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Mystic Megs 101% accurate predictions.

Started by Bazooka, May 07, 2019, 12:00:03 PM

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Bazooka

Hi everyone, long time no see. Mystic Meg here, I've just bought a new crystal ball from Poundstretcher and its 101% accurate. You are my buddies, so I'm here to tell you what's going to happen.

2020: Mustard is illegal, having it on your person carries a 15 year prison sentence, wholegrain 16 years.

2021: Christopher Biggins is appointed the decision maker for all flights out of Doncaster airport.

2022: All baseball caps will be made out of ham.

2022: The Isle of Man will be blown into Vietnam due to a windfarm malfunction.

2023: All school meals in the UK will be supplied by Nandos.

More predictions to come soon.

Spoon of Ploff

On the spirit plain the Amazing Criswell suddenly develops an eye twitch.

seepage

Nothing on that list is surprising - she's not really stretching herself, is she? And I thought the last one had happened already.

Glebe


Bazooka

Hi darlings its Mystic Meg here again. I've just eaten some crystals so the predictions are now 102% accurate.

2024: James Cameron will direct an episode of Bargain Hunt using Avatar technology.

2025: People will be able to download podcasts directly into their genitals via an Ethernet cable.

2026: Speedboats and submarines will be allowed in the Cambridge & Oxford boat race.

2027: All business will have to accept used condoms as currency, the tender is based on how full of spunk they are, for example an overflowing one is the equivalent to £100 sterling.

Norton Canes

Hi Meg is anyone going to do anything about radishes?

Bazooka

Quote from: Norton Canes on May 07, 2019, 04:15:37 PM
Hi Meg is anyone going to do anything about radishes?

Hi honey, its Mystic Meg

I've just eaten a falling star so my predictions are 103% accurate. Yes Radishes will play a big part in peoples lives.

2028: Radishes have replaced passports as the ultimate form of identification. In a system overhaul to make things more efficient, you now simply carve an effigy of your face into a radish, replacing the archaic showing of the passport.
In airports radishes are handed out at baggage check in.

Glebe

"I see a country divided, war is at hand! Brother shall kill brother, because of the brexits!"

Shaky

I had no idea you were now 76 years old, Mystic Meg. Christ.

Bazooka

Quote from: Shaky on May 08, 2019, 01:04:24 PM
I had no idea you were now 76 years old, Mystic Meg. Christ.

Do not fear age my Child, just eat some crystals.