A thread for people to work on their jokes about fingers.

[Fry]

This thread is for people to work on their jokes about fingers. Original material only please. No judgements this is a safe space for people to work on their jokes about finger.

What did one finger say to the other finger?

"I'm in glove with you."

What's a finger's favour band?

Indexy's Midnight Runners

What's a finger's favourite snack?

Cadbury's fingers.

Who are fingers in relationships with?

Their WAGS.

What do a finger and a hedgehog have in common?

They are both a bit pointy.

[Bazooka]

Had sex with a balloon last night, finger banged it hard.

[Norton Canes]

That's a bit near the knuckle

[rasta-spouse]

Setup: Why are fingers great in the modern world of audio?

Punch: Because many radios are digital.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Q: What does a French cinephile say when He's very angry because a film he has been enjoying has finished?
A: " Fin- Grrr ! "

[rasta-spouse]

Did you hear about the guy who insensitively joked about giving his girlfriend a finger ring?

Apparently he was callous/callus.

[Glebe]

What do you call a man with big fingers?

Fingers.

[Replies From View]

There are four of me and a thumb on each of your average human hands, what am I


Yep you guessed it:  finger

[Replies From View]

Knock knock

Who's there

Never mind my whole body, pay attention to just the bit that did the knocking - yep you guessed it:  fingers

Fingers who

NEVER MIND WHO

[Gregory Torso]

I can count the number of fingers I have on one hand.

[Gregory Torso]

Having fingers is certainly a conundrum. On one hand, I have some fingers. On the other hand, I have some fingers.

[Replies From View]

I know the back of my own fingers like I know the back of my own hand - well, part of it at least, specifically the back of my own fingers which I know marginally well I reckon but don't test me on it

(Yep you guessed it:  fingers)

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Q:What did the fish say when it was quite angry with the thin part sticking out of their body that helped them with balance and movement?
A: "Fin-Grrr!"

(Quite similar to my French Cinephile joke, to be perfectly honest.)

[Captain Z]

Why is a finger like a hammer

Because it has a nail on the end

[Replies From View]

What is just enough to give your kids a treat

A finger of fudge, haha!!!

[Replies From View]

I say I say I say, how do fingers differ from toes

I don't know how do fingers differ from toes

Well, they are longer

[Replies From View]

What makes a dog shorter than a spring

Its fingers

[Gregory Torso]

what do you get if you cross a finger with a dog poo?

well, i don't know but i wouldn't want to shake hands with it! I said

[pancreas]

My fingers are all feeling quite oppressed. It's the rule of thumb.

[Glebe]

You've got your fingers in all the threads these days, Fry!

Fingers.

[thecuriousorange]

Knock knock

Who's there?

Open up and see.

OK

*Hand giving middle finger*

[Glebe]

Q: What did Captain Birdseye say?

A: "I didn't know fish had fingers!"

[pancreas]

Apocryphal nonsense. You disgrace the honourable name of Captain Birdseye.

[pancreas]

The wife in a nymphomaniac couple is arrested for shoplifting and the husband goes to find her at the station. The constable asks him what he's doing there.

'Hello officer. I'm here to finger the suspect.'

[Gregory Torso]

Why did the man with ten fingers stink of shit?

Because he couldn't stop picking his anus!

[sponk]

What football match do fingers most enjoy?

Finland vs Germany

[sponk]

What's the best way to contact the finger on the left hand between the middle and little fingers?

Give it a ring

[sponk]

If you were hoping to find information about the fingers between the thumbs and middle fingers on both hands, where would be the best place to look in a book about fingers?

The index

[sponk]

Where can you find a lot of information about dermatoglyphics?

In print

[Gregory Torso]

what is your hands favourite cranberries song?