Author Topic: That's no way to go  (Read 6365 times)

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #120 on: May 01, 2019, 11:16:13 AM »
I reckon being killed by a beast, we have evolved as a species to design and manufacture an Apache attack helicopter, but we can't be flying that around 24/7 due to Labour Laws!!!! But if a bloody goose, termite, or (beggars belief) a Tasmanian Tiger sets its eyes on you, you are fucked in a long distressing prolonged death.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #121 on: May 01, 2019, 12:32:59 PM »
Yeah getting eaten by a beast would be bad but you could tell yourself it's just obeying its instincts. Getting killed by some mad loony is worse again because he should know better. No humanity. No soul. Something has happened to him and he's died inside and now he's going to kill you and all. Brrrrr! Horrible stuff. But if you crawled into somewhere you shouldn't have crawled in (like a little hole or an oven or a crusher) and got stuck, that's all you. You did this to yourself. You made a mistake and now you're going to die for it. Nobody else to blame, not some savage animal or some messed up crazy idiot. All you. You fucked up. And now you're dead. That must be the worst. Luckily I plan on living forever.

imitationleather

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #122 on: May 01, 2019, 12:38:54 PM »
If my kittens have a massive growth spurt overnight and end up about twenty feet they will fuck me up, won't they? I've seen what they do to my zips and it doesn't look pleasant.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #123 on: May 01, 2019, 12:46:40 PM »
Heading over to paedohunters now to lighten the mood

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #124 on: May 01, 2019, 01:03:04 PM »
No! Stay here and lighten the mood.

You can learn about my friend who literally laughed his arse off.

You’d be amazed how many hours you can live with no arse, if you can call it living.

St_Eddie

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #125 on: May 01, 2019, 02:03:37 PM »
...if you crawled into somewhere you shouldn't have crawled in (like a little hole or an oven or a crusher) and got stuck, that's all you. You did this to yourself. You made a mistake and now you're going to die for it. Nobody else to blame, not some savage animal or some messed up crazy idiot. All you. You fucked up. And now you're dead.

No, not having that in regards to the oven stories that I posted earlier.  Those blokes were doing their job and were supposed to be inside the oven (cleaning it or doing maintenance work) and it was only because of an egregious lack of safety precautions that a co-worker closed the door and activated the oven with no knowledge that they were inside.

Well, at least they claim that they had no knowledge.  Could make for a cracking episode of Columbo.

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #126 on: May 01, 2019, 02:09:01 PM »
No, not having that in regards to the oven stories that I posted earlier.  Those blokes were doing their job and were supposed to be inside the oven (cleaning it or doing maintenance work) and it was only because of an egregious lack of safety precautions that a co-worker closed the door and activated the oven with no knowledge that they were inside.

Well, at least they claim that they had no knowledge.  Could make for a cracking episode of Columbo.

Argh - ffs - why did you have to summarise it? I've skipped over most of these.

gilbertharding

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #127 on: May 01, 2019, 02:27:24 PM »
...well, apart from the one at the start of the thread where the bloke just didn't use the (well, until then) perfectly adequate safety device because he thought all his colleagues were at lunch.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #128 on: May 01, 2019, 02:34:12 PM »
Okay Jerzy, this is the Man-Sized Oven. One of your duties will be to clean the inside of it.
With a long broom?
No you have to open it and go inside of it.
Inside of it a little bit?
No, all the way in. So far in that you can't be seen from the outside.
I see.
You seem uncomfortable. Is there a problem?
Well, I suppose what I'm worried about is that, while I am inside of the oven, somebody could come along and shut me in and turn on the oven.
Right.
Could they do that?
Nobody is going to shut you in an oven and turn it on! I've worked here for three years and never heard of that happening, not even a bit.
But there's no safety feature that stops me from being cooked alive in the oven?
No. Not as such.
I'm very sorry to inform you that I will not be climbing inside this oven.
You are a typical entitled snowflake millennial and I hope someone DOES cook you in an oven you cunt. Get out of my sight.

Later
Fuck I wish I'd got in that oven for that guy. Could of used the money.

St_Eddie

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #129 on: May 01, 2019, 02:59:05 PM »
...well, apart from the one at the start of the thread where the bloke just didn't use the (well, until then) perfectly adequate safety device because he thought all his colleagues were at lunch.

That wasn't an oven, that was a baler at a recycling plant.  My issue lay with blaming the poor sods who got cooked alive inside a massive oven, through no fault of their own.

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #130 on: May 01, 2019, 03:06:46 PM »
I Googled.  Oh, gods.

Please summarise so I don't get curious enough to look it up

Cuellar

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #131 on: May 01, 2019, 03:08:39 PM »
It's all very vague, nothing to really get your teeth into.

People with burned up faces, burned up to such an extent that they don't have eyes and their skin resembles crocodile skin and all you can really see are red 'o's that were their mouths and they shuffle about not screaming because they can't scream but making a sort of constant humming noise and someone saw one holding a dead baby upside down

big deal

gilbertharding

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #132 on: May 01, 2019, 03:11:02 PM »
That wasn't an oven, that was a baler at a recycling plant.  My issue lay with blaming the poor sods who got cooked alive inside a massive oven, through no fault of their own.

You're right, of course. I'd conflated the two stories.

Cuellar

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #133 on: May 01, 2019, 03:11:14 PM »
Quote
It's all very vague, nothing to really get your teeth into.

No pictures anyway, put it like that.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #134 on: May 01, 2019, 03:15:45 PM »
It's all very vague, nothing to really get your teeth into.

People with burned up faces, burned up to such an extent that they don't have eyes and their skin resembles crocodile skin and all you can really see are red 'o's that were their mouths and they shuffle about not screaming because they can't scream but making a sort of constant humming noise and someone saw one holding a dead baby upside down

big deal

Yeah, I've seen worse ( I'm from St. Helens,  y'know ).

BlodwynPig

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touchingcloth

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #136 on: May 01, 2019, 06:29:26 PM »
Not necessarily. There are the bodies of over 200 climbers on Everest alone who just froze to death where they collapsed. Some of them were passed by other climbers on their way to and back from the peak as they died.

70 grand for that. 70 grand to spend a month climbing to a frozen death in the clouds.

Why 70 grand?

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #137 on: May 01, 2019, 07:59:37 PM »
It's all very vague, nothing to really get your teeth into.

People with burned up faces, burned up to such an extent that they don't have eyes and their skin resembles crocodile skin and all you can really see are red 'o's that were their mouths and they shuffle about not screaming because they can't scream but making a sort of constant humming noise and someone saw one holding a dead baby upside down

big deal

The odd thing is about that specific description is that it seems to originate from one book of which the veracity is already questionable(it used the testimony of a pilot who claimed to have been on the fateful bombing run but was in fact lying and didn't fly that mission). And to be honest I feel the story of Hiroshima is horrific enough without making stuff up about it.

A more accurate source might be Barefoot Gen, the manga written and drawn by a survivor of the attack. Suffice to say there are images in that story that will haunt you forever.

The autobiographical comic that preceded it "I Saw It" is a basically a very condensed version of the same story if you don't feel like reading ten volumes.


Dex Sawash

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #138 on: May 02, 2019, 02:00:47 AM »
Please summarise so I don't get curious enough to look it up

Probably atomic bomb wrecked people crawling about or frozen in death crawl. Or some sort of alligator-ant that might make a good video ganme element.


Edit- answered 7x already, COTD

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #139 on: May 02, 2019, 07:08:51 AM »
Why 70 grand?

I was googling to find the answer to that (it seems you basically pay a company to make all the necessary arrangements) and found this picture of the queue for Hillary Step, which is a 12m rock face quite near the summit. If queueing becomes part of the challenge it's probably time to find something a bit more original to do.

https://www.outsideonline.com/1915676/photo-captured-2012-climbing-season


touchingcloth

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #140 on: May 02, 2019, 09:05:00 AM »
I can't imagine where that amount of money would possibly go. Climbing gear, a tent, flights, travel to the mountain, some oxygen bottles. Kendal mint cake must have skyrocketed in price.

Norton Canes

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #141 on: May 02, 2019, 09:44:28 AM »
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/ball-lightning-hospitalises-woman-kills-3937359

Nearly four million? Jesus. Nice to know one woman survived though.

gilbertharding

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #142 on: May 02, 2019, 10:27:50 AM »
I can't imagine where that amount of money would possibly go. Climbing gear, a tent, flights, travel to the mountain, some oxygen bottles. Kendal mint cake must have skyrocketed in price.

Presumably a lot of it goes on guides... and perhaps shortening the queues. Looking at the picture in the article linked to (and from reading the text, it's a racing certainty that several of those people are now bodies littering the mountain) perhaps it should cost more than £70G.

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #143 on: May 02, 2019, 11:06:46 AM »
People with burned up faces, burned up to such an extent that they don't have eyes and their skin resembles crocodile skin and all you can really see are red 'o's that were their mouths and they shuffle about not screaming because they can't scream but making a sort of constant humming noise and someone saw one holding a dead baby upside down

Sounds like Yeovil on a Saturday morning!!!

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #144 on: May 02, 2019, 11:07:28 AM »


No way that's 15,000 feet.

Can you please put this picture of an ant walking alligator behind a link thanks.

Paul Calf

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #145 on: May 02, 2019, 11:51:22 AM »
Presumably a lot of it goes on guides... and perhaps shortening the queues. Looking at the picture in the article linked to (and from reading the text, it's a racing certainty that several of those people are now bodies littering the mountain) perhaps it should cost more than £70G.

The permit alone costs at least 11 grand and if you sign on with a licensed company there's food, accommodation, a team of sherpas to pay for two months, local guiding fees, oxygen, insurance and a healthy profit for the company.

But yeah, Everest is horribly overcrowded. It's a bit of a scandal really.

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #146 on: May 02, 2019, 12:06:15 PM »
Whatever is up there must really be worth the money and effort. An arse-faced man, maybe? Or a man-faced arse?

Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #147 on: May 02, 2019, 12:12:08 PM »
Whatever is up there must really be worth the money and effort. An arse-faced man, maybe? Or a man-faced arse?

Man-faced-arse destiny

icehaven

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #148 on: May 02, 2019, 12:13:57 PM »
a team of sherpas to pay for two months

Eh? How long does it actually take?

Edit; Just googled it, bloody hell it actually does take that long! I thought it'd be more like 2 weeks. No wonder so many people cark it en route.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: That's no way to go
« Reply #149 on: May 02, 2019, 12:49:42 PM »
Whatever is up there must really be worth the money and effort. An arse-faced man, maybe? Or a man-faced arse?

Some really effective double glazing!
( one for the teenagers, there )