Mike Gapes activity log

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

3.30am - scrape out entire haunted grogans of own rancid foetid shit from own quadrant-scale arse crack with a blue plastic squeegee thing they use to clean crap off of windows. Kick pet pot bellied pig in the face for being an ugly fat cunt with an attitude and arse that stinks. Wank over napalmed remedials on the black web, devour limited edition beef flavour magnums in the dark, tweet message of support to Benjamin Netanyahu, back to bed

[PlanktonSideburns]

4:00am Kankle De-Stanklage (wed - 30min scrub with enzymes, followed by "fbreezebomb")

[PlanktonSideburns]

i forgot to mention, he listens to this as he does it

gets very irate if anyone asks him what he thinks of the album version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhWHsgOy46g

[pancreas]

5:45 hate-wanking through episodes of Murder She Wrote. Write 'Corbyn is a poo-head' in cum on the bathroom mirror. Leave the house and push some squirrels up some dogs. Go to hospital pretending to visit Mr Smith in Ward 25 and attempt to gain access to the morphine supplies. Success! Home to continue the macramé effigy of Thatcher.

[Ferris]

6:00am - waffles

[PlanktonSideburns]

waffles is the name of the conga eel he keeps drugged in a tank in his shed for 'purposes'

[pancreas]

poor waffles

[PlanktonSideburns]

7:30am - A nude Mike Gapes swings a vomiting conga eel around his head like some sort of hellworld garden sprinkler, screaming what he calls 'cowboy songs', one things for sure, he's going to sleep well on his 8:30am nap!

[PlanktonSideburns]

8:30 - dreamworld. he twitches under already sodden sheets, as dark unknowable beings writhe in the impossibly deep jet black waters of his sleepland, too close to where he bobs. beneath them still, machines clang and gloing, their nighttime under water work a worrying mystery to him, occasionally sending little refractory knives of light bounced off an arm or a piston. He thinks he can hear voices down there also, operators of the machine, telling their mean machine men's jokes, mocking his sad little body, perfect white in a world of black. Rise above it gapes! keep your head up, God's god has a plan for you, and you will lead the first battalion to drain all the great black oceans, stamp all the disgusting be-tentacled sea slugs that leave those indelible stains on your dayworld bedsheets, tittering back to their realm as you step back through the door, scurrying between your legs back into the depths. You will smash the machinery with the awful hairy shouldered men in them, make them squeal like women, begging for your mercy. there will be no mercy, just GAPES, the SEA SNAKE and all the time in the world to ream all the leering jokes and a lifetime of bullying out of them, pull their little wings off one by one -

10:30 - Gapes awakens, no more tired and broken than when he went to sleep, he has no memory of what happened, but he can tell by the fresh punge from the rendering plant of his matress that he had had a busy night, - he descends to his easy chair and puts on homes under the hammer

[Ferris]

10.45am - waffles again

[Gregory Torso]

10.50 - attach small bunting flags to perineum with gloy gum so that during the morning naked crab walk parade, string of said flags thus shall fly from my gooch as I announce "here comes change".

[Gregory Torso]

11.00 - burn effigy of Steve Penk in kitchen while chanting "here comes change"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

11.05 - consume 7 eggs (all the while talking and making a disgusting Fnelrggflnerggfnlegrr sound) Slither into a load of fabrics technically called a 'suit' and guffaw eggy laughter at the mental image of black children's limbs being removed by mines

[rasta-spouse]

11.10 - checks to see if Zach Braff has updated his blog.

[Gregory Torso]

11.12 - preparation of Haitian voodoo shag mannequin with corbyn-mould skin mask completed, have a plain digestive and a cup of monster before ceremony commences.

[Pingers]

Check again with neighbour when daughter turns 16
Pour Fanta on cock as piss substitute
Wank
Pie

[drummersaredeaf]

1130-1310 Defecate
1310-1320 Go back into trap for an insurance wipe

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

14.30 - Meeting with Change UK - The Independent Group.

[Spoon of Ploff]

14:40. Consider whether other metals would work better than "Iron."

[Bazooka]

15:35: 'Late to my twin brothers funeral, because I stopped off at Halfords and gaped wide enough to insert the work experience lad.'

[a duncandisorderly]

i forgot to mention, he listens to this as he does it

gets very irate if anyone asks him what he thinks of the album version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhWHsgOy46g

fucking hell, that trevor horn is worth every penny. "odor of a deadly fart" is right.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

16.55 - Design the Gapes sigil. A conga eel frantically emerging from the goatse of a bombed and raped Libyan child. Whoop in delight and whoop again. Gapes On Top. Do all of the day's worst sharts in one go, on the tube. It isn't shitting yourself if you let the poo emerge in increments is it. IS IT. Laugh at the poverty line scum having to sit there and take every sweaty shart pong from the arseholes of this grinning slagheap of dying organs and matter.

[PlanktonSideburns]

fucking hell, that trevor horn is worth every penny. "odor of a deadly fart" is right.

I really love the rock the kasbah style verse on the band demo, but the chorus is fucking shit.

Thinking of djing it in a few weeks, but drowning the shite choruses in delay

Trevor horn's finest moment:

https://youtu.be/x_jr97x8GkI

[a duncandisorderly]

I really love the rock the kasbah style verse on the band demo, but the chorus is fucking shit.

Thinking of djing it in a few weeks, but drowning the shite choruses in delay

Trevor horn's finest moment:

https://youtu.be/x_jr97x8GkI

I'm wondering if one could mash the rabin demo with the finished yes version, & somehow contrive to keep the acoustic bit at the start. I'd take a swing at it later but I've got things to do.

[PlanktonSideburns]

yea maybe theres a decent tune beteween all them versions