I'm going to shit in my pants and you can't stop me

[Pingers]

Can he not piss on his mum tomorrow? He's stealing your big moment.

Apparently tomorrow is their Sabbath or something

[Ferris]

So look everyone, I've got quite a busy afternoon ahead so it looks like I'm going to have to clamp on for a bit longer. I'd expect it to make landfall around 17:20 GMT. Sky News have been in touch and said they'd like to film it, but apparently some guy in Todmorden is saying he's going to piss on his mum and dad while they go at it at 16:00, so they don't know if they'll make it over in time.

This is all a huge bluff isn't it? A big stunt to get attention and have everyone say how great you are and "oh you mustn't do it".

Well I'm not falling for it - go ahead, shit yourself. I will be delighted when it happens.

[Pingers]

That's exactly the kind of North American cynicism we've come to expect from you, Ferris. You'll be sorry when I've got a firm, warm log nestling in my grundies.

[Ferris]

That's exactly the kind of North American cynicism we've come to expect from you, Ferris. You'll be sorry when I've got a firm, warm log nestling in my grundies.

Go ahead then lad - prove me wrong. Fire out a length of colon-turkey and make me eat my words.

We both know you won't.

[Pingers]

I will pal, I will. In fact, I'm getting some traction now. Hang on, brb

[Howj Begg]

Some real shitin' talk in here.

[Pingers]

Oh, fuck

[Pingers]

Oh Jesus, that's disgusting. Oh Christ. You know when the head's all hard and then.... Oh, fucking hell. Not sure what to do now tbh

[Pingers]

Look, I know this was about me going it alone, but does anyone have a hose?

[Ferris]

Jesus. My eyes are watering.

I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

[a duncandisorderly]

what are the rules vis a vis bid retraction?

[Pingers]

I had to bin them anyway, I was getting far too much attention from dogs. And Pancreas.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Good job