In Conversation with...God

[BlodwynPig]

I had a presentation in Waterloo today...40 minutes by car but 3.5 hours by bloody shitty Canadian bus. So, as a treat, I popped into my favourite Belgian beer house/restaurant in Hamilton.

I ordered some interesting Mexican beer and some Brussels sprouts and upon returning from the bathroom (not sprout related) noticed I had company at the bar. A gentleman perhaps in his 50s or 60s. I always try and make conversation in this place and he was discussing the amazing flavours of the Imperial stout he was drinking, so I asked him about that.

Shortly thereafter he dropped into the conversation that he had suffered from mental health issues in the past and these visits to this place were treats to reward himself for overcoming the 'psychosis'. He then swiftly moved onto the fact he had just come from 'pissing off a pentecostal minister' and so began an evening of increasingly bizarre but benign religious chat (there is no hell, Jesus is not God, all faiths together is the true faith, satanism is dangerous, really dangerous). I humoured him, I found him pleasant and interesting, if somewhat all over the place, which I guessed comes from a place of loneliness and mental health problems. I sympathised with that and was gentle.

Anyway, I tried to lighten the topic as he did seem to be building up a fervour. After he told me that he had "seen things that people wouldn't believe" (the exact replicant words), I pushed him on this. He said he couldn't tell me much in public but recounted one incident in a low whisper.

"I was making love on the beach. There were huge waves, unusual waves for the location. They embraced us as we experienced a ecstatic passion. In the back of my mind though I was worried my phone would get wet *apparently in his trouser pocket, so his pants must have been around his ankles, although he alluded to them being fully on*. However, our love was so strong I quickly put that to the back of my mind. The waves subsided and I was soaked through, so was he. However, I felt in my pocket and the phone and surrounding material was bone dry. Now, you may say this was a psychosis or a hallucination, but my lover said his pocket was also dry."

I asked him where this happened.

"Toronto"

There are beaches in Toronto, so this story could be true and the waves may be whipped up in a storm. Who am I to judge him. It was told in a very hypnotic way, juxtaposed with the "startling for prudes" beginning. It turns out he had a revelation 3 weeks ago and since that time his mental health problems have all gone. Maybe it was the drink in me or just fatigue, but I thought he had somewhat of a leer when telling me this. He then proceeded to bore the waitress with a tale of Jewish heaven, so I made my excuses and left - hoping to bump into him again someday in the future.

[Ferris]

The biggest wave I've seen on beach in Toronto was the one I gave to the barman on Centre Island to bring me another beer.

This man may be talking truth, but must be mistaken on the location.

[BlodwynPig]

The biggest wave I've seen on beach in Toronto was the one I gave to the barman on Centre Island to bring me another beer.

This man may be talking truth, but must be mistaken on the location.

It was a flat "Toronto" a counter inflection to the fevered story-telling.

[Ferris]

It was a flat "Toronto" a counter inflection to the fevered story-telling.

"Chranno"?

If so, he may have been a local and the story could have additional credence.

[BlodwynPig]

"Chranno"?

If so, he may have been a local and the story could have additional credence.

No, Tor-On-Toe (but he was in the steel industry for 40 years "How much damage have I done to this Earth? But God will forgive me, I think")

[Ferris]

No, Tor-On-Toe (but he was in the steel industry for 40 years "How much damage have I done to this Earth? But God will forgive me, I think")

Fucking tourists.

How will god forgive him if he's god?

[BlodwynPig]

Fucking tourists.

How will god forgive him if he's god?

"Is Jesus God? He tells us not, although many believe he is. The ancient scrolls tell us many things"

How can others forgive you if you cannot forgive yourself (my own quote, to directly answer your question)

[bgmnts]

Just sounds like a mentalist. On the account of the weird things he was saying and his own admission that he is a mentalist.

[Ferris]

Just sounds like a mentalist. On the account of the weird things he was saying and his own admission that he is a mentalist.

Heretic.

[Twed]

Thanks for the chat today Blodwyn, it was nice meeting you.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That anecdote, at a loss of a more obscure cultural touchstone, reminds me of the anecdotes and dream descriptions on Twin Peaks. The fervour, the fixated vividness, but also the overarching lack of purpose to it.

The phone/pocket thing is a truly banal moment of epiphany, if that's what started it.

[Twit 2]

Seems likely that he'd had a children's book day at the beach - making sandcastles, chasing after a button etc - that steadily descended into lewdness. Chortling at an ice cream turned to grim buggerings, complete with bellowing, as flailing fleet failed to make purchase on the sands. He probably took sex drugs with an octopus, too. By the time all the grit had been scraped from their recta, the magic of the day had worn thin and so he decided to spin a yarn about JESUS to make up for the loss of enchantment. I bet if you'd inspected his grot, it would have been full of tiny pretty shells.

[Ronalado]

RONALADO have no faith. is difficult.

Garrett BEL say 'is eay RONALADO. is pimpse' but who is it can love RONALADO more?

For sure is some place to experiment and RONALAOD thanks Browniepig2000 for this tweet

[touchingcloth]

Sol they were both fully trousered while making damp love in an ocean which doesn't exist?

[ASFTSN]

Thought I was reading a Laird Barron short story for a second there.

[EOLAN]

Sounds like he was just after recently watching "From Here to Eternity" and turning himself into Burt Lancaster.

[Buelligan]

Is the beach sandy or pebbly in Toronto?  If the answer is sandy, I think you can safely rule out any idea of being carried off by intense passion.  Even God would know this.

[Ferris]

Is the beach sandy or pebbly in Toronto?  If the answer is sandy, I think you can safely rule out any idea of being carried off by intense passion.  Even God would know this.

Mainly sandy, but there are a few pebble beaches if you know where to look and they are secluded enough for erotic fever-dreams to take place. I'd say either surface is possible.

[BlodwynPig]

Thanks for the chat today Blodwyn, it was nice meeting you.

fecking hell. When he said he'd been living in the backwoods for some years now, I should have guessed.

[BlodwynPig]

That anecdote, at a loss of a more obscure cultural touchstone, reminds me of the anecdotes and dream descriptions on Twin Peaks. The fervour, the fixated vividness, but also the overarching lack of purpose to it.

The phone/pocket thing is a truly banal moment of epiphany, if that's what started it.

I just got a shiver...you know who this guy resembled almost exactly?



FUCKING HELL

[BlodwynPig]

Is the beach sandy or pebbly in Toronto?  If the answer is sandy, I think you can safely rule out any idea of being carried off by intense passion.  Even God would know this.

I tell you what was great about the whole thing - the look in his eyes as he recounted the penetration of his soulmate in the frothy, tumultuous COSMIC WAVE.

[Captain Z]

but my lover said his pocket was also dry

I BET IT WAS, YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS.

[gib]

agree with bgmnts

[jobotic]

I bet his Chatham Pocket weren't dry.

[BlodwynPig]

agree with bgmnts

Bizarre allegiance, given you were not in conversation...with God