This is not what you think this is.

[Buelligan]

Nah, that'd be my lodge skillet. I do most of my meals in it.

I BET YOU DO, YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS. I BET YOU FUCKING DO.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I once added quark instead of parmesan and it was ALRIGHT.

Did it taste 'strange' or was it more of a 'charm' vibe ahahahaha.

[Buelligan]

Dear God. 

[touchingcloth]

Poor show. End the thread.

[kittens]

boil in big pan until sloppy. empty water over sink. pour in whole jar of dolmio and bag of pre-grated mozzerella. stir until so goopy. put half on plate, eat in front of laptop. eat rest from pan on top of cooker. vomit in downstairs toilet. buono appetito.

[touchingcloth]

boil in big pan until sloppy. empty water over sink. pour in whole jar of dolmio and bag of pre-grated mozzerella. stir until so goopy. put half on plate, eat in front of laptop. eat rest from pan on top of cooker. vomit in downstairs toilet. buono appetito.

Oh you unbelievable cunt.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Poor show. End the thread.

I am proud of this. I think it's representative of my best work.

[Buelligan]

You are finished Cobb.  Finished.  But listen to this, I love it.

Oh you unbelievable cunt.

I know grated mozzarella, I'd be interested to see that.

[Brian Freeze]

We've been trying to have a side salad when we remember. To try and cut down on portion sizes of spaghetti basically. It sounds wrong but tastes better than it sounds.
Usually end up with a bit of carbonara for the freezer.

[touchingcloth]

I know grated mozzarella, I'd be interested to see that.

They do something weird with it. Dried somehow so it can be grated, and coated in a floury dust to stop it clumping in the bag.

It has its place on a filthy fast food greasefest pizza, but Dolmio pasta is a step too far. Probably quite nice with a jar of Grossman.

[chveik]

boil in big pan until sloppy. empty water over sink. pour in whole jar of dolmio and bag of pre-grated mozzerella. stir until so goopy. put half on plate, eat in front of laptop. eat rest from pan on top of cooker. vomit in downstairs toilet. buono appetito.

sounds delicious. are you an italian chef too?

[touchingcloth]

We've been trying to have a side salad when we remember. To try and cut down on portion sizes of spaghetti basically. It sounds wrong but tastes better than it sounds.
Usually end up with a bit of carbonara for the freezer.

In my limited experience of restaurants in Italy, pasta is common as a starter, but a larger starter than is common in a British restaurant. Mains are then light on carbs and smaller than you might get in a British place. Quite a good way of structuring a meal with pasta, I think. Well done to the Romans.

[touchingcloth]

I am proud of this. I think it's representative of my best work.

Of your work, yes.

[Captain Z]

In Italy all pizza is frozen, it's actually us that has got it wrong.

[Captain Z]

No, wait, I'm thinking of Ice Cream.

[touchingcloth]

I think dried pasta is often as if not more so enjoyable than fresh. Don't give a shit what you think about that.

[imitationleather]

I think dried pasta is often as if not more so enjoyable than fresh. Don't give a shit what you think about that.

Are you proud of this?

[touchingcloth]

Are you proud of this?

It doesn't feel like an achievement as such.

[Emma Raducanu]

I once put diced tomato in guacamole and the whole of Mexico were up in arms about it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I think dried pasta is often as if not more so enjoyable than fresh. Don't give a shit what you think about that.

Congealed lasagne, between two slices of bread. After closing time. I am not proud of this.

[imitationleather]

Congealed lasagne, between two slices of bread. After closing time. I am not proud of this.

ITALIANS GETTING MAD AT NANG FOOD

[touchingcloth]

Congealed lasagne, between two slices of bread. After closing time. I am not proud of this.

You won't BELIEVE this sandwich TESCO have made with, I dunno, loads of CALORIES

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yer but I made the lasagne myself like a fucking sucker.

Is there anything more tedious than standing around making béchamel sauce?

[Sebastian Cobb]

"yes reading your posts"

[touchingcloth]

Yer but I made the lasagne myself like a fucking sucker.

Is there anything more tedious than standing around making béchamel sauce?

Yes.

[Emma Raducanu]

watching cabbage ferment.

[touchingcloth]

Yes.

E.g. You have to drive a car with no radio for 18 hours, and your destination is Auschwitz.

[pancreas]

I would just like to say that Nigella says you can stir marmite and butter into pasta and that—she thinks—is okay.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I would just like to say that Nigella says you can stir marmite and butter into pasta and that—she thinks—is okay.

She's right though, bit of any cheese within reason, parmesan, butter and a bit of pasta water and you've got something that'll stave off hunger for a bit. It's functional, and will make you less hungry, like dabbing speed.

[pancreas]

BAH. Qu'ils mangent de la brioche.