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March 28, 2024, 01:20:52 PM

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Cricket 2019

Started by iamcoop, May 14, 2019, 08:29:50 PM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!

Yes the whole attitude that Sky are doing us this massive favour* is fucking sickening, but worse still the sense that we are supposed to be grateful for it.


*part of 1 game being on a Channel who are going to be screening the British Grand Prix and who aren't heavily promoting this. Thanks Sky for temporarily and one time only releasing cricket to the status of televised horse racing in the 1990s.

poo

Aye, CUNTS.

Anyway, got a match tomorrow. I'll be throwing my wicket at the first opportunity to get back to my picnic chair, pint can of Stella and TMS.

MiddleRabbit

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 13, 2019, 08:55:11 AM
Yes the whole attitude that Sky are doing us this massive favour* is fucking sickening, but worse still the sense that we are supposed to be grateful for it.


*part of 1 game being on a Channel who are going to be screening the British Grand Prix and who aren't heavily promoting this. Thanks Sky for temporarily and one time only releasing cricket to the status of televised horse racing in the 1990s.

Here was tons of horse racing on telly in the 90s.  In fact, the cricket coverage on channel 4 used to get interrupted continually for it. 

Shoulders?-Stomach!

That's exactly what I mean.

On Sunday it'll be cricket on telly interrupted by F1

ArtParrott

Quote from: poo on July 13, 2019, 10:32:49 AM
Aye, CUNTS.

Anyway, got a match tomorrow. I'll be throwing my wicket at the first opportunity to get back to my picnic chair, pint can of Stella and TMS.

Can't tell if poo is excited about the final or not

Starting to absolutely shit myself.

iamcoop

Welcome to the day of the great British sadness and desolation.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: iamcoop on July 14, 2019, 10:16:44 AM
Welcome to the day of the great British sadness and desolation.

Nah mate really wouldn't greatly care at this point. We've beaten India, Australia and New Zealand already. Got nothing to prove, will be genuinely delighted for New Zealand if they do this.

I'm pretty sure the first 15 overs here will decide the game.

poo

WHAT THE CUNTING FUCK IS THIS 1966 PONCEBALL SHITE ON THE CUNTING SKY

poo

When is this prick kicking off?

poo


poo


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Curran and Dawson there looking excited to be involved

poo

Atmos seems shit with all the non partisans.

poo

Fucking Lords. Hate Lords.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Wicket looks weird. Those blue markers. Well green. Like AstroTurf or some shit

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Surface is a fucking pudding. Where is the bounce. Hope Archer finds it

I also don't think we have anything to prove. We've cunted everyone who matters. Oz might not even turn up for the Ashes now. India are still forcing down a bowl of unpalatable dogshit. Kiwi win would be well deserved for them, too.


I think we're going to lose.

poo

The slope at Lords can go and fuck itself as far as I'm concerned. In fact I'm not even going to acknowledge it any more. As far as I'm concerned it doesn't exist, so no point even talking about it anymore. Doesn't register with me. Total blind spot in my brain. Doesn't exist.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Dharmasena absolute wank again

I'll never forget a video I had of great World Cup goals. The 1974 final, Holland vs West Germany. The Dutch team kept the ball for thirty passes and scored before the Germans even had a touch. Some Dutch player was quoted, and it's haunted me ever since.

"We were dreaming that we were World champions. We woke up, too late."

This is England 2019.

The only reassurance after this completely fucking shit start is that if they go big, we can go TOTAL HAM. Could be the first ever 500 chase.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Get fucking shit face smegma burns victim cunt Piers Morgan off my telly you wanker

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The delivery speed brought to you by Uber Eats

Switch satire off, humans are done

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Guptill gone not even AIDSpire could fuck that decision up

Big fella was looking to go HAM so that's a massive wicket and they also blew the review. Great stuff for us. Jofra now looking unplayable with that fucking SLOPE. If we get Kane in the next few overs, I think we can start engraving.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Right

Chin party slammers now here Archer mate

Must be time for a change.

Yep.

Who got da Plunk?

WE got da Plunk!

Who got da...who got da... WE got da Plunk!

Da Plunk Junkeez.

*The Funk Junkeez - Got Funk? (Da Mongoloids Funktastic Funk Mix) [Strictly Rhythm - 1997]*

Thursday

We've already AIDS'd this up beyond repair, I can feel it.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Get those Australian and India fans out

Get them out of the ground. Security.

So what paid your ticket well fuck off here's a reimbursement. Get out.