I think a big part of my fascination with the subject matter is an attempt to come to terms with death itself.
the nearest I came to death, so far, was on a shoot involving helicopters. I was the video engineer, & responsible for the camera alignment & the operation of the VTR, but for the first few shots I couldn't travel with the helicopter (& frankly, didn't really want to) so I waited in a disused car-park for the helicopters to return. when the one with the camera mounted in it landed, I rushed out, m*a*s*h style, to rewind the tape & check the take. I ran under the tail-boom. you can't see the tail-rotor of a jet ranger when it's running.
anyway, the pilot gave me a good bollocking. if you have to approach helicopters while the engines are running, you're supposed to go at them from the front so the pilot can see you.
years later, I found a picture on 4chan or somewhere of some poor fucker on an aircraft carrier who'd been hit in the head by a tail-rotor. what was left of him. it haunts me yet, but I'm still staring into the abyss too.