the fyre ballrogs. I am sure of it.

[Bazooka]

Dom Littlewood got really agitated about the service the castle was providing and stormed up there, only to be held hostage at knife point by Medusa's step father and poltergeist's mistress, things are not looking good for the bald bloke. We have to help NOW!

[thraxx]

Hey, thraxx: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,61970.msg3795753.html#msg3795753

Seen!

[Replies From View]

Argh these are currently being dispatched.  Unleashed over the floors of every room in the castle like marbles in a Home Alone film:



Wobbling every which way but never even once falling down - help!!

[seepage]

Argh these are currently being dispatched.  Unleashed over the floors of every room in the castle like marbles in a Home Alone film:



Wobbling every which way but never even once falling down - help!!

They really are liitle bastards. Divide and conquer is the answer, don't try to take them on all at once.

[pancreas]

Top tip. They are really afraid of natterjacks. Throw some natterjacks at them.

[Glebe]

You think you've escaped but a pet semetary cat attacks!

[Bazooka]

Witnessed a sucubus taking a dump, if you have not yet arrived, turn back now.

[pancreas]

Too late for me. In the bathroom, a couple of wood elves are trying to recreate Two Girls One Cup. It's all quite unseemly.

[seepage]

Vampirella's here! But she's got a +5 broadsword and this time it's personal.

[seepage]

Today is Zombie Party Day at the castle! So you can only move one hex per turn and the only word allowed is 'braaaains!'

[pancreas]

Aknicker Rice has just turned up in a hellycopper. She has to sort this mess out. FOR CHARITY.

[Ferris]

Aknicker Rice has just turned up in a hellycopper. She has to sort this mess out. FOR CHARITY.

ATTENTION: THIS IS NOT A REAL UPDATE

I was just having tea with Ms Rice and she insists this is complete bunkum. She's never even been to a haunted house, nor ridden in a helicopter. This type of scaremongering should be beneath us all.

[seepage]

Actually, it was a davina macall in a hellcart, and she's gonna decide who's first to get evited from the castle.

[Glebe]

I wonder if the arrival of three chuckies and a critter will have any impact on the current situation?

[Ferris]

Actually, it was a davina macall in a hellcart, and she's gonna decide who's first to get evited from the castle.

Make sure more sense - as per usual, I saw it coming with the introduction of Michael Howard. A hack move by the producers to gin up ratings.

Won't be popular with the audience. I'm predicting him voted out after 2 weeks TOPS.

[thraxx]

Look out an army of tarrasques has arrived. Get out of that one you bunch of a cunts.

[Glebe]

How about twelve Michael Myers? Beat that!