Trawling Facebook for the dead

[Noodle Lizard]

It's morning, I've not slept, and I'm trawling Facebook trying to see if any of my old schoolmates have died.  This isn't the first time I've done this and it won't be the last.

Two so far.

The trick is to look for the ones who haven't updated their profile picture in a few years.  That's usually a hint.  Then look for memorial pages.  Obituaries.  GoFundMe campaigns for funeral expenses.  If they're gone, you'll get confirmation sooner or later.

A lot of them are married or have children, some of the attractive popular ones have gone bald, but that's not what I'm looking for.  I'm in search of death.

Now I'm going to take my stepson to school.  He has no idea what I've been doing all night.  He has no idea what's in my head.  He has no idea that I see a ticking countdown clock above his schoolmates' heads.

Everyone's heads.

Ticking.  Ticking.  Ticking.

[Norton Canes]

April fool

[Chollis]

some of the attractive popular ones have gone bald, but that's not what I'm looking for.  I'm in search of death.

same thing

[Sebastian Cobb]

My dead mate's still got a facebook profile. I've not seen anyone post 'rip' or anything on it. I don't know if his family know they can turn it off or mark it as deceased.

I know one person I knew at school has died as someone else posted a RIP thing on the anniversary of his death. I don't know what exactly happened but the person who posted the RIP alluded to self-destruction and having to cut them out of their life. The last I remember is from years ago them saying they'd been arrested driving a car with the wheel hanging off after a crash, pissed out of their tree and the same person telling them they need to sort themselves out.

I did think about asking them what happened but I never really was mates with the dead one and haven't spoken to the other one in ages so decided against it.

[imitationleather]

Now I'm going to take my stepson to school.  He has no idea what I've been doing all night.  He has no idea what's in my head.

[Dex Sawash]

#makefilm(on mirror)

[up_the_hampipe]

Woah that's concerning, man...

You have a step son?

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Found out by chance, two years ago, that someone I once knew had just had a fatal heart attack.  Nice piece of schadenfreude, as he was an obnoxious prat.

[Icehaven]

At my school reunion in 2011 (when were were all 30 or 31) we were cheerfully told that we were the first year group ever in which no one had yet died by that age. We all looked around the room, wondering who it was going to be. As that was 8 years ago now we're well overdue, but I don't know if anyo

[Sebastian Cobb]

At my school reunion in 2011 (when were were all 30 or 31) we were cheerfully told that we were the first year group ever in which no one had yet died by that age. We all looked around the room, wondering who it was going to be. As that was 8 years ago now we're well overdue, but I don't know if anyo

RIP Icehaven

[Norton Canes]

This was all a lot easier when Friends Reunited was around. No trawling through friends lists, everyone was there for you in one convenient place.

Except the person you really fancied, obviously.

[imitationleather]

When Facebook first became popular absolutely loads of people I barely knew from school added me. It just seemed to be the done thing then.

It went:

Primary school people: Now very racist and really hate Muslims.

Secondary school people: Bald and/or living abroad.

[seepage]

The downside of this is that Facebook will now ask you to be friends with a dead person.

[Icehaven]

When Facebook first became popular absolutely loads of people I barely knew from school added me. It just seemed to be the done thing then.

Yes this exactly. And because it then changed and became a bit forward and needy to send a friend request until you knew someone fairly well, I've still got far more fb friends that I barely ever spoke to at school (in some cases actively disliked) and haven't seen for over 20 years than from people that I've met in the last decade.

[Huxleys Babkins]

When Facebook first became popular absolutely loads of people I barely knew from school added me. It just seemed to be the done thing then.

It went:

Primary school people: Now very racist and really hate Muslims.

I found the same, but also secondary school people. 90% of people I went to school with seemed to be falling for that thing about England shirts being banned in pubs because it upsets Muslims so I deleted them. They were all posting the same stock response about forcing them to "take off their turbans". Not a single original idea between them. Fucking idiots.

[touchingcloth]

I remember once seeing some friends posting tributes to someone unknown to me who had died unexpectedly in their early twenties. I couldn't stop laughing when one of the tributes said that they would miss the dead man and his big heart, knowing as I did by then that the cause of death was a heart attack.

[Twed]

Around 2006 I Googled an old friend. I taught him to program and after secondary school heard he had landed a job, which irritated me because I was unemployed and a better software engineer (childish bitterness). He was the Vern in our social group, I was the monstrous Gordie/Teddy hybrid. Or in Lord of the Flies terminology, he was Piggy.

I Googled him because I wanted to find out what he was doing at work, and because I missed the banter. Silly bastard drove under a truck didn't he, and his head fell off. I found out because one of his coworkers posted on a forum about it.

Sorry, I set this up like it would be a more interesting story than it is. That's the end of the story.

There were some newspaper articles too, the best one being his uncle doing a run to honour him. The newspaper had staged a photo of the uncle in the background ready to run, and my friend's framed photograph in the foreground. It looked like the uncle was running up to punt the photo into the distance, which I found very funny. I wish I'd saved that.

[Twed]

Around 2006 I Googled an old friend. I taught him to program and after secondary school heard he had landed a job, which irritated me because I was unemployed and a better software engineer (childish bitterness). He was the Vern in our social group, I was the monstrous Gordie/Teddy hybrid.

Although I suppose that in a way he was Chris, because he died. But no, he was very much Vern right down to the freckles, flab and rubbish brain.

I miss having friends who I hated. It's enjoyable as a teen, because you're allowed to be rude to them in a way that makes it fun that you ostensibly hate each other. As an adult you mainly have to tolerate people and just have an internal dialogue that's screaming "FUCK OFF KAREN".

[littlenell]

Im going to do this, good idea, thanks.

[thenoise]

Not sure what the etiquette is with dead facebook friends. Do I have to stay friends with them forever? Seems a bit rude to delete them. Not as if they're going to bug me with sharing Britain First posts is it? But if I live to be 97 like my grandfather did, pretty soon my friends list is going to be largely memorial pages of the dead.

[Bazooka]

Had a lad(a man now, before you call Scotland Yard) add me recently on Facebook from my secondary school days, and he had the nerve to ask me where he knew me from, despite the fact I was nice to him for years whilst everyone bullied him for smelling of piss(he did), but the point is, he added me.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Not sure what the etiquette is with dead facebook friends. Do I have to stay friends with them forever? Seems a bit rude to delete them. Not as if they're going to bug me with sharing Britain First posts is it? But if I live to be 97 like my grandfather did, pretty soon my friends list is going to be largely memorial pages of the dead.

Makes organising a good old-fashioned tontine easy though.

[a duncandisorderly]

five of my FB friends are now deceased, & all but one of their profiles is still active, several years later. good passwords, I guess.

[NurseNugent]

There are 5  people from my year at secondary school who have died that I know of, could be more. I'm 42. I don't if that's a lot of dead peers or  not. 3 died long before Facebook was a thing, one I never added so only one I was Facebook friends with and her profile was removed very quickly afterwards. 
I have two other dead Facebook friends I don't want to remove them but it is weird seeing birthday notifications for them.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Tried doing this but my Facebook was quickly hacked by a skellington

[Noodle Lizard]

I'm still relatively young, so the two "hits" so far have been a suicide and an accident (fell out of a window in Poland).  Unfortunately, these two were people I quite liked.  The people I hated are just bald or reposting memes every few minutes.  One of them had a bit-part in Skins in 2011.  The short ginger kid everyone picked on has become absolutely ripped and boxes semi-professionally.

Mildly interesting, but not enough.  I've got time before the bodies really start hitting the floor.

[up_the_hampipe]

I'm still relatively young, so the two "hits" so far have been a suicide and an accident (fell out of a window in Poland).

I didn't know you went to school with Conor Clapton.

[Dex Sawash]

Woah that's concerning, man...

You have a step son?

He goes a bit quiet on CaB for 6 months and manages to pass 5 years IRL. I may give that a try.

[Icehaven]

There are 5  people from my year at secondary school who have died that I know of, could be more. I'm 42. I don't if that's a lot of dead peers or  not.

Well if my school reunion was anything to go by then it's apparently normal for at least one to have died by the time you're 30. Also might depend on wether or not you went to a boy's school, as the odds of you dying, while higher for men at any age, have the greatest gender disparity between the ages of 15 and 44.

[imitationleather]

Well if my school reunion was anything to go by then it's apparently normal for at least one to have died by the time you're 30. Also might depend on wether or not you went to a boy's school, as the odds of you dying, while higher for men at any age, have the greatest gender disparity between the ages of 15 and 44.

In that case I'm kind of curious who from my school died (but not curious enough to ever go to a school reunion or ask someone who might know on Facebook). It's a bit of a turn up at the bookies that it wasn't me.