going for a haircut tomorrow

[Mr_Simnock]

I HATE having my hair cut sometimes, the small talk the hairdressers want to engage in for whatever reason just so aNnoys me, I find it excruciating. NO, I'M NOT FUCKING DOING ANYTHING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY OR GOING OUT TONIGHT AND PLEASE STOP ASKING LOADS OF FUCKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

[steve98]

Just tell them you're deaf. Have a piece of card with it printed ("I'm Deaf")

[Neville Chamberlain]

When they ask how you'd like your hair cut, say "In silence!"

[Cuellar]

I find a bit of mild sobbing helps smother any putative conversation in its sleep

[Neville Chamberlain]

does anybody know where i can go for a good haircut

Fucking Rumbelows where do you think?!?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That surprised me to read. You're a chatty sort, Simnock, and I should know. I'd have thought you'd have been all over the barber banter, you should be teaching them how to give good craic.

[Ferris]

This is one of the real upsides or having a baby. You can say "I have a baby" regardless of context, and the eyes of the hair person will light up and they'll do all the conversations for you. You just nod, or if you stop listening and become aware they are waiting for a response that you can't supply, you can say "Sorry! He was up a lot last night and I'm a bit tired!" with s sheepish grin, and this will set them off again.

So my advice - pretend you have a baby. Don't actually get one though because then you'll be too tired to enjoy your cool new haircut.

[Chollis]

Only reason I watch football is to have something to talk about with barbers. What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?

[pancreas]

Hello there! I would like to change my will and disinherit one of my children.

Absolutely, sir. I only need to ask one question ...

[Hey, Punk!]

Hello, I would like hair on the top of my head.

Can't do anything about that, you're bald. I recommend staying indoors for the rest of your life.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Have it so your sister is one of the best hair stylists in town.

That way you get an ace cut, plus you can have a decent chat.

[gilbertharding]

"But Tony Curtis doesn't have his hair cut anything like this!"
"He would if he came in here sir."

[idunnosomename]

I WANT MY BALLS SHAVED

[Hey, Punk!]

You know what would be funny?

If you went in the barbers

asked for a haircut

and the barber said 'which one'.

Get it?

You were referring to the collective 'hair',

but he thought you meant an individual 'hair'.


ha ha

[Neville Chamberlain]

"A 'Stefan Dennis', please."

[gilbertharding]

"I asked for a Gregg Wallace but you've given me a Ross Kemp."

[Ray Travez]

I HATE having my hair cut sometimes, the small talk the hairdressers want to engage in for whatever reason just so aNnoys me, I find it excruciating. NO, I'M NOT FUCKING DOING ANYTHING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY OR GOING OUT TONIGHT AND PLEASE STOP ASKING LOADS OF FUCKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Oh yes, that certainly can be annoying!

Sooooo... going anywhere nice on holiday this year?

[gilbertharding]

Not working today?

[Ferris]

You know what would be funny?

If you went in the barbers

asked for a haircut

and the barber said 'which one'.

Get it?

You were referring to the collective 'hair',

but he thought you meant an individual 'hair'.


ha ha

I don't understand

[Replies From View]

Hello I am elderly now and have passed on my barbering and or hairdressing baton to the younger generation.

You may have already noticed that, but please don't show them unkindness.  They are doing their level best on a cruel playing field.

[sanchopanza]

I use a barber.  Been in the family generations.  They're excellent, no nonsense, not very hygienic but excellent at what they do.

You get an excellent haircut for £8.  I always give them a tenner.

I get anxious though as there will come a time it'll cost a tenner.  What then? 

At the moment it's stress free because you know you'll lose the tenner, good haircut, tip, everyone happy. 

The harmony of my haircut process is going to be ruined in the future and I'm not looking forward to it.

[Replies From View]

Been in the family generations.

Where are a family's generations?  Are they close to the genitals again?

[Chollis]

I use a barber.  Been in the family generations.  They're excellent, no nonsense, not very hygienic but excellent at what they do.

You get an excellent haircut for £8.  I always give them a tenner.

I get anxious though as there will come a time it'll cost a tenner.  What then? 

At the moment it's stress free because you know you'll lose the tenner, good haircut, tip, everyone happy. 

The harmony of my haircut process is going to be ruined in the future and I'm not looking forward to it.

My local barber's just gone up from £9 to £10. Awkward moment for them. Putting the prices up but not actually getting any more money. Should've just gone balls out for the £15 and added complimentary Nike ticks

[pancreas]

Hello there! I would like to change my will and disinherit one of my children.

Absolutely, sir. I only need to ask one question ...

I feel this should have had more recognition.

[Replies From View]

I feel this should have had more recognition.

Hello, but I am elderly now.