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I Lost My Passport

Started by Lisa Jesusandmarychain, April 04, 2019, 11:40:07 AM

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Lisa Jesusandmarychain

I 've not been having such a brilliant time of things lately, so jumped at the chance for a glass of sparkling water or two with a colleague of mine in our local hostelry. At one stage,emboldedned by some particularly sparkling glasses of the clear stuff, we left our jackets to wild abandon, as we strode around the establishment, masters of all we surveyed. My colleague had his picture taken while he held up a picture of Chairman Mao, and with the jolly, be-bearded barman. I believed my jacket , wherein was ensconced my lovely passport, which in turn housed my equally as lovely work visa, was as safe as houses in this entirely trustworthy imbibing establishment, housed in a cellar, which offers a wide range of waters all the way from sparkling to non-sparkling, and at roughly a quarter of the price of other vendors of aqua for the drinking of, so you have all manner of discerning thirstquench-seeking  water dinkers congregating in that fine place.

Anyway, on the metro home, I checked my pockets for my top passport. It was not there. "Oh, Dear." I thought to myself, even permitting myself a "Yalky Palky", as they are want to do in these parts ( Russia, konyezhna).
I was barely able to  sleep in the night hours that ensued, and arose at 6:25 am, in order to dash to my place of employment for when its very doors opened at the stroke of 8:00 am, lest I had inadvertently  left my all-important dokumenty there . A frenzied foraging around the staffroom guaranteed that I had not.

So, biez passport undt working visa in Moscow. Not a good position to be in. The morning was spent arranging trips to the police station and British embassy for the laborious and not terribly cheap process of new passport and work visa procuring. I was not overjoyed at the prospect of visiting these places, snazzy though the interior of the British Embassy is.

It was a despondent Lisa Jesusandmarychain who took desultory steps down to BeerSparklingwaterTime, the venue of my carefree activity the eve before .It was 12:05 pm , the place had only just opened, and I was indulging in the folly of seeing whether or not my Passport had not actually been swiped by some  gaseous H20-guzzling ne'er-do-well, but had actually been mislaid by myself, and kept behind the bar ,awaiting my return.

At which point, the same bearded barman from aforenight, at that moment mopping the somewhat sticky floor, with a gesture redolent of "Oh, it's you , is it, matey? Thought it might be" , went behind the bar , and re-emerged WITH MY FUCKING PASSPORT, and big ol' grin on his bearded chops. With a cry of "THANK FUCK FOR THAT! SPASSYBOH FUCKING VAM!"  I gave yer man a hearty handshake, graduating to a hug for the clearly amused fecker. Thus endeth the tale of how I lost (and found again, orbviously) my passport.

Any similar stories from anyone?

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

(Tag) Thread titles you can sing the first line of " My Sister" by Juliana Hatfield to. (Tag)

Icehaven

Lost my passport in the mud at Glastonbury 1997, having only taken it with me as ID to buy booze (having just turned 18 and being one of the only ones in my group who had) and not being asked for it once. Had to go to the Australian embassy a few weeks later to sort it out, right ballache.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

So you didn't find it again ? :'-(

I've never had a passport for the full ten years, btw. Stolen ( pickpoketed in Slovakia, mugged in Lithuania, Clicherobbed in Rome, ), or told to get a new one by the powers that be, due to the most recent one before this 'un cos the photo was slightly water stained (had managed to travel to Estonia, Vietnam and Cambodia and back to England with the selfsame stained artefact, before being rumbled), four years shy of its expiry date.
I've only had the current one for just over six months, so you can imagine how chuffed I am that I've not lost the fucking thing.

Icehaven

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on April 04, 2019, 11:58:31 AM
So you didn't find it again ? :'-(


No, but I did think my picket might have been pocked as I wasn't even pissed when I lost it, and moments before realising it was gone I'd definitely felt it in my pocket when I got my wallet out to buy food. Although that would mean whoever did it chose the moment I had my wallet in my hand to pick my pocket, which would be a bit daft so it probably fell out somehow when I put my wallet back. 

Mr Farenheit

I lost mine in Milan once on a holiday when I was pissed most nights. Phoned the British embassy in Rome and he said just get a police report which unbelievably was enough to board a flight to Spain the next day.

Once in Spain I got a new one via the British embassy and thought no more about it.... Until!
Five years later I opened a book I hadn't looked at for about I guess five years and out falls my fucking passport.

BlodwynPig

Flew Glasgow-Gdasnk and back WITHOUT A PASSPORT after forgetting it at home. No-one even asked to see it. This was the week AFTER 9/11

QDRPHNC

I once left my laptop in a motel room in Niagara Falls. I was halfway back to Toronto before I realized, turned around, and went to pick it up. Thrilling stuff.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: QDRPHNC on April 04, 2019, 08:18:02 PM
I once left my laptop in a motel room in Niagara Falls. I was halfway back to Toronto before I realized, turned around, and went to pick it up. Thrilling stuff.
If we're going to repeat stories for a larger audience:
I once left a very expensive white shirt in a hotel room in Oslo. I was all the way to Glasgow before I realised, called them up, but they never found it. #ScandiBlan(c/k)

Twed

I've never left anything important behind anywhere, due to my competency.

popcorn

I am in Costa Rica. My new name is Lisa.

Once in Tokyo I found a freshly minted train pass in the street. They're only for tourists, you can only buy them outside Japan, and they give you all-you-can-eat rides on all the bullet trains in the country and most other trains too. As it happened I found it on the first day of a week off work. I could easily have treated myself to a trip to Hokkaido on some hapless foreigner's dime. But instead I handed it into a police station and found him on social media to tell him. I immediately regretted being such an upstanding member of society because his social media accounts indicated that he was an American Legend Gary.

Replies From View

They don't even call them Legend Gary over there.

Stop drinking so much, you're being an idiot. This comes from a place of kindness but delivered with unflinching clarity.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain


Ferris


popcorn

I've checked with an American friend and he has clarified that in America he is called Epic Dave.

I was surprised by Dave as I thought it was a bit innocuous, but he says "I think it works because bland white guys go through phases of drunken obnoxiousness where they try to compensate for their lack of personality by being Epic".

EDIT FOR UPDATE: He muses: "Perhaps it would be more of a Tyler. Or one of those names that's always initialized. TJ."

Nowhere Man



Ian Drunken Smurf

Passport got nicked in Vienna. Got over to UK on an ETD and got a new one at vast expense and back to Austria in 22 hours. Jumped on planes to Dubai and South Africa. Arrived in Johannesburg to be told my passport had been recovered in Vienna.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Ian Drunken Smurf on April 05, 2019, 10:12:31 PM
Passport got nicked in Vienna. Got over to UK on an ETD and got a new one at vast expense and back to Austria in 22 hours. Jumped on planes to Dubai and South Africa. Arrived in Johannesburg to be told my passport had been recovered in Vienna.

But that meant nothing to you.

Sebastian Cobb

I've just renewed mine. Fuck knows why I bothered.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 05, 2019, 11:14:43 PM
I've just renewed mine. Fuck knows why I bothered.

Julian Assange inadvertently reveals CaB alias.

Ian Drunken Smurf

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on April 05, 2019, 10:43:14 PM
But that meant nothing to you.
Back then it didn't mean as much. Now I am Austrian though, it means more.


Nowhere Man

Ron Mael's let himself gay

Buelligan

I think you're thinking of Hitler.

Bazooka

The only I've ever lost other than my passion for life, was a Levis hat during a holiday as a kid, but I'm certain it was theft, so doesn't count.