Author Topic: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?  (Read 2184 times)

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« on: April 26, 2019, 10:23:08 AM »
Yer smack, and what have yer. Any drugs apart from cigarettes and alcohol, basically.
 I haven't done any of those naughty drugs mentioned in the title (apart from de' erb, if we're counting that one), so have no tales to tell in that area. I used to know someone who knew someone who sort of knew that scouse lass what advertised Flake choccolate bars in the 90s who did loads of acid, and ended up in a mental hospital, mind you.

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2019, 11:06:19 AM »
Diminishing returns, sobriety is mental enough, so no need for psychedelics, can control my own ups,  downs and  euphoria without the training wheels now

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2019, 11:49:41 AM »
1999

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2019, 11:51:39 AM »
can control my own ups,  downs and  euphoria without the training wheels now

How do you do this? It sounds like a superpower.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2019, 11:55:31 AM »
My entire lifetime's intake.

Coke twice. First time when I was 19, second time when I was 29 (with a member of a chart-topping band I'll have you know.) Didn't really do a lot for me on either occasion. Maybe I wasn't sniffing it properly or something.

Ecstasy twice in a month in my mid 20s. First time was okay but nothing special. Second time was great though. Apart from totally losing the ability to walk for a short while (I did have some ability in those days). Which was immaculate timing as it occurred when the rave thing I was at (in a warehouse near Kings Cross) was being raided by the police at the time and we were all being chucked out. I had to be carried back to one of the other guys' car (thankfully the cops didn't see that) and then we went onto a (legal) club. where I even danced. Enjoyable but I've never had any great desire to do it again.

Dope very occasionally, most often when I was visiting a family member who was into it. Haven't touched it for about five years now. Just don't like the taste or smell. Couldn't roll a joint to save my life. Thankfully I've never been in that situation.

Poppers a couple of times in my late teens and early 20s. Very strange. Giving yourself a headache, Not my scene man.

DoDos. Chest tablets which acted like a sort of speed when combined with coke (the drink). A few times in my late teens/early 20s. It shrinks your willie you know. Which isn't good when you're lying in bed with your heart pounding thinking it's going to stay like that forever. It wasn't from a particularly strong starting point either.

That's it. I'm a good boy now.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2019, 12:15:17 PM »
Had a gary at a rave for the first time in ages a month ago. It was great apart from having to sit next to someone on an 8am bus with my chin still swinging.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2019, 12:18:21 PM »
One of my biggest regrets is not doing more drugs when I was younger and had all the time and resilience in the world to handle them properly. Used hard drugs about 10 times in my early-mid twenties and wanted to do more, but always had some lame excuse not to.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2019, 12:26:13 PM »
ignore

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2019, 12:29:54 PM »
How do you do this? It sounds like a superpower.

Me giving it the Billy big bollocks up there, I meant more that being an older man married, broke is enough thrills and spills for me, and I've learned to find extreme misery, happiness and weirdness in just being alive in this stupid weird earth. Maybe that's more of a loosing of control, narrowing of my horizons than a widening, maybe I wasn't doing drugs properly in the first place. Time I spent working in amazon warehouses was more of a hell ride of wonder than any acid or racecar nitrous back I'm spotty times

Buelligan

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Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2019, 12:32:03 PM »
Both my siblings were addicted to various shit, including the classic one.  I sensibly stuck to the drink.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2019, 01:10:42 PM »
I've been more or less a cocaine addict since I was about 21. I'm 37 on Sunday and I'm absolutely fucking sick of it now. This is the first time I've ever admitted to being one.

It started off as just a few lines in the pub with the older (late 20s) crowd and before I knew it was doing it every other day. Never sober (a rule I've always stuck to, I just don't like the scatty effect, the feeling in the throat and the need to smoke every five minutes with a dry mouth) but over the years it went down from having a line with my 7th or 8th pint (to sober up) to phoning my dealer on my third. Now I'm ringing him before I go out to make sure there's no delay the minute I want a stripe.

My last relationship was a disaster because we were both addicts, I suppose. We'd have a glass of wine with dinner which would turn into 8 bottles and £200 worth of Coke, with me going to work still off my tits in the morning and her sleeping all day, then arguing like fuck because we were both coming down. The next day would be fine, we'd say we've got to start being sensible and we'd plan a holiday with all the money we'd save. The following day would be Friday and we'd be up until Monday, every cokehead in the town would turn up at some point because they'd got nowhere else to go after the pubs closed and they knew we'd be up. And we always were. We broke up, it couldn't work under those conditions. It was our second attempt, it had fallen down three years before because of the same reasons. She was the love of my life and it fucking hurts. She tried to kill herself a few weeks later and I was in too much of a cocaine stupour to read her message properly and I wasn't there for her. Luckily somebody else was. I'll never forgive myself for that.

Every Friday for the last 15 years, the messages have started coming from all the dealers around dinner time, when they get up. 'When am I seeing you?' 'It's £220 lad, you'd best have it' etc, then the lying starts 'haven't been paid yet, see you monday' etc because I haven't got enough to pay them all. Sometimes you have to turn your phone off and not leave the house, just in case it's one of the more punchy ones I owe this week. Or if you do, walk strange routes, through alleys and parks so you don't get seen. It's no life.

I always blamed alcohol as a trigger but now I'm not sure. I think I drink so I can take cocaine, not the other way round. Of course the real reason is that I'm unhappy but it's got lost in the midst of an addiction. I don't even know what the root of the unhappiness is, everything has become jumbled up and all the bad things don't matter when you've done a line or two. It's so hard to get away from where I live, there's an epidemic and it's in your face all the time. I know that's not an excuse, you have to be stronger than that, I just never have been.

Moving away isn't an option at the moment because I have a 12yr old son who needs me, I can't even bring myself to type how many times I've neglected him to feed my habit (not physically but emotionally, which is probably worse). I've made so many selfish decisions.

 I travel a lot and cocaine isn't an issue, apart from the fleeting 'I wish I had a line now' when you're sat in a bar in Chiangmai or wherever. But you can't get any, it's not an option so you just forget it. I think I might have to stop drinking. And more importantly, stop blaming other things for my decisions. I've got to be more honest with myself and try to take control of my life.

Sorry for the self-indulgence but it felt the right time to get that off my chest.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2019, 01:16:55 PM »
Midnight

Thanks for sharing that. I think I 100% understand where you are coming from on a personal and professional level. Just writing it down might be the start of getting yourself sorted no matter how distant that feels at the moment. Best of luck mate. I've worked in the drug and alcohol field for decades now so feel free to drop me a PM if you think it'll help.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2019, 01:18:46 PM »

Sorry for the self-indulgence but it felt the right time to get that off my chest.

It's fair enough mate. it takes guts to admit that sort of thing, even on a messageboard. Good luck in getting off it.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2019, 01:21:13 PM »
Good luck to you Midnight. I found your post interesting and brave. You'll manage it I reckon.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2019, 01:23:11 PM »
I've been more or less a cocaine addict since I was about 21. I'm 37 on Sunday and I'm absolutely fucking sick of it now. This is the first time I've ever admitted to being one.

It started off as just a few lines in the pub with the older (late 20s) crowd and before I knew it was doing it every other day. Never sober (a rule I've always stuck to, I just don't like the scatty effect, the feeling in the throat and the need to smoke every five minutes with a dry mouth) but over the years it went down from having a line with my 7th or 8th pint (to sober up) to phoning my dealer on my third. Now I'm ringing him before I go out to make sure there's no delay the minute I want a stripe.

My last relationship was a disaster because we were both addicts, I suppose. We'd have a glass of wine with dinner which would turn into 8 bottles and £200 worth of Coke, with me going to work still off my tits in the morning and her sleeping all day, then arguing like fuck because we were both coming down. The next day would be fine, we'd say we've got to start being sensible and we'd plan a holiday with all the money we'd save. The following day would be Friday and we'd be up until Monday, every cokehead in the town would turn up at some point because they'd got nowhere else to go after the pubs closed and they knew we'd be up. And we always were. We broke up, it couldn't work under those conditions. It was our second attempt, it had fallen down three years before because of the same reasons. She was the love of my life and it fucking hurts. She tried to kill herself a few weeks later and I was in too much of a cocaine stupour to read her message properly and I wasn't there for her. Luckily somebody else was. I'll never forgive myself for that.

Every Friday for the last 15 years, the messages have started coming from all the dealers around dinner time, when they get up. 'When am I seeing you?' 'It's £220 lad, you'd best have it' etc, then the lying starts 'haven't been paid yet, see you monday' etc because I haven't got enough to pay them all. Sometimes you have to turn your phone off and not leave the house, just in case it's one of the more punchy ones I owe this week. Or if you do, walk strange routes, through alleys and parks so you don't get seen. It's no life.

I always blamed alcohol as a trigger but now I'm not sure. I think I drink so I can take cocaine, not the other way round. Of course the real reason is that I'm unhappy but it's got lost in the midst of an addiction. I don't even know what the root of the unhappiness is, everything has become jumbled up and all the bad things don't matter when you've done a line or two. It's so hard to get away from where I live, there's an epidemic and it's in your face all the time. I know that's not an excuse, you have to be stronger than that, I just never have been.

Moving away isn't an option at the moment because I have a 12yr old son who needs me, I can't even bring myself to type how many times I've neglected him to feed my habit (not physically but emotionally, which is probably worse). I've made so many selfish decisions.

One thing that gives me a bit of hope though is that I travel a lot and cocaine isn't an issue, apart from the fleeting 'I wish I had a line now' when you're sat in a bar in Chiangmai or wherever. But you can't get any, it's not an option so you just forget it. I think I might have to stop drinking.

Sorry for the self-indulgence but it felt the right time to get that off my chest.

I can relate, but nowhere near as bad. I know how shit and pointless coke is but when I've had a few pints and it's going about I'm chipping in or accepting freebies. I can happily not do it if I'm on my own but if I see friends I know who do it I know I'm going along for the ride. I once got proper off my tits on a Sunday and took an emergency holiday, god knows what would've happened if I'd not been allowed.

One of my mates was quite bad, I've seen him texting mates on a Sunday because their dealer's out just too see if they've got leftovers. He also tipped over a shit-pot in our local standing on it to do a line off the high windowsill.

Thing is I'd much prefer to go on some gurners but it just doesn't have the convenient recovery time.

Good luck.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2019, 01:24:26 PM »
I should have used the words " alluded to ", not the word " mentioned" in my original post. Maybe I * should * take loads of drugs, it might improve my fucking writing.
Still, at least this thread has helped MidnightShambler get a lot of stuff off his chest ( better than putting it up his nose, lolz ), and maybe even steered him in the right direction towards doing something about his situation. Which would be nice.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2019, 01:27:52 PM »
I hope you knock it on the head ASAP, for your son's sake more than anything. Both of my parents were addicts throughout my entire childhood and it and it ruined that period of my life, and I still haven't moved past it (almost 30) and doubt I ever will. Spoke to my dad about 5 times in ten years because of what a selfish prick he was back then, doubt I'll ever forgive him. I seriously hope your situation with your lad doesn't come to that. Good luck, man.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2019, 01:30:17 PM »
The only drugz I've ever done is mushrooms, once. Loads of fun, ages ago. Tried smoking weed a few times but was too much of a fucking nerd to actually physically pull it off. Just made me cough and gave up.

Is it true that it's more fun doing creative stuff on drugz or is that bollocks? What's it like?

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2019, 01:32:10 PM »


Is it true that it's more fun doing creative stuff on drugz or is that bollocks? What's it like?

The young Eric Idle considers rewrite.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2019, 01:48:26 PM »
Coke twice. First time when I was 19, second time when I was 29 (with a member of a chart-topping band I'll have you know.)

Was it Candida from Pulp?

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2019, 01:53:29 PM »
Was it Candida from Pulp?

And were you both animatedly saying to each other " Yeah no way would Finchy react like that to being told to fuck off, he wouldn't just stand there and say nowt, course he fucking wouldn't, he definitely wouldn't, would he? "

Mr_Simnock

  • BREXIT? what brexit
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2019, 01:54:34 PM »
The only drugz I've ever done is mushrooms, once. Loads of fun, ages ago. Tried smoking weed a few times but was too much of a fucking nerd to actually physically pull it off. Just made me cough and gave up.

Is it true that it's more fun doing creative stuff on drugz or is that bollocks? What's it like?

For a long time I thought it was a load of old bollocks that it could help anyone but the more research I read about the effects of LSD (and other drugs) on the brain the more I understand that it could get some people out of a bit of a creative rut. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/apr/11/lsd-impact-brain-revealed-groundbreaking-images, from the article I can imagine anyone experiencing that huge increase in brain activity every now and again could help them find new ways of looking at what creative endeavour they are in, it's the continued use though that can fuck everything up though.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2019, 02:51:59 PM »
I'm really sorry to hear that MidnightShambler, and hope you're able to get off it, have you thought about going to your GP and asking for help?

I've done coke about five or six times and loved each experience until the last, where I was an arrogant prick and tried to chat up a friend of a friend despite her boyfriend being in the same room. Never bought it myself though, and have promised Mrs SMBH I'll never do it again as while she didn't have a problem with weed she's very anti cocaine.

On the weed front, well, yeah, twenty odd years of smoking it saw me waste a lot of my life away, and then I went a bit mental last year and finally quit it, I'll be a year clean on May 7th. I did have many a happy time while stoned but it made it easy to avoid life, and I'm much happier now I've finally stopped.

The only drugz I've ever done is mushrooms, once. Loads of fun, ages ago. Tried smoking weed a few times but was too much of a fucking nerd to actually physically pull it off. Just made me cough and gave up.

Is it true that it's more fun doing creative stuff on drugz or is that bollocks? What's it like?

I always found it easier to write fiction / stand up when stoned, strange and odd ideas came much quicker, though the next morning I'd have to rewrite a good half of it as it was clearly rambling nonsense. I find it much easier to write reviews and articles while sober however, which is what I spend a lot of my time doing instead. Really must go back and finish the final draft of the novel I've written though, even if it turns out to be bollocks I know at least seven people I can emotionally blackmail in to buying it.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2019, 03:03:57 PM »
For all that I enjoy cocaine and have had really enjoyable, social weekends on it, it is a deeply sad drug. IF you're up way past your bed time it's almost impossible to call it a day til it's all gone, because the minute the last line starts to wear off by Christ does the fear slip in.

MidnightShambler - seek help man. Just seek some fucking help. Addiction is too powerful for you to fight alone.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2019, 03:38:05 PM »
Yeah you're going to be up until the bag runs out + a couple of hours wanking like a safari park chimp.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #25 on: April 26, 2019, 03:42:06 PM »
I could barely walk for a week at one point, so tender were my calves after furiously trying to wank myself to sleep with a shrivelled, flaccid drug-cock after taking some shitty mdma analog.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2019, 03:50:31 PM »
Was it Candida from Pulp?

As if! No, it wasn't a member of a Sheffield band although this particular member was from Sheffield. And he's not in them anymore, although he was briefly in another chart-topping band. He said enigmatically.

Finchy was there though and asked for a line. I told him to fuck off and he looked crestfallen but didn't say a word.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2019, 04:29:35 PM »
I could barely walk for a week at one point, so tender were my calves after furiously trying to wank myself to sleep with a shrivelled, flaccid drug-cock after taking some shitty mdma analog.

Oh god, those things were the worst. A bloke on my darts team worked on a market stall selling 'research chemicals' and they were all awful, felt like dodgy speed on the way up and a guaranteed half-day at least staring at the ceiling in limbo waiting to crash out. Regretted that every time I tried it. Him and a couple of other players were on them full time, fuck knows how they functioned.

He also got us into trouble getting angry, one of those pricks always almost starting a fight but never actually throwing a punch
Even people on our team hoped someone would lay him out.

Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2019, 05:15:07 PM »
Thanks everyone, I actually feel a lot better for saying all that. I've been thinking about It over the last few hours and I've realised that since I've been actively posting on this forum, my consumption has actually decreased. Maybe I've been a lot lonelier than I've thought over the years.

You're alright, you lot.

Twit 2

  • In the boneyard of dreams
Re: Why Did You Stop Doing Loads Of Drugs?
« Reply #29 on: April 26, 2019, 05:27:53 PM »
I’m so glad I have no interest in cocaine: I tried it once and it did fuck all (and was good stuff, apparently). I have liked speed way too much when I’ve had it, but only have it once in a blue moon, ditto MDMA. So mostly it’s been weed, which I smoke a helluva lot less of these days.