Author Topic: Things guaranteed to make you abandon a podcast within the first five minutes  (Read 2590 times)

Gotta be Matt Christman.
that was my guess too

Oh, and Iain MacIntosh.

Used to do the Guardian football podcast. I’d genuinely delete the episode as soon as his name was announced as being a guest. Can’t stand the man, and will expand upon my reasons if pushed.

Expand upon your reasons.

I'm pushing you.

FerriswheelBueller

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Expand upon your reasons.

I'm pushing you.

To put it briefly - he’s a fucking wally. I danced a jig the day he announced he was fucking off that podcast to do something else. I’m holding back my dislike and will give you the abridged reasoning below:

Rebadges twitter arguments as his own cunning and incisive points, and folds immediately when questioned. Interrupts others to say nothing of value. Uses the word “banter” without irony. Impressive lack of self awareness. Vocal delivery of a small child impersonating John Motson. Thinks mentioning Football Manager at every opportunity (and indeed, no opportunity at all) is #ClassicBantz and mega lolz. Tries to get by on his natural wit, but that’s like me trying to drive downhill in a car with no wheels.

And through it all, he thinks he’s hilarious. He’s like a friend of a friend at the pub who turns up occasionally and you just think “oh no - this evening is ruined” before it has even started.

See if you can find some of the Grauniad football podcasts they put out during the off season in ~2016/17 and marvel at his scope and delivery. He’s like Alan Partridge, but 10 years younger, and less genuine/engaging.

Hosts trying too hard to be funny is the one for me. I have abandoned many a podcast forever after a couple of minutes if there are too many in-jokes, wacky comments or bantz. The other one is too long a pre-amble. I gave up on WTF for that reason and I always skip through podcasts that have too much waffle at the start, except for Adam Buxton where the waffle is still entertaining

"What have you been up to this week?" If it isn't directly related to the subject of the podcast, I don't care. Do your friends' catch-up before you start recording, please.

Also, post-recorded intros that go, "This was a great interview, we talked about x, y, z..." (I'm more likely to just skip past this than abandon the whole thing, though)

Chapo Trap House was actually my prime example of skipping a podcast within a few minutes. Thought I choose a subject that seemed related; so had to do with the UK election and the DUP. Having a bunch of American's with no direct interest in Northern Ireland then going on about how the IRA were a GBOL in a misguided attempt to display how awful the DUP are, fighting the good fight, brave heroes felt like I had been transported to a NORAID fundraising campaign pre 9-11, with some student types trying to be all cool and ingratiate themselves.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Unfunny people trying far too hard to be funny is definitely the worst podcast crime as far as I'm concerned. Just talk about whatever it is you're there to talk about, you don't have to force laboured jokes into the conversation.

I really can't stand people who think you can only talk about crappy but fun pop culture with a heavy dose of smirking irony. Take the piss by all means, but if that's all you're going to do then it quickly becomes incredibly tiresome.

Chart Music gets the balance right, they take the piss when it's warranted but they also talk seriously and sincerely about things. It also helps that the people who present CM are genuinely witty.

dr beat

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All the CMP contributors more than totally know their stuff too. I've genuinely learnt a lot from Taylor Parkes and Neil Kulkarni for example who can pick out some very fine grained musical observations.

For me any podcaster who doesn't have that level of analytical skill and simply describes what happens in a tv show or a film is a turn off. Not mentioning names but there are a few podcasts which I've lost patience with when it became clear the presenters had little background knowledge and were reading off IMDB and suchlike.

the

I've never really got into 'podcasts' - apart from Athletico Mince.

They all seem so smug. Are they all unbearably smug?

This is my feeling too.

Earlier someone posted this in the comedy podcasts thread:

I've only listened to a few episodes but I'm absolutely loving Punch Up The Jam. Miel Bredouw and Demi Adejuyigbe (writer on The Good Place) attempt to improve popular songs by adding their own spin to "improve" them. I started with the Sk8er Boi episode and was amazed at how good their version was, it was hilarious and beautifully put together.

So I thought "that sounds like a good premise for a podcast", and went to experimentally dip my toe in.

The first thing that comes out of my speakers is this

That's just a fucking noise. Are you really that funny? No you're fucking not.

Nevertheless, I spun on to the bit where they make their version of the tune. And it's disintegrated by having one of them LAUGHING REACTING all over it. Dumbed shit.

FerriswheelBueller

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This is my feeling too.

Earlier someone posted this in the comedy podcasts thread:

So I thought "that sounds like a good premise for a podcast", and went to experimentally dip my toe in.

The first thing that comes out of my speakers is this

That's just a fucking noise. Are you really that funny? No you're fucking not.

Nevertheless, I spun on to the bit where they make their version of the tune. And it's disintegrated by having one of them LAUGHING REACTING all over it. Dumbed shit.

You may just have an issue with “talky” non-written podcasts. I know I do. They are difficult to pull off, but sound easy so lots of people attempt them but they probably shouldn’t.

Can I recommend Caliphate as a podcast to listen to? It is excellent - a journalistic deep-dice into ISIS. Scripted, but fascinating.

In terms of written podcasts, try A Very Fatal Murder which is very funny and sharp, and you can get through the whole thing in an hour or so. It is worth your time.

For the talky improvised ones, try The Adventure Zone. It has a bit of structure that becomes more obvious as it goes on, but these things depend on you liking the hosts so it’s harder to gauge.

machotrouts

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I was deeply affronted the first time I heard a podcast with an advert in it. I think it was 'Welcome to Night Vale' (my vague impression: Blue Jam for children?) and the first couple of minutes was a guy talking about a really nice comfy pair of socks. I thought, I don't understand this, it must be a bit more abstract and weird than I thought, that's cool, but then I googled it and it was just actual socks? Christ! DELETE.

I see people reference podcast ads a lot so I guess this must be common? I don't think I can tolerate it. It seems so intrusive. That's going directly into my ears. It's fine somehow beaming from a TV and passing through a bit of air first, but eurgh, I let you inside my head. How dare you abuse that privilege to erect a market stall for socks all up in my meatus.

I was deeply affronted the first time I heard a podcast with an advert in it.

I don't get it. What's affronting about someone trying to make a living entertaining people?

Lost Oliver

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Not the thread to ask but... can you anyone recommend a good film podcast? One were they talk about non-hollywood stuff and foreign or old shit? Everything I've seen on Spotify just seems to be a mixture of the above. The Guardian Film Show was amazing at the time, am after something like that.

"What have you been up to this week?" If it isn't directly related to the subject of the podcast, I don't care. Do your friends' catch-up before you start recording, please.

I opened the thread to post this one.  I don't remember which podcast it was, maybe The Flop House which I usually quite like, but recently I found myself skipping through about 15-20 minutes of off-topic catch-up chat at the start of the episode and got so annoyed I just gave up and turned the thing off.

I also hate constant improv comedy "bits" interrupting worthwhile chat about the main topic at hand.  Occasionally they can be funny but most of the time I just find them grating and think 'please stop this rubbish, unnecessarily LOUD improv tangent and get back to properly discussing (movie/game/murderer)'.

Petey Pate

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Was listening to this yesterday and about midway through you can hear a cat loudly meowing in the background, which the podcasters completely ignore and make no reference to.

http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/shabcast-23-part-2-new-atheism-is-the-opium-of-misogynists-islamophobes-and-imperialists/

In part 1 of that episode, I did almost bail out after 5 minutes as the host kept talking about how he would 'edit this bit out', but fortunately the ensuing conversation about Mike Judge's Idiocracy was interesting enough.

Neomod

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Not the thread to ask but... can you anyone recommend a good film podcast? One were they talk about non-hollywood stuff and foreign or old shit? Everything I've seen on Spotify just seems to be a mixture of the above. The Guardian Film Show was amazing at the time, am after something like that.

The Projection Room was recommended on here and there's some good stuff on there. I think their Beyond the Valley of the Dolls episode ran to 5 hours. I was delighted to see they did an episode on Deep End.

St_Eddie

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I just gave up on listening to a podcast titled 'World Class Bullshitters' (primarily a movie based podcast).

My patience was already waning when they kept waffling on about bloody superhero movies (a genre that I largely have no interest in and am greatly annoyed by, in terms of its ubiquity in cinema).   The secondhand embarrassment was off the charts when the artery clogged sounding, most likely middle-aged host (who goes by the handle of 'Boba Jeff' - urgh) kept talking about the latest additions to his action figure collection, uncannily like something off Red Letter Media's 'Nerd Crew' (sample dialogue: "I just got my Han Solo and Beverly Hill Cop action figures.  So cool!").

I finally snapped and turned it off when the pathetic man-children started talking about the movie Black Panther and its award nominations.  Here's the genuine conversion that had me finally hitting the stop button...

HOST 1: "Black Panther is a great movie.  My problem isn't the movie, it's the culture surrounding it."

HOST 2: "I did my part.  I saw the movie.  I brought the Blu-Ray and I got my Black Panther action figure."

HOST 1: "I'm proud of you."

HOST 2: "But why is this movie up for a Golden Globe when the Infinity War film did not get one!  Look, Infinity War was a much better movie in every aspect.  It's all about the narrative.  With Black Panther, people brought into the hype.  If you liked the movie, fine.  More power to you but to tell yourself that it was better than Infinity War, or The Winter Soldier, or The Dark Knight, stuff like that, you're fucking crazy.

HOST 1: "Yeah."

HOST 2: "I say this all the time.  Everyone has opinions but opinions can be fucking wrong and this is an example of that.  Black Panther is a good movie, I like it but it does not have the emotional depth of Civil War, or The Winter Soldier.  It doesn't have the kind of social commentary that Civil War or The Dark Knight has."

That was the point where I turned the podcast off and moved it to the recycling bin (after transcribing the above conversation).  Imagine being a grown arse man and thinking that a dumb superhero movie is the pinnacle of art and contains deep social commentary.  Fuck's sake.

I feel like I need to take a shower.

I also hate constant improv comedy "bits" interrupting worthwhile chat about the main topic at hand.  Occasionally they can be funny but most of the time I just find them grating and think 'please stop this rubbish, unnecessarily LOUD improv tangent...

I'm a big fan of the 'We Hate Movies' podcast but they have a bad habit of going off on the sort of improv comedy "bits" to which you refer.  I too find it to be tiresome, by and large.

...and get back to properly discussing (movie/game/murderer)'.

Heh.  You listen to podcasts about the exact same topics as myself.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2019, 03:28:28 PM by St_Eddie »

I'm a big fan of the 'We Hate Movies' podcast but they have a bad habit of going off on the sort of improv comedy "bits" to which you refer.  I too find it to be tiresome, by and large.

Yes I've enjoyed their podcast plenty of times in the past and have probably laughed at some of their improv, but nowadays whenever I check an episode out I find myself very quickly growing tired of that one guy's constant need to shoehorn his Trump impression into the proceedings.

St_Eddie

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Yes I've enjoyed their podcast plenty of times in the past and have probably laughed at some of their improv, but nowadays whenever I check an episode out I find myself very quickly growing tired of that one guy's constant need to shoehorn his Trump impression into the proceedings.

Yes!  That bloody Trump impression of his is in every episode these days!

FerriswheelBueller

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NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour does this to obnoxious levels. One of the contributors writes academic textbooks on superman or something, and they smugly hate everything. It is genuinely unlistenable.

BeardFaceMan

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"Hello, my guests this week are TJ Miller and Pete Holmes..."

Anyone who Joe Rogan has told - you should start a podcast.

thecuriousorange

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An Australian accent.

I've never even listened to a podcast, I've watched them with audio, but never listened to one.

I have to say - improv in general.
Look, when it's done by people who can actually be funny, it can be great. But it seems like a crutch nowadays for mediocre knobs with "comedy" podcasts. For example, I used to listen to Worst Episode Ever until about 25% of every episode was taken up with their zany characters. JUST TALK ABOUT JOCKEY ELVES NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT "BITS".

a duncandisorderly

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+1 kermode & mayo reading out their fan-mail.

but herring.... RHLSTP.... attempting to pronounce that. his ten minute intros.

but mostly the hand-held mics. the protagonists are seated throughout. floor-stands or tie-clips please, not manky old SM58s which have to be held, preventing the exact sort of expansive gestures comedians are expected to make from time to time. fuck's sake.

BritishHobo

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I think I've been spoiled by Ian Boldsworth when it comes to podcasts. Everything he's done has been well-edited and incredibly tight. Peacock and Gamble is the peak of this - there's not a fuckin second wasted in any of them. Every bit of them is funny. Whenever I try to get into other podcasts now, they always feel so flabby. As others have pointed out, you don't have to leave in every awkward snatch of conversation, or joke that doesn't land.

I just can't keep up with most podcasts, and most popular ones are so enormous that I can't be fucked. Three hundred episodes, each one two hours long. Where fuck do you start?

FerriswheelBueller

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I just can't keep up with most podcasts, and most popular ones are so enormous that I can't be fucked. Three hundred episodes, each one two hours long. Where fuck do you start?

I’m not reposting this in a passive-aggressive way, I just genuinely like all of these podcasts and want to recommend them for people feeling a bit overwhelmed.

They are FerrisApprovedTM so you know they’re good shit

Quote
Can I recommend Caliphate as a podcast to listen to? It is excellent - a journalistic deep-dive into ISIS. Scripted, but fascinating.

In terms of written podcasts, try A Very Fatal Murder which is very funny and sharp, and you can get through the whole thing in an hour or so. It is worth your time.

For the talky improvised ones, try The Adventure Zone. It has a bit of structure that becomes more obvious as it goes on, but these things depend on you liking the hosts so it’s harder to gauge.

I agree with the previous. Smug, unfunny dullards and off you go. I can’t remember if it was on here or not but it was explained to me once that Daniel Kitson doing theatre shows was the worst thing ever for comedy because of the legion of immitators he spawned; people who could write an perform a functional 3 star theatre piece suddenly decided that they could be funny, seemingly unaware of the fact that despite both involving standing on a stage and talking for 2 hours theatre and comedy are both very different beasts and Kitson is very good at the former and a genuine genius at the latter.

Same with podcasts. If I give one a go and hear a drama school types falsely bent double, creasing at their own non-jokes then off it goes in a minute. That Dad Wrote A Porno is one example. Off.

And anything vaguely lifestyle with a BBC branding. In fact any BBC podcast apart from World Football Phone In which doesn’t count as it’s a radio show. BBC shouldn’t make podcasts IMHO. It’s same argument as why they shouldn’t have a tent venue in Edinburgh. Can’t fully explain why but i do believe it to be true.

Chollis

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When their mouth is too close to the mic or something and you can hear the saliva swishing around in their mouths urrrgggghhh