Author Topic: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker  (Read 8805 times)

mothman

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2019, 06:41:52 PM »

Blumf

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2019, 06:52:45 PM »
"The Force Awakens" "The Last Jedi" "The Rise Of Skywalker"???

That doesn't make sense! It should have been "Star Wars ep IX: His Afternoon Nap".

Nowhere Man

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2019, 07:02:01 PM »
calling the movie The Rise of Skywalker won't stop Luke being dead though will it?

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2019, 07:56:25 PM »
calling the movie The Rise of Skywalker won't stop Luke being dead though will it?

Maybe Abrams will retcon it somehow. I mean they're bringing back Emperor Palpatine, I guess that could be in ghost form but he wouldn't be that threatening if he can't actually touch anyone and just goes around whispering swear words in people's ears. Either way it's a shit title, but I'll still no doubt see it at the cinema because I'm an idiot.

Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2019, 08:23:02 PM »
Still time for the Rancor trainer to return in this?

mothman

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2019, 08:53:19 PM »
I retcon him as being Ralph Brown’s character from Phantom Menace.

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2019, 08:59:26 PM »
Star Wars Episode IX:  The Constant Family

Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2019, 09:07:57 PM »
The latest in a long line of Star Wars films that has a better title than A New Hope.

thecuriousorange

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2019, 09:36:57 PM »
I honestly thought it was called Rise of The Skywalker.

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2019, 09:44:07 PM »
Walk of the Skyriser

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2019, 09:48:11 PM »
The culmination of nine films and a forty-two year old franchise.

Bound to be a letdown, isn't it?

thecuriousorange

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2019, 09:49:33 PM »
I bet they'll retcon the last one with a scene where Palpatine says "Snoke was actually me the whole time". I bet if Liam Neeson hadn't been cancelled he would have got a ghost cameo too.

mothman

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2019, 09:58:34 PM »
Ends with a scene where they're ALL Force Ghosts, all going "Fucking Threepio?! We never saw that coming! Who would have thought all thoise droids would just turn on us, they were always just... there, you know? But See-bloody-Threepio, the ringleader? Mind. Blown. That rolling dustbin cunt mate of his, yeah, wouldn't have surprised me if HE had been behind it all, but no, it was that prissy golden twat..."

Funcrusher

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2019, 10:33:17 PM »
Did she get Jedi training from Brucie? She seems to be doing his crouching thing.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #15 on: April 12, 2019, 10:47:15 PM »
This'll be shit widely seen, I reckon

Shaky

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #16 on: April 12, 2019, 11:16:06 PM »
calling the movie The Rise of Skywalker won't stop Luke being dead though will it?

Luke says, "No-one's ever really gone" so I bet he technically stays deceased but fully manifests as a Force Ghost or whatever. Something so they can have their cake and eat it, anyway.

kalowski

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2019, 11:21:26 PM »
The culmination of nine films and a forty-two year old franchise.

Bound to be a letdown, isn't it?
Maybe
But I'll watch it.

non capisco

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2019, 11:38:11 PM »
Bring back that thing with bollocks for a mouth that gets mardy with Luke Skywalker in the bar during the first one.



This cunt. Pictured here getting into a tear up with ahaha none other than Jeremy Corbyn tee hee!!!


Neomod

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #19 on: April 12, 2019, 11:49:57 PM »
Apparently this one starts with a 20 minute flashback of Luke filling in the form to change his name from Starkiller to Skywalker in Mos Eisley council's One Stop Shop.

Glebe

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2019, 01:44:56 AM »
I was curiously unimpressed by that tease. And bringing Palapine back... I dunno.

Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #21 on: April 13, 2019, 02:04:16 AM »
There’s absolutely nothing visually new in that. They’re all wearing the same clothes and everything.

Kelvin

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #22 on: April 13, 2019, 02:33:07 AM »
There’s absolutely nothing visually new in that. They’re all wearing the same clothes and everything.

I think you've find the TIE Fighter had a few orange bits this time.

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #23 on: April 13, 2019, 02:50:14 AM »
You can briefly see Kylo fighting one of the Knights of Ren, so it seems there are two separate factions of baddies in this one. I suppose that's how we get Kylo's redemption.

TwinPeaks

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #24 on: April 13, 2019, 03:54:57 AM »
Bring back that thing with bollocks for a mouth that gets mardy with Luke Skywalker in the bar during the first one.

You actually see him with his mate in Rogue One. Was that not the CGI resurrection-of-a-beloved-actor thing everyone was on about


Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #25 on: April 13, 2019, 06:24:17 AM »
The culmination of nine films and a forty-two year old franchise.

Bound to be a letdown, isn't it?

...or alternatively, some random nostalgia action thrown together on the back of a napkin.

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #26 on: April 13, 2019, 06:32:37 AM »
...or alternatively, some random nostalgia action thrown together on the back of a napkin.

Yes, it's all got annoying self-referential.

Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #27 on: April 13, 2019, 06:46:10 AM »
There’s absolutely nothing visually new in that. They’re all wearing the same clothes and everything.

To expand on this: one of my favourite things about Empire is the way it inverts the visuals of the first film. We go from desert planets to snow. The first film is really orange and the second one is really blue. It's simple but it's neat!

And like people wear different clothes.

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #28 on: April 13, 2019, 06:54:18 AM »
It's because Abrams has outdone himself in his nostalgia-milking. Now, instead of relying on nostalgia for the originals, he wants to make you feel nostalgic for the last couple of Star Wars films.


Honestly, the man would try to stir up nostalgia for yesterday's breakfast if he could.

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Re: Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker
« Reply #29 on: April 13, 2019, 09:10:00 AM »
If there isn’t even a star war in this film I will feel mighty let down, let me assure you.