How Americans Eat Steak

[alan nagsworth]

really we should just be using our hands like the indians of olden america did

used their hands to eat, and were so unwasteful that they used the whole hands

no need for cutlery, just eat using hands

no need for food either actually. just eat your own hands

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Enjoying the deep dive analysis tonight - cheers

[touchingcloth]

Kleeneze is like the shitter version of pointless lakeland tat. Are you a weirdo who wants a kitchen roll holder that looks like a cat? How about a tent to put over your vacuum cleaner that looks like a french maid? Have you decided this is all shit? Don't even think about chucking this out as it's inexplicably my property still and I get very precious about it.

My parents did Kleeneze for a bit, the dicks. The reason for the thing of sellers being possessive and weird over the free magazines they put through your doors is that, besides making zero money as a seller, they make you buy the magazines you go spamming people with. I remember they used to also buy little ziplock bags as well so people could leave their orders out on their porch without ruining their precious free magazines before they had had a chance to post it to another person.

I now always throw Kleeneze mags in the bin the moment one lands on my hall floor.

Desolate.

[Twed]

This is all bollocks btw, I've directly sampled eight Americans and all but one of them has never heard of this way of eating steak, except for one person who referred to the same weird fucking family of manchildren that form my one example.

[The Boston Crab]

Just popped into make a comment about asking for the temperature you want your steak cooked and then replying mid rare but I already did it more eruditely four posts ago.

Twed raised an interesting point about why chopsticks developed. I always understood it was because the food is sliced because it's cooked in a wok so each element cooks through uniformly, whether meat or vegetables.

[Bazooka]

Ive also heard its so you don't woof down the food too fast, but Ive seen bowls of lava hot noodles demolished in a minute.

[Ferris]

Chopsticks don't slow me down so that's bollocks - I doubt I could shovel the grub into my noodle-hole any faster with western utensils.

And while we're on steak cooking, here's a handy guide. You can use your hands to test how your steak has been cooked.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I've tried that, but could never get it right. I don't think I'm a very good judge of the firmness of my palm in relation to meat, so I just bought a meat thermometer instead.

[H-O-W-L]

I don't like steak because I have to cut it up to fit it through my hatch.

[Ferris]

I've tried that, but could never get it right. I don't think I'm a very good judge of the firmness of my palm in relation to meat, so I just bought a meat thermometer instead.

Yeah I've never got it to work when cooking meat either - I use it to check steak in a restaurant (discreetly, I'm not a twat) or as a talking point at dinner parties because everyone likes that sort of "feels like we're knowledgeable" sort of thing.

[JesusAndYourBush]

https://www.livestrong.com/article/512335-proper-manners-when-cutting-a-steak/

This article is hilarious. It offers both obvious ways of eating a steak, as if there's a third way people would otherwise default to.

After cutting the first bite, place the knife on the plate. Do not let it touch the table or tablecloth after using it. Transfer the fork to your right hand, spear the piece of steak you just cut,

But... if you've just cut a piece then you were holding it down with the knife, so it's already on the knife.  So instead of just popping it into your gob like a normal person that article is suggesting you unspear the meat from the fork, put the knife down, transfer the fork to the other hand, re-spear the meat with the fork, then eat it.  What a stupid and unnecessary palaver.  I'm annoyed now.

EDIT: Ah I didn't realise there were 4 pages.  *goes off to read pages 2 to 4 and probably get even more annoyed*

[Birdie]

But... if you've just cut a piece then you were holding it down with the knife, so it's already on the knife.  So instead of just popping it into your gob like a normal person that article is suggesting you unspear the meat from the fork, put the knife down, transfer the fork to the other hand, re-spear the meat with the fork, then eat it.  What a stupid and unnecessary palaver.  I'm annoyed now.

EDIT: Ah I didn't realise there were 4 pages.  *goes off to read pages 2 to 4 and probably get even more annoyed*

It's all just because Americans believe it's bad manners to put food in your mouth with your fork in your left hand.  There are worse things in the world.