This is not what you think this is.

[touchingcloth]

I hate to break it to you, but they never once claimed the bacon was smokey.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Electric pepper mills are the future. Bag one next time you see one in the middle aisle of lidl

[touchingcloth]

Guanciale.  Eggs.  Parmesan.  Pepper.

Eggs? Just yolks you fucking spanner.

[Delete Delete Delete]

I'm not even sure its real Bacon mate.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've always gone with 2 eggs plus a yolk but we've already established I'm making a complete horlicks of the whole thing.

[Buelligan]

Judge stainless with draining built into the lid. They even have volume measurements running up the inside. Work on induction too. They can be put in an oven (although I've never done that 'cos I've got an actual cast iron casserole dish). They are a thing of beauty.

Are they?  But are they any good if you want to cook pasta properly?  Difficult one that.

[Buelligan]

Eggs? Just yolks you fucking spanner.

Sorry, I forgot I was talking to imbeciles.  Yolks, yes?

[touchingcloth]

At home we have a salt pig for the old Maldon, but my partner thinks it's a good idea to whizz up big batches of ground pepper and keep it in a little dish next to the salt. No no no, it quickly loses its pep like that, I say. An argument which is as yet unresolved.

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's just pasta innit. You don't need special tools. You're basically gatekeeping now.

[touchingcloth]

Sorry, I forgot I was talking to imbeciles.  Yolks, yes?

Yes, yolks you moron. Do you put cream into it as well? Honestly.

[Buelligan]

It's just pasta innit. You don't need special tools. You're basically gatekeeping now.

Apparently you do need special tools if you can't remember to reserve some pasta-cooking water in a little mug.

[touchingcloth]

There are many mugs in this thread.

[imitationleather]

Link me up to this plz boss.

[touchingcloth]

If you're cooking pasta in a pan that size, how's there even a mug of water left?

[Buelligan]

Link me up to this plz boss.

Are you intending to cook one or two peas?

[touchingcloth]

How do you cook your pasta?

You have your boiling salted water in a pan, yes?  You have your pasta in the insert, yes?

The fuck is that Trivial Pursuit cheese slice nonsense? Throw the inserts in the bin and cook it in the big main body of the pan CHRIST

[imitationleather]

Are you intending to cook one or two peas?

Looks fine to me. The handle is three metres long, right?

[sevendaughters]

don't know why you need specific pasta water when you can just mix some sand in

[Sebastian Cobb]

Link me up to this plz boss.

I think it was this set:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Judge-Vista-Draining-Piece-Saucepan/dp/B002UOM88G/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=judge+vista&qid=1558298471&s=gateway&sr=8-2

[touchingcloth]

I think it was this set:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Judge-Vista-Draining-Piece-Saucepan/dp/B002UOM88G/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=judge+vista&qid=1558298471&s=gateway&sr=8-2

Are you proud of them? Are they representative of your best pans?

[imitationleather]

Sounds to me like they're getting PANNED.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Are you proud of them? Are they representative of your best pans?

Nah, that'd be my lodge skillet. I do most of my meals in it.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Sebastian always gives good pan.

[chveik]

cook it in a bin like a real grown-up

[Brian Freeze]

This is the best thread about Carbonara Ive ever read. Can I just piss everyone off and mention that I wang an anchovy into the egg mix? Cheers.

Mrs Freeze is shocked at the lack of garlic mentioned, ive gone from following a recipe and removing it before cooking the bacon, to doing five or six cloves and leaving them in.

[touchingcloth]

Nah, that'd be my lodge skillet. I do most of my meals in it.

Oh. Why's that, then?

[touchingcloth]

This is the best thread about Carbonara Ive ever read. Can I just piss everyone off and mention that I wang an anchovy into the egg mix? Cheers.

You were doing a fine job pissing me off capitalising it, you asshole.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Oh. Why's that, then?

Dunno, just feels right.

[Emma Raducanu]

I once added quark instead of parmesan and it was ALRIGHT.

[Uncle TechTip]

Serves five?! How much bloody pasta is in that thing?

Come on, they're being refreshingly realistic, everyone always gets too much pasta and leaves a bit.