Author Topic: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)  (Read 3695 times)

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #90 on: May 12, 2019, 05:57:16 PM »
Bloody hell, this sounds horrendous. It sounds like you already have a plan of action and will be leaving him to fester in his own misery, but for what it's worth, could the other CAB - Citizens Advice Bureau - be worth getting in touch with? Their site has a section about discrimination in rented housing, which sounds like it could definitely apply here. I've not used their services but looked into it when my agency were being dicks a few years ago, might be some useful info here: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/discrimination-in-housing/checking-if-its-discrimination/if-someones-harassed-you-in-housing/

I'll also add to the cacophony of voices suggesting you try to record this twat if you can. I had a horrible night a couple of weeks ago (on a Tuesday night), when my upstairs neighbours - four guys who I'm guessing are about 20 - came home at midnight and were stomping around, talking loudly and shouting with their balcony window open, so I could hear everything word for word.

After a couple of hours of being unable to sleep, I went up and knocked on their flat door and asked if they could keep it down a bit as I had to work in the morning - they were a bit hostile, saying they were just talking and I couldn't expect them to not talk in their own flat. I said I understood it wasn't their fault that the sound insulation between the floors was so crappy, but it wasn't my fault either, and I had to be up at 6 regardless and didn't think it was unreasonable to ask them to keep the noise down at 2am on a weeknight. (Not saying that people with 9-5 type jobs should be treated as a priority - I haven't got a clue what they actually do, I don't think they're students but I assume they don't work during the day - but it's not like I've ever knowingly disturbed them, and ultimately if you live in the top floor of a shared building you have to be respectful of the fact that people can hear you, whatever your schedule is.)

They sort of relented, I went back to bed, but about an hour after that they'd started playing music (the same shitty techno they always play with the bass cranked up) and were banging around. I went back up and knocked again several times, loudly, and they ignored me. I left a note on their door saying I'd complain to the landlord if it carried on, and went back to bed. When I was back in my flat they'd really cranked it up and were going absolutely mental, whooping and screaming and stamping on the floor and throwing stuff, or it sounded like it anyway. This was still going on when I had to leave the flat for work at 7am.

There was no way I was getting any sleep by that point so I just calmly filmed it on my phone (showing the clock, and also my bedroom door rattling in its frame every time they hurled themselves around the room upstairs) before going to work on about 10 minutes of sleep. I sent the videos to my landlord the next day and thankfully he gave the main tenant a talking to, threatening to call the police if it happened again, and it's been blissful silence ever since. It doesn't sound like your landlady would be as accommodating sadly, but it's never bad to have some sort of evidence with a time and date stamp on it.

Thank you for the advice, and christ, I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience too though at least your landlord is a decent sort who managed to help out.

Hide his shoes.

Fine, as it's you, I'll do so just this once!

Pingers

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #91 on: May 13, 2019, 08:44:36 PM »
I just feel like I need to make the point again - WHAT AN EGREGIOUS CUNT. I've lived with some detritus in my time, but this guy takes the fucking cake. If he hates you that much you must be a solid mensch, so congratulations. If you do need any help with a deposit for somewhere else, I would chip in.

Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #92 on: May 13, 2019, 09:45:52 PM »
Your landlord (or, more likely, the person subletting the place and telling you they are the landlord) sounds like a cunt.

My advice is to stop paying rent. Tell her it's because of the unreasonable living situation. Make your problem her problem. See what happens.  You're planning to move out soon anyway, so fuck it. By the time she can actually evict you, you'll be long gone.


Pingers

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #93 on: May 13, 2019, 11:47:00 PM »
Your landlord (or, more likely, the person subletting the place and telling you they are the landlord) sounds like a cunt.

My advice is to stop paying rent. Tell her it's because of the unreasonable living situation. Make your problem her problem. See what happens.  You're planning to move out soon anyway, so fuck it. By the time she can actually evict you, you'll be long gone.

Withholding rent is very rarely a good idea, there are few situations where the law is on your side. Once SMBH was 8 weeks in arrears the landlord could serve a section 8 notice and apply for a court order for eviction.

Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #94 on: May 13, 2019, 11:49:30 PM »
My advice is to stop paying rent. Tell her it's because of the unreasonable living situation. Make your problem her problem. See what happens. 

Acid

St_Eddie

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #95 on: May 14, 2019, 12:02:21 AM »
Withholding rent is very rarely a good idea, there are few situations where the law is on your side. Once SMBH was 8 weeks in arrears the landlord could serve a section 8 notice and apply for a court order for eviction.

She might also chuck acid in his face.

EDIT: Oops.  I failed to notice that Danger Man had already said that.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #96 on: May 14, 2019, 11:16:18 AM »
I just feel like I need to make the point again - WHAT AN EGREGIOUS CUNT. I've lived with some detritus in my time, but this guy takes the fucking cake. If he hates you that much you must be a solid mensch, so congratulations. If you do need any help with a deposit for somewhere else, I would chip in.

He really is, and I didn't even mention everything he said as, well, it would have taken too long but it also included some truly horrible things about Mrs SMBH too, he has enormous issues with the fact that we're both overweight. Thanks for the kind words though, and the offer re: helping with the deposit - it's enormously appreciated and I'm truly touched by such a thing, but I think we should be okay.

Normally I'm able to shrug off things like this but I have to admit it it's staying with me, I think because the landlord was such a cunt about it and sided with him, the last couple of nights when I've been trying to sleep it's been something I can't stop feeling irritated by. I know that'll pass, but it's a bloody annoying situation.

Your landlord (or, more likely, the person subletting the place and telling you they are the landlord) sounds like a cunt.

My advice is to stop paying rent. Tell her it's because of the unreasonable living situation. Make your problem her problem. See what happens.  You're planning to move out soon anyway, so fuck it. By the time she can actually evict you, you'll be long gone.

It's tempting but it may prevent us from getting a reference for our next place so I'm not going to risk it. Oh yeah, and as others have mentioned, the acid thing wouldn't be good either.

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #97 on: May 14, 2019, 11:41:28 AM »
Normally I'm able to shrug off things like this but I have to admit it it's staying with me, I think because the landlord was such a cunt about it and sided with him, the last couple of nights when I've been trying to sleep it's been something I can't stop feeling irritated by. I know that'll pass, but it's a bloody annoying situation.

This is perfectly normal. Anyone would be fuming in this situation.

Notlob

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #98 on: May 14, 2019, 01:25:51 PM »
Another post to say you are awesome, he is a sadly-failed abortion.
A lot of good advice in here -filming, sound recording and pictures are all a good idea.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #99 on: May 14, 2019, 07:26:30 PM »
This is perfectly normal. Anyone would be fuming in this situation.

I guess, I'm just annoyed with myself that I can't put it out of my mind. Still, when I move out (petty) revenge will be had, and I can't wait for that day.

Another post to say you are awesome, he is a sadly-failed abortion.
A lot of good advice in here -filming, sound recording and pictures are all a good idea.

Thank you, that's really kind of you to say. And I'm thinking of ways I can get a sneaky photo, if only to put it on here and hopefully people will photoshop it!

Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #100 on: May 14, 2019, 07:31:51 PM »
Do you all have cupboards in the communal kitchen?

Get a magazine and cut a load of eyes out and stick (one they have to be single) an eye on every jar and tin they own.

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #101 on: May 14, 2019, 08:07:01 PM »
As you're fully aware, I think you're as lovely as pie, SMBH.  It actually causes me cringing mental pain to think of this pathetic little human, not worthy to lick the smears from your mousemat, being so ridiculously hysterical at you.  He must be very lost indeed.

My advice is to get your arse and your lovely partner's lady-arse, out of that dodge soon as.  All the other stuff, like recording and so on, yes, good.  But I don't think you want a fight, you just want to live in a sweet good way.  IMO, leaving all these fucked up twats to haunt each other is the answer.  Leave fucking London too.  Find somewhere lovely, away from all the crud and breathe in the beauty.

In extremis, I do now have a very nice battery-powered drill and all the bits in all the diameters for all materials, you're very welcome to borrow it.  I can even come and show you how to use it if you're unsure.  Or a nail gun if you're more classic.  I assume you have an iron in the house.

Hug you.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #102 on: May 15, 2019, 11:06:17 AM »
As you're fully aware, I think you're as lovely as pie, SMBH.  It actually causes me cringing mental pain to think of this pathetic little human, not worthy to lick the smears from your mousemat, being so ridiculously hysterical at you.  He must be very lost indeed.

My advice is to get your arse and your lovely partner's lady-arse, out of that dodge soon as.  All the other stuff, like recording and so on, yes, good.  But I don't think you want a fight, you just want to live in a sweet good way.  IMO, leaving all these fucked up twats to haunt each other is the answer.  Leave fucking London too.  Find somewhere lovely, away from all the crud and breathe in the beauty.

In extremis, I do now have a very nice battery-powered drill and all the bits in all the diameters for all materials, you're very welcome to borrow it.  I can even come and show you how to use it if you're unsure.  Or a nail gun if you're more classic.  I assume you have an iron in the house.

Hug you.

Aw, thank you, that does mean a lot. Though I am shocked and appalled by the suggestion I should use a portable drill or nailgun on him, that's a terrible thing to say. But yes, please, do come over and help me out using them!

Buelligan

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #103 on: May 15, 2019, 11:56:44 AM »
Heheh.  I'll fetch my tools.

Seriously though, do not let this awful problem-ridden toad pierce your lovely carapace.  Just sail on by baby, knowing you'll be moving on but he will always be trapped inside of him.

On a cheering note, my shitbag-leaving obsessive semi-neighbour stood mouthing obscenities at me the other night, I just laughed in his face and stood my ground until he turned tail and scuttled off.  All things will pass.

Pingers

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #104 on: May 15, 2019, 01:04:26 PM »
Still, when I move out (petty) revenge will be had, and I can't wait for that day.


You could inject super-hot chili powder into his lube

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #105 on: May 15, 2019, 01:10:08 PM »
I was listening to Limmy's morning stream this morning and he said that to stop his brother using his toothbrush he put bleach on it.

He waited the next morning for his brother's cry of distress, only to hear his dad going 'Argh!! What?!'. So it was his dad all along! It also burned his mouth up.

Apropos of nothing, of course.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #106 on: May 15, 2019, 08:26:36 PM »
Heheh.  I'll fetch my tools.

Seriously though, do not let this awful problem-ridden toad pierce your lovely carapace.  Just sail on by baby, knowing you'll be moving on but he will always be trapped inside of him.

I am doing my best, though it's made difficult by him still being a shit, Mrs SMBH was shouted at him today in the most ridiculous of situations, she asked someone in the kitchen if she could get to the microwave and he was also in the room and screamed "Watch your back!" in a bizarrely loud manner, god knows what the twat is thinking.

Still, I've now got photos of him after discovering his social media account, so shall have fun with those in the week leading to my moving out.

Quote
On a cheering note, my shitbag-leaving obsessive semi-neighbour stood mouthing obscenities at me the other night, I just laughed in his face and stood my ground until he turned tail and scuttled off.  All things will pass.

Heh, glad you managed to annoy him in such a way. I did laugh at one point when he started shouting about how much more amazing he was and he got annoyed by that, so if there's another situation like that I shall laugh in his face for a long old time.

You could inject super-hot chili powder into his lube

I was listening to Limmy's morning stream this morning and he said that to stop his brother using his toothbrush he put bleach on it.

He waited the next morning for his brother's cry of distress, only to hear his dad going 'Argh!! What?!'. So it was his dad all along! It also burned his mouth up.

Apropos of nothing, of course.

Unfortunately the landlord has demanded that we keep everything bathroom related in our rooms, so I wouldn't be able to do such a thing. Not that I would of course. Oh no.

Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #107 on: May 15, 2019, 09:54:29 PM »
Shame you can't get into his bedroom (or the loft if his bedroom is beneath it)

You could leave behind something foul smelling and hard to locate.

Buelligan

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #108 on: May 15, 2019, 10:25:53 PM »
I did laugh at one point when he started shouting about how much more amazing he was and he got annoyed by that, so if there's another situation like that I shall laugh in his face for a long old time.

Make sure you hold on to this plan.  Build up a story about standing alone in a pleasant isolated space and thinking calmly about the funniest/cleverest/bravest thing you ever did in your head.  Go there every time you see him.

There is nothing that infuriates and defeats an angry enemy more than having a chilled smirk, being genuinely relaxed and unmoved by their drama.  Meeting their eyes without the merest hint of aggression or fear. 

And the other good thing about using this technique is that it stops you getting infected by that nasty stressy adrenaline rush and downer that usually comes with an interaction like that. 

Go get him, Hoss.

St_Eddie

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #109 on: May 15, 2019, 10:31:43 PM »
Shame you can't get into his bedroom (or the loft if his bedroom is beneath it)

You could leave behind something foul smelling and hard to locate.

Prawns behind the radiator.  Sulphur under the bed and a turd in a closed shoe box, marked with a label which reads 'only to be opened if you're not a massive bellend'.  He might find the first two but he'll never locate the third/turd.

Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #110 on: May 16, 2019, 09:11:36 AM »
Pulll a knife and say you'll stab him through the heart if he ever speaks to you that way again. Mean it. That will put a stop to the bullying.

That or my usual tactic - say shit that is mental and frightening; like tell him you'll eat his eyes, tell him if he speaks to you with any aggression or hostility again, you'll blind him for the rest of his life. Mean it.

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #111 on: May 16, 2019, 01:09:44 PM »
Say " I've had your mum " to him, then point him to a video that you've put up on YouTube , In which  you are actually having his mum.
( You'll have to meet up with his mum , then get her to agree to you having her, then covertly film it beforehand. Or do a fake video like they did on that last series of " Fargo" )
( Also, please bear in mind that with any of these recommended methods, there is always the risk that yer man will thump you. )

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #112 on: May 16, 2019, 01:37:18 PM »

Unfortunately the landlord has demanded that we keep everything bathroom related in our rooms...

What?! OK that's not possible, Landlords simply don't have the authority to micromanage their tenant's lives to that degree at all, so don't believe it. Even if there was something like that in the contract it'd surely be easily overruled as unreasonable if challenged. Of course as it is you're probably more comfortable keeping your stuff away from communal areas anyway, however there's no way your landlord can tell you you have to, that's utter bollocks.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2019, 04:56:36 PM by icehaven »

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #113 on: May 16, 2019, 04:41:06 PM »
What?! OK that's not possible, Landlords simply don't have the authority to micromanage their tenant's lives to that degree at all, so don't believe it. Even if there was something like that in the contract it'd surely be easily overruled as unreasonable if challenged. Of course as it is you're probably more comfortable keeping your stuff away from communal areas anyway, however there's no way your landlord can tell you you have too, that's utter bollocks.

He could shit the bed before he leaves and say he was just following the rules.

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #114 on: May 16, 2019, 05:52:50 PM »
Fucking hell, SMBH, this sounds horrendous to live with.  Regarding revenge, though, for goodness' sake make sure nothing you do is likely to get you into trouble or inflame the situation.  And the landlady threatening to throw acid at people?  That's taken very seriously these days - if I were you I'd mention it to the police if you have to contact them again.

Have a massive Welsh hug or six, and I hope you and Mrs SMBH get out of that poisonous situation ASAP.

Endicott

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #115 on: May 16, 2019, 05:59:54 PM »
Does the fellow not have a bicycle seat you could interfere with SMBH? Best of luck and don't let the bastards grind you down.

touchingcloth

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #116 on: May 16, 2019, 06:01:58 PM »
You know when people say "I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck"?

Well, I reckon that in the whole course of human history no one has ever actually made good on that thread. How do you feel about blazed trails, SMBH?

Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #117 on: May 16, 2019, 06:31:28 PM »
Recently I've been thinking of giving up my studio flat and moving into a houseshare. More sociable I thought. Make some pals I thought. Then I read this thread.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #118 on: May 16, 2019, 09:08:17 PM »
Make sure you hold on to this plan.  Build up a story about standing alone in a pleasant isolated space and thinking calmly about the funniest/cleverest/bravest thing you ever did in your head.  Go there every time you see him.

There is nothing that infuriates and defeats an angry enemy more than having a chilled smirk, being genuinely relaxed and unmoved by their drama.  Meeting their eyes without the merest hint of aggression or fear. 

And the other good thing about using this technique is that it stops you getting infected by that nasty stressy adrenaline rush and downer that usually comes with an interaction like that. 

Go get him, Hoss.

I shall! Probably not until the week before we move out, but then I might spend the entire time laughing in his face.

Shame you can't get into his bedroom (or the loft if his bedroom is beneath it)

You could leave behind something foul smelling and hard to locate.

He does somewhat oddly leave the key in his door all the time, but I'm worried he may one day be in there, or someone might see me either go in or come out, so I'm not going to risk it, even though the many suggestions of what I could leave in there (especially those of St. Eddie's) are so so tempting.

Pulll a knife and say you'll stab him through the heart if he ever speaks to you that way again. Mean it. That will put a stop to the bullying.

That or my usual tactic - say shit that is mental and frightening; like tell him you'll eat his eyes, tell him if he speaks to you with any aggression or hostility again, you'll blind him for the rest of his life. Mean it.

I have a feeling he'd be straight on to the landlord and the police, and as the former has a bizarre crush on him that'd be enough to get me evicted. And who knows, maybe the latter do too.

Say " I've had your mum " to him, then point him to a video that you've put up on YouTube , In which  you are actually having his mum.
( You'll have to meet up with his mum , then get her to agree to you having her, then covertly film it beforehand. Or do a fake video like they did on that last series of " Fargo" )
( Also, please bear in mind that with any of these recommended methods, there is always the risk that yer man will thump you. )

I've asked Mrs SMBH and I'm not allowed to have sex with anyone bar her, not even for revenge purposes. Which just seems mean to me. But I genuinely wouldn't care if he did thump me, as then I could get the po po involved straight away.

What?! OK that's not possible, Landlords simply don't have the authority to micromanage their tenant's lives to that degree at all, so don't believe it. Even if there was something like that in the contract it'd surely be easily overruled as unreasonable if challenged. Of course as it is you're probably more comfortable keeping your stuff away from communal areas anyway, however there's no way your landlord can tell you you have to, that's utter bollocks.

Yeah, she's all kinds of weird, but like you say (and especially right now) I'm quite glad not to have anything of mine he could shove up his arse / piss on.

Fucking hell, SMBH, this sounds horrendous to live with.  Regarding revenge, though, for goodness' sake make sure nothing you do is likely to get you into trouble or inflame the situation.  And the landlady threatening to throw acid at people?  That's taken very seriously these days - if I were you I'd mention it to the police if you have to contact them again.

Have a massive Welsh hug or six, and I hope you and Mrs SMBH get out of that poisonous situation ASAP.

Aw, thanks Cerys, that is appreciated. And when it comes to revenge it will be of the childish and petty variety, and taken just before we move, so there wouldn't be any serious repercussions.

Does the fellow not have a bicycle seat you could interfere with SMBH? Best of luck and don't let the bastards grind you down.

Heh, I've been waiting for someone to remember that! But alas no, though interfering with his door handle is very tempting.

You know when people say "I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck"?

Well, I reckon that in the whole course of human history no one has ever actually made good on that thread. How do you feel about blazed trails, SMBH?

I just tried to rip the head off of my toy panda (I use it for the Chinese kids lessons before anyone suggests it's a bizarre sex toy) and couldn't, so don't like my chances with a human head. But on the day we move I'll give it a shot just for you.

Recently I've been thinking of giving up my studio flat and moving into a houseshare. More sociable I thought. Make some pals I thought. Then I read this thread.

Yeah, I lived in a bedsit for about 15 years and though it wasn't ideal the minimal interaction with others is something I miss, there were some odd people over the years who lived in the same building but thankfully I rarely had to speak to them.

St_Eddie

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Re: Shit Housemate (Thread no. 217)
« Reply #119 on: May 18, 2019, 01:20:14 AM »
Pulll a knife and say you'll stab him through the heart if he ever speaks to you that way again. Mean it. That will put a stop to the bullying.

That or my usual tactic - say shit that is mental and frightening; like tell him you'll eat his eyes, tell him if he speaks to you with any aggression or hostility again, you'll blind him for the rest of his life. Mean it.

Ah, please.  Everyone knows that your bark is worse than your bite, poochie.