Author Topic: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game  (Read 14271 times)

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #60 on: April 30, 2019, 07:45:34 PM »
Disregarding looks for a minute, I just don't like the way they made New Lara such a dullard. Old Lara was an aristocratic English girl who made witty quips whilst raiding tombs and shooting some animals. New Lara is such a bore in comparison. If I met her in the pub I don't think I'd even buy her a drink. She'd probably only fall on it and cut her jugular open somehow anyway.

This is what i miss. I never played Tomb Raider for a gut wrenching sad time. I played them because they were about a smart and implausibly athletic posh superwoman  solving puzzles and kicking arse with just the right amount of story. The recent one with her trapped on that bleak grim island being bleak and grim just felt like some completely different franchise that takes itself too seriously 

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #61 on: April 30, 2019, 08:15:52 PM »
This is what i miss. I never played Tomb Raider for a gut wrenching sad time. I played them because they were about a smart and implausibly athletic posh superwoman  solving puzzles and kicking arse with just the right amount of story. The recent one with her trapped on that bleak grim island being bleak and grim just felt like some completely different franchise that takes itself too seriously

This is what game developers think that you, as a woman, want. Are you not entertained? My little sister is the same though. She grew up on the the old Tomb Raider games as a kid, and she refers to modern day Lara, and I quote, as a "boring, whiny cunt".

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #62 on: April 30, 2019, 08:36:40 PM »
Anyone who is threatened or offended by the old Lara Croft is a big baby

magval

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #63 on: April 30, 2019, 08:45:02 PM »
I never played any of them, by the way. Tomb Raider 2013 was my first because I liked Uncharted.

She probably does compare badly to the old Lara. She's insufferable in the second one, so I skipped the third.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #64 on: April 30, 2019, 08:47:48 PM »
Nathan Drake is an arsehole as well. In the sea with him.

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #65 on: April 30, 2019, 08:54:23 PM »
I never played any of them, by the way. Tomb Raider 2013 was my first because I liked Uncharted.

She probably does compare badly to the old Lara. She's insufferable in the second one, so I skipped the third.

I hope you don't think I'm getting at you or owt. It's just that, while i think TR 2013 is alright as a general action adventure game it has zero of the more fun and unique qualities of the earlier games cause of that typical "let's do a darkangritty reinvention" as if that's  never been done before 

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #66 on: April 30, 2019, 08:58:33 PM »
Nathan Drake is an arsehole as well. In the sea with him.
I like the games themselves but his twee wisecracks and marriage issues come the 4th one don't grab me. Honestly overwrought character development in games leaves me cold mostly.

magval

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #67 on: April 30, 2019, 09:49:09 PM »
I hope you don't think I'm getting at you or owt.

Not at all :-)

Kryton

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #68 on: April 30, 2019, 09:59:24 PM »
Sniping an enemy from a mile away then suddenly all the enemies on the map are running at you, shooting at you with pistols and causing damage. Fuck off.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #69 on: May 01, 2019, 03:37:45 AM »
Wanted to chime in and agree with crafting and weapons that break.

I’m fine with rifles jamming every few hundred rounds and needing a clean, but breaking? Not working any more and that’s yer lot? Fuck off. Like that new sword? Better only use it very occasionally before it is taken away from you FOREVER. Moderation and careful consideration, that’s the reason people play video games!

Ooh you want a heal potion? Better craft one, so go over here and get the yellow herb then go over here and get the red leaf and then press select, menu, options, craft, combine items, select one, select 2nd item, hit craft, nothing happens, press start, menu, craft item recipes, oh it’s a yellow leaf and red herb, check inventory, hmm need to go over there and get a new leaf AAAAAAAARGH FUCK OFF. I’d rather just die IN REAL LIFE than go through all this rigmarole.

Just because something is immersive and realistic, doesn’t mean it is fun. Both of these things put me off Zelda on my Switch. I’ve still only out about 10 hours in, and most of that was when I was on a long flight and didn’t know what I was letting myself in for.

Sniping an enemy from a mile away then suddenly all the enemies on the map are running at you, shooting at you with pistols and causing damage. Fuck off.

Yeah this is a fucker as well. Far Cry does it all the time - 10 enemies about, one miles away sees you, and suddenly the baddie right next to you is aware of you and is already firing. Are they telepathic? Fuckkk offff.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #70 on: May 01, 2019, 03:40:55 AM »
I hope you don't think I'm getting at you or owt. It's just that, while i think TR 2013 is alright as a general action adventure game it has zero of the more fun and unique qualities of the earlier games cause of that typical "let's do a darkangritty reinvention" as if that's  never been done before

Which was the one with dinosaurs in? Might have been Tomb Raider 2, but only if you went and climbed down a hidden ladder into a ravine you were supposed to jump over and forget about. It was the once with Venice in it*

I miss the fun of PS1 games, which were just full of mad stuff if you were a completist nerd with too much time on your hands (as I was). Prince of Persia 2 had the entirety of the first game hidden in it, if memory serves. You had to get a special sword then smash a wall - nobody cared that it wasn’t realistic with PoP Universe - it was fun so they put it in.

*edit: yeah it was. I’m amazed how much of this I remember considering I’ve probably not seen it in the better part of 20 years. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=msFduhxZleI
« Last Edit: May 01, 2019, 03:53:07 AM by FerriswheelBueller »

Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #71 on: May 01, 2019, 06:54:47 AM »
Which was the one with dinosaurs in? Might have been Tomb Raider 2, but only if you went and climbed down a hidden ladder into a ravine you were supposed to jump over and forget about. It was the once with Venice in it*

I miss the fun of PS1 games, which were just full of mad stuff if you were a completist nerd with too much time on your hands (as I was). Prince of Persia 2 had the entirety of the first game hidden in it, if memory serves. You had to get a special sword then smash a wall - nobody cared that it wasn’t realistic with PoP Universe - it was fun so they put it in.

*edit: yeah it was. I’m amazed how much of this I remember considering I’ve probably not seen it in the better part of 20 years. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=msFduhxZleI

All three games had dinosaurs in, only TR2 had optional dinosaurs, as you mentioned after climbing down some fucking long ladder to get the gold dragon statue you encounter the T Rex.

Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #72 on: May 10, 2019, 12:33:25 AM »
The Borderlands 3 thread just reminded me of this. Faux in game cutscenes/load screens where a character slowly(slow walkers in real life cause me anguish) walks and talks and you can't do anything other than jump around the room as you wait for the lift etc.

Half Life 2 was hailed as an almost perfect game, check again mate you are wrong, the shooting parts were just filler for the actual game which was waiting for a character moving at -0.1 miles per hour in a room.

samadriel

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #73 on: May 10, 2019, 08:36:22 AM »
Half Life 2 was hailed as an almost perfect game, check again mate you are wrong, the shooting parts were just filler for the actual game which was waiting for a character moving at -0.1 miles per hour in a room.

What bollocks.  Apart from Kleiner's lab at the start and the Black Mesa East segment, you're scarcely waiting on anyone.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • In France we call it le bellend
Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #74 on: May 14, 2019, 03:38:48 PM »
Ooh, I've got one: nagging NPC'S. You know the type, you're off exploring the map, going down the path that lies opposite to the main objective because there might be a secret there, and your companions are shouting "What the FUCK are you doing? Go there and do this thing. The fate of the world depends on you pushing this switch, then another two switches spaced evenly throughout this area! Do as you're told you absolute TWAT."

It's meant to instill a fake sense of urgency to what you're doing, but nobody ever pays any attention, so it's a redundant game mechanic. If it's not that often, I can usually ignore it, but if it's being very persistent, like every few seconds, I'll either turn the sound off, or stop playing the game.

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #75 on: May 31, 2019, 09:05:12 AM »
I picked up heavy Rain for 99p in a charity shop. What a waste of fucking money. Boring boring game. I do not want to sit and shake my controller like a wanker in a very precise way just to dry someone's hair. And the walking controls are fucking shit. Why do you use R2 to accelerate ordinary man walking? What's wrong with the joystick just controlling his walking? In this day and age, 3d characters moving freely around a screen is effortlessly built by game developers, having deliberately "different" basic movements isn't clever, it just feels weird and pointless. Really not my thing this game.

- Very pleased with itself for coming up with its story and obviously so proud of its "innovative" concept

- Takes itself too seriously and is often unintentionally funny but not unintentionally funny enough to be actually fun

- Unnecessarily contrived controls

- Naffly edited cutscenes

The game has it all

Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #76 on: May 31, 2019, 02:34:25 PM »
If it's made by Nintendo

madhair60

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #77 on: May 31, 2019, 03:43:08 PM »
If it's made by Nintendo

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FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #78 on: May 31, 2019, 03:57:07 PM »
I picked up heavy Rain for 99p in a charity shop. What a waste of fucking money. Boring boring game. I do not want to sit and shake my controller like a wanker in a very precise way just to dry someone's hair. And the walking controls are fucking shit. Why do you use R2 to accelerate ordinary man walking? What's wrong with the joystick just controlling his walking? In this day and age, 3d characters moving freely around a screen is effortlessly built by game developers, having deliberately "different" basic movements isn't clever, it just feels weird and pointless. Really not my thing this game.

- Very pleased with itself for coming up with its story and obviously so proud of its "innovative" concept

- Takes itself too seriously and is often unintentionally funny but not unintentionally funny enough to be actually fun

- Unnecessarily contrived controls

- Naffly edited cutscenes

The game has it all

Limmy does a playthrough and I can’t hear the name “Jason” without hearing it in his delivery.

“Jason! Jason!”

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I did wonder after that Green Day thread, but I didn’t like to ask.

madhair60

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #79 on: May 31, 2019, 07:04:09 PM »
Reported

Ham Bap

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #80 on: May 31, 2019, 08:40:48 PM »
Missions were you have to follow people and it’s an instant fail if you are spotted.
Or missions where you have to sneak around and instant fail if spotted - the recent Spider-Man game had a few missions like that.

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #81 on: June 01, 2019, 12:15:54 AM »
Limmy does a playthrough and I can’t hear the name “Jason” without hearing it in his delivery.

“Jason! Jason!”


Did he now? I'm findin that

TwinPeaks

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #82 on: June 01, 2019, 12:23:32 AM »
when it's just about a man going through some woods with a child. when's there gonna be a ps4 game that isn't that

Clownbaby

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #83 on: June 01, 2019, 01:13:10 AM »
when it's just about a man going through some woods with a child. when's there gonna be a ps4 game that isn't that

Make sure there's a never fully explained threat of infected and/or nuclear fallout

Tell you what would be really innovative, if they done all that but in space but with a worn and rusty ever so steampunk flavour to it yeah that would be ever so innovative

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #84 on: June 01, 2019, 01:38:15 AM »
Did he now? I'm findin that

It’s exactly the sort of pompous, self-serious game that Limmy gleefully rips the piss out of for the duration. Worth a watch.

Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #85 on: June 04, 2019, 10:56:30 AM »
Dead Rising is fucking ace.

H-O-W-L

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #86 on: August 27, 2019, 01:56:33 PM »
Kicking this duck up the arse to say: Fantasy games, or medieval games that don't have semirealistic, simple weaponry and armor. I don't mean like, every bastard uses polearms, but when the bog standard sword looks like this:


Just get tae fuck. One of the reasons I loved Medievil as a kid was that even as a dead skeleton man Dan wore caricatured but still realistic plate and mail and wielded a simple sword up until you got the huge arse magical sword with a gold hilt and parrying quillons and all that. I'm dead into medieval weapons and armor so seeing the basic/simple end all be fancy shit right narks my arse.

It is the same for guns too, to be fair. I fucking hate now the new Doom games have an obsession with every weapon being like a handheld Tesla Model S that throws bullets.

Ambient Sheep

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Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #87 on: August 31, 2019, 01:26:16 AM »
Going seriously old-skool shoot-em-ups here:

Inclusive life counters.

In other words, when the little row of ships in the corner of your screen, or the picture of the ship and a number, includes the one you're using.  So you think you've got one more ship left... BANG... oh no you don't after all, that was it.

Petty but always annoyed me.

Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #88 on: August 31, 2019, 08:04:03 AM »
That's a great call. I still haven't got a clue from game to game. Tends to be that an extra ship on screen in Cave games means you got that an 'extend', so there's no confusion about 'lives'.

Re: Silly little things that mean you won't like a game
« Reply #89 on: September 05, 2019, 10:01:21 PM »
twee anime shit. "sexy" anime shit. cel shading, cutesey wootsie fanny shite. "clever" subversions of cutesey wootsie fanny shite.


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