Queerbaiting and $$$

[Noodle Lizard]

Incidentally, I've had a few gay experiences and used to snog guys all the time, but would never describe myself as bisexual because I'm not really attracted to men.  I used to do it to annoy homophobic people in bars, or just for the hell of it.  It would seem wrong to claim that as my sexuality, even though being "a bi guy" was a good way to get girls back in the Myspace gothy scenes I was around as a teenager.  Bands like My Chemical Romance and The Used all flirted with the image quite a lot - it was good for their publicity, considering their fans were mostly comprised of teenage girls.  That was definitely cynical, even if the outcome may have been that a generation of music fans became kind of okay with seeing gay sexuality.

EDIT:  Oh c'mon, let's not have this at the top of a page.

[Urinal Cake]

I think this a reasonable take on this https://youtu.be/g9SfgpF6bok
It happens a lot in K-pop because of datings bans (so like prison people must homo it up), being outwardly gay is still shocking and of course fan service.

[Cloud]

I'm bisexual.  At least, to me I'm bisexual, seemingly others would want to say differently because I've only ever had sex with other men.  But that's how I feel towards the genders (and trans and nonbinaries, so I guess you could say pansexual, but I don't feel like getting technical) and just don't happen to have found the right circumstances to get to that with a female, assigned or otherwise.  Anyway the point being,  as a bisexual I don't personally feel bandwagon'd by anyone like Ariana Grande.  I think it's quite a fundamental difference in how one views celebrities though - I have zero doubt that some of them just... *cringe*... virtue signal for money, but I also like to think that some who happen to get famous, as they're human underneath, realise they're in a position of extreme privilege and try to use their influence to show the world "not only is it okay to be gay, it's cool to be gay".  I'm alright with that.  I don't mind the idea of famous people instilling in their young audiences that gay people are cool.  It sure beats being a "fucking puffter".

[thenoise]

There might be some truth to that, too.  I remember Madonna and Britney Spears and I think Christina Aguilera giving that a go during some performance in the early 2000s.  That felt cynical as fuck even when I was 13 or so - manufactured by some male producer.

Oh, God yes. I admit to being quite excited looking it up on the internet at the time, but it really is the most embarrassing giggly peck on the lips, like watching primary school children kiss. Utterly unerotic.

This might be an old fashioned view, but I've always taken 'gay' to mean preferring men, and 'straight' to mean preferring women, with no particular ban on a wandering eye or prior experience. I suspect most people have a preference one way or another, although a few people are truly 'gender blind' and date people entirely on criteria other than their gender.

My brother has had many gay relationships and experiences but is now happily in a relationship with a woman. I describe him as 'straight'.

[canadagoose]

I kind of see what you're saying, OP, but I do think you have to account for some differences. I think it's much easier for a woman to hook up with a man, for instance, than it is for a woman to hook up with another woman - I find that women are more selective, less likely to approach you and there are also fewer lesbian/bi/pan women than there are straight/bi/pan men. I think sexuality is often a complicated thing, and I appreciate that some people's sexuality is very easy to understand - "am a man, into men only", etc., but for a lot of us it's not quite the same. Not sure how that feeds into queerbaiting - I think sometimes there's an element of wanting to appeal to LGBTQ people, but sometimes it is just how they feel, even if their past behaviour doesn't suggest it. Honestly, I'd prefer it if people just judged other people's sexualities much less. It can be (not always, but can be) so complicated that other people's insight doesn't really cover it. Just let folk identify how they want, ffs.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

There might be some truth to that, too.  I remember Madonna and Britney Spears and I think Christina Aguilera giving that a go during some performance in the early 2000s.  That felt cynical as fuck even when I was 13 or so - manufactured by some male producer.

Yes that was up there as one of the least sexy kisses of all time. Two repellant charges being forcibly rubbed together by the invisible hand of the marketplace.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

All women are bi

The Cramps' attempt to appeal to folk in today's saucy climate dismissed as ' cynical '.

[phantom_power]

If you are cynical yourself you could see it as a cynical ploy to appeal to a different demographic, but then you would also lose out on the Christian demographic which is pretty big in America. Less cynically you could say that it is helping to make being gay, bi or whatever more socially acceptable and so is a good thing.

If it is cynical is it really much different to boy bands playing Heaven or whatever to attract the gay crowd?

[The Boston Crab]

Just checking in to say I am straight as a die and can't even understand what women see in men but equally women are really hard work themselves so it's no wonder about this wanking bin they invented in China.

[Pijlstaart]

It used to be that they'd have good wholesome hobbies to keep their hands occupied and away from their genitals. They'd catch butterflies, go to choir practice, needlecrafts, patchwork especially. Ginghams were always over-represented in patchwork, and never contiguous, if someone was getting too big for their britches you'd point it out, show them they're not as creative as they thought they were. You were taught better than to act on whatever silly little notion was flitting through your head. One boy had the frilliest little socks you ever saw, for church you see, and it was all we could do to rub ourselves off through our sunday best. The vicar caught us of course, and made us throw the little tempter into the coal scuttle and cut his little socks to pieces. "Little imp!" We spat "trickster!", and we all went on to marry god-fearing women. That was what you did in those days. We learned better. Village fetes, we all wanted to run the fucking tombola stand, but what a to-do that'd be, who'd run the other stands? Not like nowadays.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

lose out on the Christian demographic which is pretty big in America

Or cash in on the taboo for rebellious teenagers, the core audience. Just a thought.

[buzby]

Or cash in on the taboo for rebellious teenagers, the core audience. Just a thought.

The conservative christian demographic aren't going to be listening to Ariana Grande anyway, with her suggestive lyrics and dancing and indecent clothes. They have their own parallel pop artists, radio networks and Billboard chart.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The conservative christian demographic aren't going to be listening to Ariana Grande anyway, with her suggestive lyrics and dancing and indecent clothes. They have their own parallel pop artists, radio networks and Billboard chart.

Not sure that's relevant. It isn't a closed society so outside of really ghettoised areaa they are still subject to mainstream music competing with that in public spaces and their friends tastes.

Mainstream popstars don't declare anything about their lives on a whim and every aspect of their public persona is carefully managed. To declare otherwise (not you buzby) simply because of the concept that it may offend sensitivities about the sincerity of bisexuals is offensively naïve at the same time.

Besides, teenagers in all societies love a rebel. Check their Spotify plays and you'll find they love a sexualised bop with the rest of us.

[flotemysost]

Incidentally, I've had a few gay experiences and used to snog guys all the time, but would never describe myself as bisexual because I'm not really attracted to men.  I used to do it to annoy homophobic people in bars, or just for the hell of it.  It would seem wrong to claim that as my sexuality, even though being "a bi guy" was a good way to get girls back in the Myspace gothy scenes I was around as a teenager.

I tend to find it very attractive when non-gay men aren't remotely scared of doing things that might 'look' gay, if it's done with a genuine don't-give-a-shit attitude or as you say, a fuck-you to macho homophobic types - as in, I find it an attractive personality trait rather than an erotic thing.

However I'm aware that this probably stems partly from growing up in an age where 'You're gay!' was the ultimate playground putdown (which always struck me as weird/stupid even before I really started being aware of LGBTQ+ issues) - so I do wonder if guys 'acting' gay will lose its attractively subversive currency as homophobia (rightly) becomes less mainstream and accepted.

My first handful (waheyyy) of proto-sexual experiences were with other women (well, other teenage girls - basically because I was at a single-sex school and didn't really have any male friends before the age of 16, but my curiosity and hormones weren't willing to hang about until then, which I'm guessing must be a very common experience), but likewise I don't feel it would be accurate to say I'm bisexual. It's not something I've ever sought out or even thought about much since, although it certainly doesn't bother me at all and I'd never 100% rule out getting off with/dating another woman at some point in my life, but it's not something I expect to happen either.

So yeah, I think there's not much to be gained from judging what people describe their own sexuality as, and it definitely shouldn't have to be an official barometer of which variety of moist clammy bits they've mashed their own moist clammy bits up against at any point in their life.

[machotrouts]

I also find it very attractive when men aren't afraid to do things that might make them look gay. Like SUCKING my DICK

[thenoise]

The conservative christian demographic aren't going to be listening to Ariana Grande anyway, with her suggestive lyrics and dancing and indecent clothes. They have their own parallel pop artists, radio networks and Billboard chart.

I think that pop videos are an acceptable form of titillation in states that ban/censor pornography, for example.  or very delusional people can persuade themselves that they are enjoying a 'good wholesome girl' and not getting off on her teenage curves.  Do you think it benefited Britney Spears to claim she was going to wait until she was married before having sex?  or Jessica Simpson?  Etc?  or for Destiny's Child to claim to pray before they go on stage to perform their risqué songs and dance move (presumably not asking forgiveness)?