Author Topic: Big Break Official Thread  (Read 1004 times)

Big Break Official Thread
« on: April 17, 2019, 03:57:33 PM »
Just got reminded of Big Break. Big Break. Ran for eleven motherfucking, christ's-cunting years. Jim Davis and John Virgo cocking a snooker on primetime BBC1 or 2 I forgot.

What are your memories of Big Break?

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2019, 04:01:33 PM »
Little wicker bottle on a snooker table, John Virgo makes a ball go in it and it turns round and then the ball comes out and hits another ball. Riveting television.

Utter Shit

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2019, 04:08:05 PM »
Used to love it back in the day, before I was aware what a cunt Jim Davidson is. Perfect mainstream telly fodder, miles better than the early evening shit they have on on Saturdays now. I also loved the Chinese whispers that went around my playground suggesting that there was some sauciness going on in the voiceover guy's description of the prize winning, with some kids suggesting that "screw the pink" and "pot the brown" had deliberate sexual connotations. No idea if that was true, probably not.

the

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2019, 04:16:29 PM »
Just got reminded of Big Break. Big Break. Ran for eleven motherfucking, christ's-cunting years. Jim Davis and John Virgo cocking a snooker on primetime BBC1 or 2 I forgot.

What are your memories of Big Break?

Well I don't fucking remember the creator of Garfield hosting it

The nasty Tory cousin of Bullseye.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2019, 04:26:27 PM »
The most grey set ever put together for a prime time game show, with a snooker table, and Jim Daviston and Jon Virgon

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2019, 04:28:21 PM »
AND NOW WARREN GREENAWAY WILL TRY THE "TRICK" SHOT OF HIS OWN ACCORD


WILL HE MANAGE THIS IMPOSSIBLE-TO-MISS CHALLENGE


HA WELL DONE BROTHER YOU MANAGED IT


QUICK SCENE-CHANGE MUSIC:  SNOOKERING YOU, SNOOKERING YOU TONIGHT BIG BREAK


ALRIGHT SO NOW IT'S MORE SITTING AROUND ANSWERING QUESTIONS LISTEN UP, WHAT COLOUR OF BALL IS THE ONE YOU HAVE TO HIT WITH YOUR SNOOKER ROD



IS IT WHITE JIM


YES IT IS WHITE, TAKE A SHOT VIRGO


OOOH GOOD ONE



NEXT QUESTION, IN THE GAME OF SNOOKER IS THERE A MAGIC 8 BALL THAT YOU ASK QUESTIONS AND IT FLOATS A THING UP ANSWERING IT



NOPE JIM



CORRECT WELL DONE LET'S LOOK OVER TO THE TABLE AGAIN WHERE VIRGO IS GETTING READY TO SCORE ANOTHER GOAL


YEP HE POTTED IT JUST IN TIME, THE BEEPING NOISE SIGNALS THE END OF THE GO



QUICK SCENE-CHANGE MUSIC:  SNOOKERING YOU, SNOOKERING YOU TONIGHT BIG BREAK

Chollis

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2019, 04:31:51 PM »
Spell casting "S-U-M-M-O-N-J-O-H-N-V-I-R-G-O


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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2019, 05:06:09 PM »
The main thing about Big Break of course is how EVERY CUNT ON EARTH would swiftly go on to misremember the lyrics just to piss you off.

"It's only a game show!"  they would sing.

No!  It isn't!  Fuck off!!

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2019, 05:11:33 PM »
My mum loved it, despite not liking regular snooker, so it was always on.

Pot as many balls as you can, and one of the pro players (can't remember which one) always being really shit and losing are the only things I remember about it.

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2019, 05:17:19 PM »
Virgo has always talked a better game than he's played. A tradition he's carrying through to present day with BBC Snooker commentary.

https://youtu.be/O5WaQA36IoE

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2019, 05:26:47 PM »
Well I don't fucking remember the creator of Garfield hosting it

well HE DID, SO FUCK OFF

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #12 on: April 17, 2019, 06:18:00 PM »
The very epitome of TV shows that owed their success to the fact that it was the 1990's and Netflix hadn't been invented yet and if flicking through the cinema listings on Teletext yielded nothing there was fuck-all else for a family to do on a Saturday night.

I remember when Jim Davidson did the Edinburgh Fringe a couple of years back and did an interview where he whined that it wasn't faaaaaiiiir that his act was no longer successful just because it wasn't fashionable anymore- fuck off Jim, in the 1990's you were king of BBC Light Entertainment for a while, which is more that Stewart Lee ever got, and despite the fact that you were a massive charmless sexist racist.

I also remember one edition of Jim Davidson's Generation Game where he asked one young, female, very glamorous and good-looking contestant what she did for a living and she told him she was a doctor, and his jaw hit the floor as he looked her up and down and said in disbelief: "Wow- you're not a doctor??!!" and she replied with an awkward laugh. Even in my early teens I was dimly aware of how insulting and creepy and charmless that was.

1990's light entertainment. The era of Davidson and Edmonds. Dark days indeed.

Blue Jam

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #13 on: April 17, 2019, 06:23:54 PM »
The nasty Tory cousin of Bullseye.

Awkward laughter at "BFH- Bus Fare Home"  vs awkward laughter at "Pot as many balls as you can".

This could be a whole other thread, but hasn't the BBC always been pretty bad for trying to rip off commercial broadcasters' formats, even though this is something a public service broadcaster really shouldn't be doing? Bullseye ---> Big Break, The X Factor - - - > The Voice, Gladiators - - - > Families At War (sorry Vic and Bob)?

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #14 on: April 17, 2019, 06:31:16 PM »
The very epitome of TV shows that owed their success to the fact that it was the 1990's and Netflix hadn't been invented yet and if flicking through the cinema listings on Teletext yielded nothing there was fuck-all else for a family to do on a Saturday night.

We used to have an argument about who lost the Ritz Video card.

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #15 on: April 17, 2019, 06:34:11 PM »
I'd like to give this a rewatch to find out how it holds up as a show and to see which snooker players turn up on it, but because of the cunt presenting I can't get past the titles sequence.

Blue Jam

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #16 on: April 17, 2019, 06:41:42 PM »
We used to have an argument about who lost the Ritz Video card.

I  left my boring and miserable little home village in North Wales for university in 2000. I moved to London, and into a halls of residence near a video rental shop where the miserable Paul Calf-esque bastard of an owner refused to let any students sign up for membership, but who had let one of my new friends sign up because his family lived in the area and he had signed up just before enrolling as a FILTHY STUDENT.

This guy was the most popular guy in halls- for the first few Saturday nights we'd all turn to him and say "what now?" once the pubs had closed and we needed a film to watch back in someone's room.

After about a month word had got around the wider student village and he started getting random big hard blokes banging on his door at 11pm asking if he was that legendary sole member of the video shop, and if they could please borrow The Hallowed Card. I think he cut it up after that...

It was both a blessing and a burden. Thank fuck for Netflix.

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #17 on: April 17, 2019, 06:44:59 PM »
I  left my boring and miserable little home village in North Wales for university in 2000. I moved to London, and into a halls of residence near a video rental shop where the miserable bastard of an owner refused to let any students sign up for membership, but who had let one of my new friends sign up because his family lived in the area and he had no idea this guy was now a FILTHY STUDENT. This guy was the most popular guy in halls- for the first few weeks we'd all turn to him and say "what now?" once the pubs had closed and we needed a film to watch back in someone's room.

After about a month word had got around and he started getting random big hard blokes banging on his door at 11pm asking if he was that legendary sole member of the video shop, and if they could please borrow The Hallowed Card. I think he cut it up after that...

It was a burden alright. Thank fuck for Netflix.

When I was in a house share someone who was one of the most lazy and ineffectual people I've ever met took out a video membership card from the crap video and tanning booth shop across the road, rented 5 introductory dvd's then simply couldn't be fucked taking them back. Took a letter from a solicitors demanding £250 for that privilege. From what I vaguely remember Blockbusters were pretty toothless with people not returning stuff compared to the independents.

Blue Jam

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #18 on: April 17, 2019, 06:49:02 PM »
I did the free trial of Amazon's DVD rental service back in the day and got fined £20 for not returning Soylent Green after I lost the disc.

I was a member of LOVEFiLM for a while too. DVDs by post, fucking hell that's made me feel old...

Blue Jam

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #19 on: April 17, 2019, 06:53:01 PM »
I'd like to give this a rewatch to find out how it holds up as a show and to see which snooker players turn up on it, but because of the cunt presenting I can't get past the titles sequence.

Me too, I'd love to see which players didn't turn up... and I think Captain Sensible possibly deserves more than to be known as "that bloke who did the Big Break theme, yeah?"

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #20 on: April 17, 2019, 06:54:01 PM »
What makes this thread official?

Blue Jam

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #21 on: April 17, 2019, 06:55:46 PM »
If a reboot was made, with Jim Davidson still hosting, I bet Peter Ebdon and Ali Carter would be well up for it. Both Brexit AF.

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #22 on: April 17, 2019, 06:56:56 PM »
"We need a bigot who's less interesting than Jim Davidson"

Mr Banlon

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2019, 06:59:21 PM »
My ex-wife used to think the words to the theme song was : "We're gonna be snookering you, snookering you, snookering you tonight, STEVE WRIGHT !"

the

Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2019, 07:00:17 PM »
TV shows that owed their success to the fact that it was the 1990's and Netflix hadn't been invented yet

This is the most infuriatingly twatty sentiment I've read for a while, well done.

What makes this thread official?

Madhair is Captain Sensible's mum

Mr Banlon

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2019, 07:02:55 PM »

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2019, 07:04:37 PM »
You're all being sarky but Jim Davidson was funny in it.

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2019, 07:07:11 PM »
You're all being sarky but Jim Davidson was funny in it.

He might be, but I find just looking at the guy offensive.

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2019, 08:21:46 PM »
Nearly as bad as Full Swing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6svRbCgDm8w

I'm not the only one who remembers this then.

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Re: Big Break Official Thread
« Reply #29 on: April 17, 2019, 09:10:37 PM »
I'd like to give this a rewatch to find out how it holds up as a show and to see which snooker players turn up on it, but because of the cunt presenting I can't get past the titles sequence.

SPOILER: all of the top 32 from around 1991-1994