Author Topic: Last year of my 20s  (Read 1399 times)

MoonDust

  • Member
  • **
  • I ALWAYS WENT TO THE CIRCUS AS A CHILD
Last year of my 20s
« on: April 12, 2019, 04:12:06 PM »
Turned 29 today. The twilight of youth. The pre-dawn light of middle age not quite appearing over the horizon, which is turning grey. The 30s are close upon me; a netherworld between young and old.

What can I expect now I'm in the 30th year of my time on this planet? What are some things you did before you were 30 that I most likely won't do? What can I expect from my aging body? I already have to push when I shit.

Cheers.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2019, 04:16:10 PM »
Dead soon

Mister Six

  • Half-masted, bass-boosted, sling-backed
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2019, 04:18:38 PM »
On the one hand, this is where you actually realise whose you are as a person and some of the paranoia and insecurity of your twenties fades. The issue now is accepting who you are, now you're in a position to know. Also you don't have to pretend to enjoy clubbing any more.

However, your body is really going to feel the strain in a few years, so fucking sort out your exercise routine and diet now. Ease yourself in gently and don't just start running 50 miles on a couple of stalks of celery every day, but do put in some elbow grease now. Bit of regular swimming, a light jog, some light weight work (just careful for your back) and slowly up the ante.

Also, learn how to moisturise. And use suncream. Your telomeres are getting towards fuckedness and your body will need the help. Don't forget handcream!

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2019, 04:20:38 PM »
[tag]Best wishes from all the lads on the Ark Royal![/tag]

MoonDust

  • Member
  • **
  • I ALWAYS WENT TO THE CIRCUS AS A CHILD
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2019, 04:48:14 PM »
On the one hand, this is where you actually realise whose you are as a person and some of the paranoia and insecurity of your twenties fades. The issue now is accepting who you are, now you're in a position to know. Also you don't have to pretend to enjoy clubbing any more.

However, your body is really going to feel the strain in a few years, so fucking sort out your exercise routine and diet now. Ease yourself in gently and don't just start running 50 miles on a couple of stalks of celery every day, but do put in some elbow grease now. Bit of regular swimming, a light jog, some light weight work (just careful for your back) and slowly up the ante.

Also, learn how to moisturise. And use suncream. Your telomeres are getting towards fuckedness and your body will need the help. Don't forget handcream!

Sounds like torture. Rather be dead soon.


(Thanks for the advice)

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2019, 05:01:54 PM »
Don't let the fact that 85% of people are doing their life job by the age of 30 put you off trying something new.  Nor let it give you a false sense of job security.  I had a proper career at 29, was fucked over by my (ex)girlfriend, had my first drug experiences in my early 30s, jacked it all in to get married to my lovely wife and work in a cafe.  Don't confuse age with stability in life.  or assume that you will automatically make better decisions, for that matter.

P.S. You will get fat and look like shit by 40 unless you put in an incredible amount of effort not to.

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2019, 05:03:50 PM »
What? I thought getting pissed off and changing career was pretty normal these days

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2019, 05:06:23 PM »
Fucks sake.

I was 29 in the last bloody millennium!

Young whippersnapper. Get off my lawn!

shiftwork2

  • Member
  • **
  • pies this is your time
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2019, 05:28:40 PM »
Hurtling towards a suffocating painful death.  Until then it’s total futility.

alright cheers

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2019, 05:31:37 PM »
It was my birthday also today, been in the doghouse all week and all it took to get out of it was to be born on this day, piece of piss. Godspeed Moondust, godspeed.

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2019, 05:33:48 PM »
Turned 29 today. The twilight of youth. The pre-dawn light of middle age not quite appearing over the horizon, which is turning grey. The 30s are close upon me; a netherworld between young and old.

What can I expect now I'm in the 30th year of my time on this planet? What are some things you did before you were 30 that I most likely won't do? What can I expect from my aging body? I already have to push when I shit.

Cheers.

I've got stretch marks older than you, you young cunt.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2019, 08:05:36 PM »
jacked it all in to get married to my lovely wife

You were already married to her?  Sounds like you lost your mind if anything.

canadagoose

  • Member
  • **
  • But most of all... you got love technique
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2019, 08:09:35 PM »
Oh, you sweet summer child. What I wouldn't give to be 29 again... those free, stressless days of my youth. I'm 30

I'm not sure what you should do, to be honest. Get a railcard? I can't advise about health stuff like shitting as my health is shit (relatively). Maybe try jumping about a bit for no reason.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2019, 08:16:45 PM »
Yes I do think you’ll look back on this thread and laugh that you perceived 30 as a grand old age.

In truth it is as young as all fuck.

Malcy

  • This is a Post Office isn't it?
    • Twitter
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2019, 08:19:28 PM »
It's the last month that's a fucker.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #15 on: April 12, 2019, 08:27:57 PM »
You don't really gain sustained consciousness until about 18, so it's actually like being about 11/60.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #16 on: April 12, 2019, 08:34:45 PM »
You don't really gain sustained consciousness until about 18 39, so it's actually like being about 11/60.

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2019, 08:37:02 PM »
You don't really gain sustained consciousness until about 18 yesterday, so it's actually like being about 11/60.

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2019, 11:52:35 PM »
What can I expect now I'm in the 30th year of my time on this planet?

cheese... bells... a small fine... disappointment... model villages... ingrowing toenails... the usual

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #19 on: April 12, 2019, 11:56:52 PM »
don't just start running 50 miles on a couple of stalks of celery every day

no, you want trainers for that, arf arf!

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2019, 12:00:45 AM »
oh, and happy birthday! to you and bazooka

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #21 on: April 13, 2019, 12:26:48 AM »
Happy birthday, OP!

I turn 30 in just over a week; I've spent the last few months agonising about all the mental/mind-expanding experiences I should be cramming into these last few precious moments of lissom dewy-skinned youthful bliss, then not doing them, and convincing myself I'm a massive embarrassing loser/failure and it's too late to redeem myself.

However, I'm also really fucking tired all the time, so in the last few weeks of my 20s I've mainly just been going to work and coming home after work and reading books and eating crap food and scrolling though dating apps without messaging anyone, just like usual, and I actually feel weirdly Zen about it all. (Or Hygge, or whatever the kids say these days.)

I think 29 has been a bit of a nondescript age for me, so the idea that this should be some kind of hedonistic last hurrah just seems a bit ridiculous. The being tired thing is no fucking joke though. I don't know if it's solely age-related, but I don't recall being genuinely excited about not having to set an alarm way back in the candy-coloured mists of my mid-20s. So my advice is, get lots of sleep this year, then you can bound into your 30s like an irrepressible sexy Labrador.

Also, I'm pretty sure it's normal to push a bit when you shit, otherwise surely it's just falling out yer bum. #justsaying

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #22 on: April 13, 2019, 12:05:23 PM »
Yeah, if anything I’d say that drastic aging makes a person shit themselves more liberally.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #23 on: April 13, 2019, 03:11:52 PM »
Happy Birthday, Moonie! It's all downhill from now Here's to the future!

Twit 2

  • In the boneyard of dreams
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2019, 12:14:44 AM »
I’m 35 this year and I’m done. All this, “Ach, that’s no age” is bollocks. I’ve lived a lot of life, I was jaded at 25, I was an outright nihilistic bore at 30 and now I shock myself with how little I want and expect from life. On Friday I went for a walk in the fields, found an excellent tree in some bushes and just sat against its trunk for ages, until I realised how weird it would look if someone saw me. I’d only got a couple of fields in on the return journey before, similarly, I just sat down for a while. Trouble is, a tractor was in the next field and could see over the hedge, I’m just a bloke sitting down in a field for no reason, but I’m committed now - if I get up it would look weird emerging like that - so I try and stay behind this little weird bush/mini-tree thing, moving around on my hands and knees as the tractor moves so that I’m always concealed, always at the right angle. Thing is, this is madder than just getting up - Christ knows what he thinks of me scrabbling around - so I just get up - fuck it - and walk away. Today I’m in Cornwall, spent last night explaining in great detail to my parents that the world is completely fucked and climate catastrophe is around the corner. Went for a 14 mile walk - enjoy it while I can - along coast, down lanes, over fields. Blisters on my feet. Didn’t even really enjoy it. So what have I got to look forward to at 40? A promotion? Fuck off.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #25 on: April 16, 2019, 12:55:53 AM »
I'm sorry I only just saw this thread as I turned 40 the same day as the OP turned 29 so in short, my advice is GET LOST YOU INFANT.

No seriously though, don't worry about it, at least the first few years of your 30s are pretty much the same as your 20s so they have time to bed in. One thing though; when I turned 30 and was lamenting it, someone said "if you think your 20s went fast, just see how fast your 30s go." and they were absolutely right. Despite apparently only being 1 year too old to be a Millennial (1980 is the generally quoted kick off point) I still feel about 954 whenever I hear the term as it describes a generation half of who grew up as differently to me as mine did to our parents. I guess it's just symptomatic of how quickly technology has changed the world in the last 2-3 decades but it's a decidedly odd time to be roughly mid 30s to mid 40s as we're the narrow age group who didn't grow up with the internet and all that it's brought but were still young enough to quickly absorb it into our lives completely, and en masse, and our grasp (or not) of it all now is the main thing that puts us either side of the line.

non capisco

  • A+ in arson class
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #26 on: April 16, 2019, 01:17:26 AM »
If you have a good relationship with your parents in your early 30s savour every moment of their relative good health when you're with them. My lovely old ma has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers and, you know, we're dealing with it as best we can. But little things like looking at a text she sent me five months ago feels like someone has tied an anvil onto my heart. It's early stages still but my mum is about as capable as sending a coherent text message to me today as I am capable of walking on my bedroom ceiling.

I said WALKING on my bedroom ceiling, you dirty old bollocks.

Twit 2

  • In the boneyard of dreams
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #27 on: April 16, 2019, 01:20:32 AM »

That sounds shit. The only consolation of having a terrible childhood is not minding too much when your parents die.

Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #28 on: April 16, 2019, 02:01:52 AM »
I was still going out to clubs and pubs at 29. Everything was going fine and I didn't feel old going into places full of students or early 20s folk.

Then in my 30th year, out of nowhere I suddenly began to see anyone under 25 as kids. I'd go out to bars and think to myself "those lads must still be in school" It just felt shit and like I was a dad picking up my kids from a school disco. I didn't look any different but they did, completely changed my social life.

I haven't felt any physical changes. When I got my first grey hair I panicked for second but then I felt a calm reassurance that life is futile and we're all dying so it doesn't matter.


As for my social life, I now hang out at over 50s singles nights so I can feel young again.

Cashback!


« Last Edit: April 16, 2019, 02:13:07 AM by Dr Sanchez »

EditGlitch Removal Person

  • 'Happy to help!'
Re: Last year of my 20s
« Reply #29 on: April 16, 2019, 08:33:41 AM »
Happiness ti help