Author Topic: Shows or maybe films where you couldn't buy into the FUNDAMENTAL PREMISE  (Read 3999 times)

mothman

  • I don't know why
Stupidest thing of all, there is a SECOND SERIES of this planned. HOW? Does some kid buy a fucking lathe cutter and start cutting his own flexi disks with recordings of him going "Whoo, I'm dead now, and it's becuase of you gnarr" and his bereaved eskimo grandma fucking skateboards around town like Marty Mcfly frisbeeing records at school kids?

Didn’t see the first season, was never gonna, and don’t need to now, but ^THAT I’d watch.

EDIT: Bollocks new page

Blue Jam

  • We do what we must because we can
13 Reasons Why. A teenage girl decides to kill herself because she is bullied, drug raped, bullied again, raped again, gets called a stupid poo poo head, gets into a car accident, gets beaten up, gets her nudes leaked online and so on, piles and piles of abuse and misery basically with a vape-wave soundtrack or whatev

Before she commits suicide, she records thirteen CASSETTES to give to people as a fuck you from beyond the grave. How long did it take to record thirteen tapes that absolutely no fucker would be able to listen to because they are american teenagers in the year 2018 AND DON'T OWN TAPE PLAYERS. Each tape is 90 minutes, assuming she didn't fill the whole tape though, did she stick some Modest Mouse on the other side or something,. Anyway she then gets a gay latino 35-year-old high school student with ridiculous hair who drives around in a chevy listening to Joy Division to eake out the tapes one by one (along with a tape player so you can fuck you listen to it, of course). It should have been called 13 Tumblr Posts or something, just pass out a link to thirteen different twitter accounts that just call you a cunt for pages and pages.

She emoitonally tortures her only friend from beyond the grave, gay latino dude keeps saying "you have a tape, my dude, hoo boy, get ready becuase you have a tape coming your way, bruv" and then we he gets it its just her going "you're alright, you are alright, i like you urgh" so FUCKING STUPID.
christ, even with the whole incredibly irresponsible "HAY KIDS, are you being BULLIED? why not KILL YOURESELF and make everyone feel BAD" message, would any of her bullies and enemies actually give that much of a shit, they're stupid idiot american grave children with rich parents and Hamptons, whatever the fuck Hamptons are, but they're always going to them, aren't they.

Stupidest thing of all, there is a SECOND SERIES of this planned. HOW? Does some kid buy a fucking lathe cutter and start cutting his own flexi disks with recordings of him going "Whoo, I'm dead now, and it's becuase of you gnarr" and his bereaved eskimo grandma fucking skateboards around town like Marty Mcfly frisbeeing records at school kids?

An Inspector Calls is a load of bollocks too.

Blue Jam

  • We do what we must because we can
If we can do plays too, then seriously: Why does no-one in An Inspector Calls ever say: "What crimes am I supposed to have committed? Am I actually being charged with anything? Are you even a real police officer? Can I see your ID? Get the fuck out of my house"?

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Columbo.The criminals can't all be arrogant and stupid enough to give Columbo all the information he needs.


Endicott

  • I've done no research
Columbo.The criminals can't all be arrogant and stupid enough to give Columbo all the information he needs.

Not representative of all criminals though. They're a self selecting group (based on the fact that Columbo caught them).

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
'We've got a murder by some rich prick, sounds like a case for Columbo'?

Cuellar

  • Push off my wire
Columbo isn't a real policeman, they all just go along with it. He's an eccentric billionaire playing out a fantasy.

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
So it's an offshoot of Fantasy Island? Because that show had a rock solid fundamental premise.

Diagnosis Murder. Dick Van Dyke pretending to be a doctor and Barry Van Dyke pretending to be an actor.

Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
  • **
  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
The premise is ok, but the amount of fakery makes the whole thing pointless.

So someone is trying to escape and you think they might be catching a bus but you don't know which bus they'll be catching so you access the CCTV - simulated because they can't actually access the cctv - presumably they've just stuck a camera on a tripod which the person being hunted had been told to ignore.  So they're looking at the pretend CCTV... where is the person we're hunting?  Oh yes, they'll be the person that's being followed by A FUCKING CAMERA CREW except when we see them on cctv the camera crew has vanished.  They must have had to film 2 takes.

Someone is in the countryside somewhere... so from the aerial drone footage we see the person being hunted... oh there they are in the middle of the field WITH AN INVISIBLE FUCKING CAMERA CREW.  You'd have had to ask them to move out of the way and hide while they shot the drone footage.

A person is being pursued by a hunter who's about 100 yards behind them, running across a field, they vault a gate and get into a waiting car which speeds off.  OK MATE THE 2-MAN CAMERA CREW HAVE FILMED THE SHOT OF THE CAR SPEEDING OFF, NOW COME BACK AND LET US GET IN THE CAR AND FILM A 2ND TAKE OF THE ESCAPE FROM INSIDE THE CAR WHILE THE HUNTER STAYS BACK AND PROMISES NOT TO CATCH US WHILE WE FILM THE 2ND TAKE.

And in the most recent series they invented the ability to "hack" cars so they can see on a map exactly where a car is.  Like they're somehow hacking into the cars GPS.  FUCK OFF  MATE.

On and that aerial shot of London they keep showing to give the impression the Hunters are based in The Gherkin and not in a broom cupboard at Channel 4.

Yeah, they were the things which irritated me as well but I was too lazy to type them out, and you did so in a far funnier way than I could have so I'm glad I was lazy!

dr beat

  • You're dealing with loved ones, I won't have it
Blockbusters. 2 v 1? Get out.


any film in which the FUNDAMENTAL PREMISE is that Tom Cruise's character is a charming, desirable, all-action badass that will save the world and perhaps make a witty quip or two along the way.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

To be honest; I don't think that I have seen the whole film. Admittedly, someone's issues with their own look can often be down to their own mind-set rather than how attractive society tends to deem them; but Garofalo still seems too damn cute and nice and not even close to Hollywood ugly to make the premise believable.
Yeah, bit hard to buy into it when I thought she was prettier than Uma Thurman. Plus the fact the male lead was the fellow from Game On.

At least in Roxanne, they gave Steve Martin the appropriate huge nose.

Clownbaby

  • Toe to tip, this is a Bart
13 Reasons Why. A teenage girl decides to kill herself because she is bullied, drug raped, bullied again, raped again, gets called a stupid poo poo head, gets into a car accident, gets beaten up, gets her nudes leaked online and so on, piles and piles of abuse and misery basically with a vape-wave soundtrack or whatev

Before she commits suicide, she records thirteen CASSETTES to give to people as a fuck you from beyond the grave. How long did it take to record thirteen tapes that absolutely no fucker would be able to listen to because they are american teenagers in the year 2018 AND DON'T OWN TAPE PLAYERS. Each tape is 90 minutes, assuming she didn't fill the whole tape though, did she stick some Modest Mouse on the other side or something,. Anyway she then gets a gay latino 35-year-old high school student with ridiculous hair who drives around in a chevy listening to Joy Division to eake out the tapes one by one (along with a tape player so you can fuck you listen to it, of course). It should have been called 13 Tumblr Posts or something, just pass out a link to thirteen different twitter accounts that just call you a cunt for pages and pages.

She emoitonally tortures her only friend from beyond the grave, gay latino dude keeps saying "you have a tape, my dude, hoo boy, get ready becuase you have a tape coming your way, bruv" and then we he gets it its just her going "you're alright, you are alright, i like you urgh" so FUCKING STUPID.
christ, even with the whole incredibly irresponsible "HAY KIDS, are you being BULLIED? why not KILL YOURESELF and make everyone feel BAD" message, would any of her bullies and enemies actually give that much of a shit, they're stupid idiot american grave children with rich parents and Hamptons, whatever the fuck Hamptons are, but they're always going to them, aren't they.

Stupidest thing of all, there is a SECOND SERIES of this planned. HOW? Does some kid buy a fucking lathe cutter and start cutting his own flexi disks with recordings of him going "Whoo, I'm dead now, and it's becuase of you gnarr" and his bereaved eskimo grandma fucking skateboards around town like Marty Mcfly frisbeeing records at school kids?

Aye its shite. I was going to write a diatribe on this at some point but youve pretty much covered everything

"But the subject matter is very important" is always the counter argument when I bring up how shit it is. My fucking arse, its a terrible handling of the subject matter. And it's also very dull

Blockbusters. 2 v 1? Get out.

And the 2 only need to get one more answer right than the 1 in order to win the round.
THEY SHOULD NEED TO GET DOUBLE!

I'll have a FUCK OFF please, Bob.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
The Office. You all know what I'm going to say here, don't you?

I managed to get dragged along by Series One of 13 Reasons Why. Absolutely love and can't argue with that delightful description above. For me; season 2 setting up a trial for the high school jock though just seemed completely unbelievable and couldn't imagine any judge letting it get any where near trial. Unfortunately; you have to make do with this vague, uninsightful and dull description until Gregory Torso gets round to Season Two.

Blockbusters. 2 v 1? Get out.

Yep, possibly the most irritating and enduring injustice ever committed on national TV. I almost couldn't watch it because of the 2 v 1.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
The Office. You all know what I'm going to say here, don't you?

They should have stopped making it after Steve Carell left ?
( In a way, this post is quite legit; there are far more reasons why the premise of the Yank version of The Office is unbuyintoable than the Limey version ).

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
The Pink Panther.
A gentleman, a scholar * and* an acrobat? Yeah, right.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
Similar to Blockbusters, " Going For Gold ". A load of Johnny Foreigners answer questions asked by top Nick Heyward's Dad lookalike Henry Kelly in his lilting Irish brogue. All the foreign types would be from Europe, so that would include someone from fucking Britain, having the slight advantage over the others of answering questions posed to them in THEIR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. Well, that's fucking fair, isn't it ?

Rosemary & Thyme is a British television cozy mystery series starring Felicity Kendal and Pam Ferris as gardening detectives Rosemary Boxer and Laura Thyme. ... The theme is murder mysteries in the setting of professional gardening jobs.

Six Million Dollar Man - in real life he'd break his cock every time he had a wank, which would be often given the opportunities for bionic eye perving.

Endicott

  • I've done no research
It was the bionic woman who had both arms replaced. Steve used his left hand.

Similar to Blockbusters, " Going For Gold ". A load of Johnny Foreigners answer questions asked by top Nick Heyward's Dad lookalike Henry Kelly in his lilting Irish brogue. All the foreign types would be from Europe, so that would include someone from fucking Britain, having the slight advantage over the others of answering questions posed to them in THEIR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. Well, that's fucking fair, isn't it ?

I remember one of the GFG questions Henry fucking Kelly asked the foreign lads and the answer was 'day'.
No one got it right, and the final part of the clue was "a period of time lasting for 24 hours".

Now, everyone knows what a day is, which leaves 3 possibilities:
1. They didn't understand the question in English.
2. They didn't know the English word 'day'.
3. They couldn't understand Henry fucking Kelly.

None of these are valid reasons to lose a general knowledge quiz.

I seem to remember that with Going for Gold, eventually the people of Europe got a bit fed up with this disadvantage, so you'd have contestants from "nations" such as Guernsey and the Isle of Man.

Super heroes.OK fight crime if that's your thing but why dress up in stupid costumes to do it.

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Six Million Dollar Man - in real life he'd break his cock every time he had a wank, which would be often given the opportunities for bionic eye perving.

I never understood why the Six Million Dollar Man Action man's bionic eye made things look further away.

I seem to remember that with Going for Gold, eventually the people of Europe got a bit fed up with this disadvantage, so you'd have contestants from "nations" such as Guernsey and the Isle of Man.

It's impossible to sing the theme tune for Going For Gold without somehow seguing into the end of the theme from Going Live!

Edit: ignore that. I have literally just done it without doing that.

Bargain Hunt. They are purchasing at retail and selling at trade. It's the wrong way round.