Knock Offs

[Bazooka]

Just been up town to the market, and beggars belief saw 11 pairs of Nike Air trainers for £2.50, was not going to pass on this ,the merchant hysterically laughing as he took my coin seemed genuine. But got home and tried them on and they weren't Nike, they were Nicola Sturgeon's verruca socks in Nike boxes!!!

[rasta-spouse]

I went to the same market and bought The Godfather Collection: The Linear Cut. Took it home and started playing it, the screen was just blank. Turns out it was Johann Hari compressed - he pulled himself out of the disc slot, calmly unfolded and gave me a talk on modern depression. But it's the one he's been doing on all the podcasts so I'd heard it.

[Glebe]

I bought a pair of Dolce & Gabbana deodorant/boxer shorts packs, but when I got them home I realised they were a knock off called Dulce & Garbage! What a swizz!

[Bazooka]

Warning, do not buy from Dirty Dennis opposite Heron foods, took my watch to him to take a link out of the strap, and the fucker took way too many out, so when I put it on, I lost all circulation in my hand, got gangrene and my hand fell off.

[Gregory Torso]

I bought a twelve pack of white chocolate Twixes from a place called "World Of Quid" for a pound. Imagine my disappointment when I returned home, opened one of them, and clouds of sarin gas poured into my eyes and mouth and nose. I probably won't go back there again.