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I am afraid to stay at dracala's castle.

Started by Glebe, April 02, 2019, 01:09:28 AM

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St_Eddie

The Godzillas and Mothras have all dropped Ecstasy tablets and are now chattering away, both verbally and in terms of their teeth, literally.  The wolfmens are at their feet, struggling to stay afloat in a tsunami of sweat.  As for the aforementioned Kaiju, they keep on hugging, apologising for decades of fighting and repeatedly saying how much they love each other.  Things may turn sour once the comedown kicks in though.

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on April 04, 2019, 12:51:11 AM
think you mean Frantkingsteind's "Montster"

Dammit!  I'm always getting that wrong.  Come one, Ed!  You should know this by now... Dockterer Frantkingsteind's "Montster", Dockterer Frantkingsteind's "Montster", Dockterer Frantkingsteind's "Montster", Dockterer Frantkingsteind's "Montster", Dockterer Frantkingsteind's "Montster".  Okay, I think I've got it now.

Docketur Franplooten...  Ah, dammit!

Glebe

A alien has now come down from the planet Jupiter, and is zapping everyone running out of the castle with it's ray guns. You couldn't make it up.

Glebe

a bride of dracoloa is attacking now. watch out!

The godsilas are nowhere to be found. You'd think someone would have noticed them leaving or getting killed or whatever due with them being hundreds of feet tall, but nobody's seen anything. The situation is becoming untenable if you ask me.

bomb_dog

Oh no, the Bride of Draculia is having a big catfight with the Bride of Frankingstiens and there is all limbs and blood flying and that. I think MoMo may well be wading in in a minute. And 34 Chewbaccaccas. And a cupacabralda. After that, they are all going to hell in a handcart.

You'm Right! You couldn't make it up.

Replies From View

Quote from: Glebe on April 03, 2019, 06:54:49 PM
This is getting out of hand now. I think they're going to call Red Adair, though apparently he has never tackled a dracolas before.

No he does singing in the rain but not tackling dredulas.  They are sending the wrong people in, in my view.

seepage

A sorcereroress has arrived now and is lobbing iceballs about like nobody's business

wosl

lads! lasd! up on the minstrels' gallererly




(fark. whats the best way of misspelling 'gallery?)



Tell you who's just gone in. Fat Skeletor. That'll sort it out good and proper.

Bah, he barely lasted five minutes before being turfed out by a couple of Boglins and a strawberry Fiendish Feet.

Cuellar

Free-for-all ghoul fest in the east turret. Avoid!!

Chollis

Grandmaster Shart and the Furious Five are live now in the Old Rectory but they've been dead for 15 years


wOaHooOAhHhOAaAoooo

seepage

Ripley will nuke dracala's castle from high orbit in five minutes - what you gonna do? Quick, you've wasted 30 secs reading this already

Captain Z

Quote from: seepage on April 04, 2019, 03:39:35 PM
Ripley will nuke dracala's castle from high orbit in five minutes - what you gonna do? Quick, you've wasted 30 secs reading this already

Won't work, you'll just end up with a Nucular Draclea.

Chollis


seepage

Lazer beams from Nucular Draclea's eyes vaporise the space alien.

Gregory Torso

reports coming in of a big jaws swimming around in the moat chomping anyone fool enough to try and swim in it.

Ferris


seepage

Who summoned the flipping great Red Dragoon? It's stuck in the scullery but will be mighty mad when it gets out.

Chatter about a donkeykong being airdropped in off a hot air balloon on the CB radio. He's got a fucking shitload of barrels an all.



thraxx

It is no longer possible to learn specialist glyphs "castle". The only ways to gain them are:

Teaching scrolls - As a reminder teaching scrolls of standard spells do NOT count towards a wizards teaching scroll cap.
With points post 8th.
From a player with the ability to teach them.

Temporary 6pts (potion allowance) now cost 200 grulls per dose.
Armour now costs 50grulls per location per point of A/C when purchased from the desk, and it is not possible to buy master crafter armour from the desk. This means a suit of A/C 3 all over is 3x7x50 (1050 grulls total) to buy.

Soldiers - it says buy ability to do with armour at -2 tables and then gives an example of Armour Master T8 1000pts???
Then is says you can get it on T6 for 600 pts. Clearly the costs are wrong but is there some kind of cost reduction as well as lower tables?

I was thinking of playing a dworf preest. I see that they can use any blunt weapon. I wanted to use a hammer as they look cool and would be fitting for a dworf as that forms part of there holy symbol. At 6th level you get weapon master mace, is there some flexibility here to allow it on the hammer or am I stuck with weapon master mace?

seepage

^ yes, a preest might be a good idea under the circumstances.

Oh look, a squad of Space Maroons have shown up, with a Chaplin an' all - they'll sort everything out.

Nope. All of them slapped to death by a diabetic beetlejuice.

Glebe

Quote from: wosl on April 04, 2019, 01:09:23 PM
lads! lasd! up on the minstrels' gallererly




(fark. whats the best way of misspelling 'gallery?)

Hurrah! Karma galore, wosl!

Meanwhile, it's all going on at the castle! We've managed to sneak inside and nab this EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE!

Ray Travez

Quote from: Chollis on April 04, 2019, 03:25:32 PM
Grandmaster Shart and the Furious Five are live now in the Old Rectory but they've been dead for 15 years

Yes, they died 15 years ago this very night in a bizarre rap/ electro-scratch/ rectory accident. But some say that their ghostly forms can still be heard freestyling breakbeats to this very day... in fact you just said it, right there.

Glebe

UPDATE: A visibly-shaken Pertwee managed to make it out of the castle. Apparently he almost made it out unscathed, before he was set upon by four draclees.


Replies From View

Update:  A Scott Bakula has somehow wormed its way into the turrets and is currently threatening to leap.

Update: Five lock ness monsters getting pulped by a panzer dragoon.

Replies From View

Update:  THE SCOTT BAKULA IS LEAPING NOW