Author Topic: Accidentally cycled through a private road  (Read 829 times)

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

  • the litter bins are for dry paper waste only
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • and are not to be used for shat, piddle, or spew
    • instagram ponce
Accidentally cycled through a private road
« on: April 13, 2019, 04:19:27 PM »
With one of those 'trespassers will be prosecuted' signs and a cctv thingy.

Am I going to The Jail? If so, what do I do in there thanks

Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2019, 04:23:06 PM »
Tattoo the same message to your lower back hoping that making fun of male sexual assault will make you popular "on the inside".

Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2019, 04:29:32 PM »
Ignorance is no excuse in the eye of the Law. Your goin down.

For Life!

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2019, 04:58:44 PM »
I would knife you myself if I were in the same country.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2019, 05:10:04 PM »
They are now allowed down your road, or, if you haven't got a road, tract.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2019, 05:15:17 PM »
Definitely jail. And not white-collar jail, either. It will be a long spell in Strangeways for you. Every day will be a headbutt and/or shiv jousting contest with your fellow trespassers. Until you have all learned your lesson.

This is what your future looks like:



And it serves you right.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2019, 05:17:08 PM »
Ha ha rape

Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2019, 05:27:17 PM »
Ha ha rape

As I said, male rape jokes are the key to popularity in prison.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2019, 05:28:41 PM »
You cannot see any rape in that gif. Could just be horseplay, or general boisterousness.

Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2019, 05:29:39 PM »
that's your arse now mate

Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2019, 05:30:55 PM »
I meant in general now that you've sauntered down a farmer or torys private road then in general thats your arse, something awaits you be it monetary or in hell where you are now destined, I didn't mean in conjunction with the gif of The Hulk getting burst

shiftwork2

  • Member
  • **
  • pies this is your time
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2019, 05:38:59 PM »
You get into a lot of scrapes on your bike.  Have you considered getting roller skates

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2019, 06:50:05 PM »

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2019, 08:10:38 PM »

A bit horrible, that.

Although bicycles don't have licence plates, CCTV can identify any bike from the reams of CCTV data they already have of you.  Especially as your riding style is, according to the official files on the subject, 'characteristic'.  Not to worry, though, you will have at least 48 hours before they process the information and send the police round to bang on your door.  I suggest you use the time wisely.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2019, 10:01:03 PM »

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2019, 10:23:34 PM »
Often wondered how these work - an aunt and uncle of mine live on a private road in a private estate (although the entrance to the estate is not manned or gated like you see in films) and there are signs everywhere saying about trespassers being shot on sight etc (exaggeration for effect) but not once in my lifetime of going there (in my cars, and prior to that my parents' cars, with number plates on full display) have I ever had a fine or the 5-0 turning up at my door at 3 in the morning to arrest me for trespassing.

Methinks the signs are just there for show...

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2019, 10:34:39 PM »
I just ignore these things. Unless im in a man made structure i tell the land owner to sling their hook and 12 bore shotgun - fuckwits

Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2019, 01:09:52 AM »
Top tip on the inside, wear some newspapers/magazines under your shirt, as shank armour.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2019, 01:15:07 AM »
Or just carry a bunch of daily mails and shout Papers!

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Accidentally cycled through a private road
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2019, 09:45:38 AM »
My heart for now is a private road
No thoroughfare, no heavy load
No slow traffic, no graphic details,
Cold or collisions
No more stories to make me ache
I'll always love you venus
Still you are mine
Why'd you have to take so much time
In calling me
Just want to be easy like
Sunday morning
Snow falls in silence and covers the green
Still you can see where the birds have been
Hungry but alive and free, waiting
Waiting