Star Wars ep IX: The Rise Of Skywalker

[Blumf]

You never hear about Star Peace, do you?

Emperor Palpatine did receive the Nobel Peace prize.

[Ferris]

Haven't seen this yet, is it worth bothering with? I quite liked the new ones but simultaneously think they're a bit shit.

This sounds like an intentionally inflammatory post, but isn't. Sorry.

[popcorn]

Overwhelming consensus here is that it's quite shit.

[Ferris]

So it's a "wait until it's on Netflix and half pay attention but don't go out your way to see it" sort of job? That's what I assumed but good to have confirmation,

[popcorn]

I'd say it's more "never fucking bother with it at all unless you find it sort of fun and interesting on its own terms to see how much they bollocksed up Star Wars again which I personally find quite fun and interesting".

[Ferris]

Yeah that's about the same tier. Good to know, thanks.

[momatt]

although Disney I will say that if you're relying on novelisations to plug up plot holes in your movies, MAYBE HIRE BETTER WRITERS AND EDITORS?

This.
Though you could argue that the Emperor returning doesn't need explaining to enjoy the film, I did spend the film thinking that I had missed something.  It just seems like such a huge thing - one of the biggest and most important characters in the series of films dies and comes back to life 30 years later.  With no real explanation at all.  Just a bit mad.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

They announced his return during a Fortnite event, because Star Wars is for stupid children with access to their parents' credit cards.

[momatt]

They announced his return during a Fortnite event, because Star Wars is for stupid children with access to their parents' credit cards.

Not exclusively.  Don't forget blokes in their 30s-40s who don't want to let go of their childhood and collect toys.

You must care a bit about it though.  Otherwise, what are you doing now?

[greenman]

Haven't seen this yet, is it worth bothering with? I quite liked the new ones but simultaneously think they're a bit shit.

This sounds like an intentionally inflammatory post, but isn't. Sorry.

I suspect this will play up the "bit shit" aspect of the new ones for you.

[idunnosomename]

I am fascinated by how disney paid a billion dollars to make up their own star wars sequels and how bad they fucked it up

I guess they made a profit in the end but not as much as they couldve done

[ZoyzaSorris]

Yes, essentially it turn out it was a load of loud, garish, incoherent tripe. Maybe someone can pick them up again and have another go in another twenty years when Abrams-school glib content-free sass is out of vogue (ready for the sixtieth anniversary of the originals?). Or maybe Star Wars should have been and still is just three patchy but beautifully sculpted films with amazing visual and sound design back in the seventies and early eighties.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I feel let down by Ep IX because while VII was patchy VIII did something different and interesting and I was excited to see the next installment. And then... Well, most of the time I usually enjoy a movie on first viewing and only spot the plotholes/shitness when I think about it afterwards. Rise of Skywalker joins Transformers 2, Star Trek Into Darkness and A Million Ways to Die in the West as a movie I realised was shit while watching it in the cinema.

Now some people do like it from a 'turn off your brain and accept the magical coincidences as Star Wars being Star Wars" point of view. Personally I consider it not just a bad Star Wars film but a bad film in general.

[greenman]

I am fascinated by how disney paid a billion dollars to make up their own star wars sequels and how bad they fucked it up

I guess they made a profit in the end but not as much as they couldve done

With Marvel and Pixar I'd say they benefit from having people with at least some artistic integrity heavily involved in the decision making, Lucas being so dominant seems like it meant when he left it was just money men and technical people at Lucasfilm. Hiring Abrams was IMHO the short term profit move, get a fast return on the investment ASAP rather than going with someone a bit more ambition who might have taken another year or two.

Really they should have seen what was happening to Trek, that Abrams emopty "sass" style only lasted for one film before fans turned against it.

[kalowski]

Not exclusively.  Don't forget blokes in their 30s-40s who don't want to let go of their childhood and collect toys.

You must care a bit about it though.  Otherwise, what are you doing now?

[idunnosomename]

theres a new RLM video by Jay and Rich Evans making fun of Mike and his thing about Palpatine being a clone but i dont understand it and it's not very interesting. please. no more star wars

[momatt]

theres a new RLM video by Jay and Rich Evans making fun of Mike and his thing about Palpatine being a clone but i dont understand it and it's not very interesting. please. no more star wars

Yeah, that confused me.
Those RLM guys have thought about the sequel plots more than anyone involved with the films.

So many wasted opportunities.

[Fry]

Insane theory from a "leaker" about why this last Star Wars film was such a mess. Apparently Disney intentionally tanked TROS to discourage Warner Bros from hiring JJ Abrams to work on the DC universe. Fearing that a rejuvenated and successful DC cinematic universe would threaten their main cash cow, Marvel. Just doesn't stand up to even a second's thought. The money Disney stood (stands? Is standing?) to make from an incredibly successful new Star Wars trilogy, in merch alone, would be astronomical. Why on earth would they sabotage that on the off chance that DC, a franchise that has died about a thousand box office deaths, would be semi successful? No one likes DC movies!

[mjwilson]

Just dickheads on reddit.

[Wonderful Butternut]

Rise of Skywalker was a bunch of screenwriters having a 143 minute long game of soggy biscuit and then translating that into a movie. They mishandled every. fucking. aspect and any fan theories or subsequent author explanations of the awful clusterfuck that unfolded in front of the audience are bollocks. Or Bollux, even.

Just thought people might like to know that.

[momatt]

It was such a massive mess it is a difficult thing to explain.

How can such a huge project with so many people involved be done wrong in so many ways?
The very first thing any normal person would do is write a rough plot outline of the three films - which they didn't do, failing at the first hurdle.  Absolutely crazy.
I can almost see where the mental conspiracy theorists are coming from.

[idunnosomename]

i suppose it's the opposite of the prequels. that was essentially the work of one man, and probably only had minor plot tweaks (such as lessening the screen presence of Jar Jar Binks) from his original idea. they only maintained box office draw from the gigantic legacy of the original films, but most moviegoers lost interest by the last one.

to avoid the same for the revival, the new owners decided to work to audience reaction to make sure each movie was successful. so you got movies that were too safe, then too contrarian, concluding with a desperate please-everyone mess.

third time lucky?!? or better yet, fucking stop and do something else. i think the idea of launching a new trilogy like they no doubt planned is now very unlikely as basically everyone is going to be "oh no not another shitload of crappy movies". depends on the success of Disney + which they are HAMMERING the publicity for. who knows, might finally sink multiplex cinema as we know it (which is something RLM have been predicting for a couple of years and I do genuinely think is interesting)

[dissolute ocelot]

Insane theory from a "leaker" about why this last Star Wars film was such a mess. Apparently Disney intentionally tanked TROS to discourage Warner Bros from hiring JJ Abrams to work on the DC universe. Fearing that a rejuvenated and successful DC cinematic universe would threaten their main cash cow, Marvel. Just doesn't stand up to even a second's thought. The money Disney stood (stands? Is standing?) to make from an incredibly successful new Star Wars trilogy, in merch alone, would be astronomical. Why on earth would they sabotage that on the off chance that DC, a franchise that has died about a thousand box office deaths, would be semi successful? No one likes DC movies!

More likely that JJ Abrams intentionally tanked it because he's fucked off with all the fanboys and just wants to go back making stuff where Jennifer Garner runs around a lot.

[Jim Bob]

It's weird the way that when you look back on this thread and see mention of disjointed and fundamentally broken plot threads, that have nowhere to go, starting with Episode VIII, it puts in place the fundamentally wonky foundations for the trilogy's conclusion.  It's weird when you see fingers being pointed at the powers that be over at Lucasfilm and for the general lack of oversight, as though the writing was on the wall, years ago now.  It's weird when you see talk of Episode IX being likely to make a billion or less, or close enough, at the box office.  Armchair analysts, what do they know?  It's weird.

Heh heh.

Almost like I knew what the fuck I was talking about this entire time, despite the naysayers.  Vindicated.  Up myself, bitter, pathetic and petty but vindicated all the same!  At least give me that!

[Dex Sawash]

It would have been better if you had been willing to believe,.cunt.


edit- now I've called you a cunt and you've edited the request

[Jim Bob]

It would have been better if you had been willing to believe,.cunt.

To paraphrase Parappa the Rapper; I gotta believe... that I'm a cunt (who was right about Star Wars).

[Jim Bob]

Just to add; I really don't want to argue with people.  It's not my intention.  I'm aware that my previous post was abrasive, yet I hope that it will be taken within the intended context; a post written out of frustration at being told that I was an ill-informed idiot, in so many words, for expressing a well reasoned position, which has ultimately been vindicated. None the less, I'm sure that I have now annoyed and offended everyone for getting sore about a silly space movie, for which I can only apologise.  My Mother would be (even more) disappointed, if only she knew.

[bgmnts]

The last piece of Star Wars content I enjoyed was My Stick by Bad Lip Reading on youtube.

That's not good.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

It's weird the way that when you look back on this thread and see mention of disjointed and fundamentally broken plot threads, that have nowhere to go, starting with Episode VIII, it puts in place the fundamentally wonky foundations for the trilogy's conclusion.  It's weird when you see fingers being pointed at the powers that be over at Lucasfilm and for the general lack of oversight, as though the writing was on the wall, years ago now.  It's weird when you see talk of Episode IX being likely to make a billion or less, or close enough, at the box office.  Armchair analysts, what do they know?  It's weird.

Heh heh.

Almost like I knew what the fuck I was talking about this entire time, despite the naysayers.  Vindicated.  Up myself, bitter, pathetic and petty but vindicated all the same!  At least give me that!

I believe the term was 'armchair accountant' but congrats for predicting that a corporate controlled franchise film would be bad. I wish the rewards were greater than just getting slightly more cachet when dissecting the next piece of Star Wars media at length but that's the name of the game with this sort of thing

[evilcommiedictator]

I might be a cunt but.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQO1qZD5lek