Amazon reviews.

[willpurry]

One star.

I thought I was buying a fully functional robot army, with which I had hoped to stage a coup.  Disappointed to receive a bag of very cheaply made plastic figures, some of which smelled of gravy.

[Ferris]

1 star out of 5

The poster looks fine on the website but they one they send you is upside down.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Shit

5/5

[Ferris]

Paul Ross calendar and mug gift set

"GREAT!"
*****
By NotPaulRoss

"Wow! The nation's favourite entertainer on high quality merchandise for a low, low price! I'm going to buy lots of these for my family and friends (and you should too)! Let's show those commissioning editors what they are missing."

[Ferris]

2/5

Pen was fine but my wife left me.

[Hey, Punk!]

1/5

The book was in terrible condition, this is nothing to do with the contents. I shall give a separate review for the text here and state that I believe he had no choice but to expand Germany: 5/5.

[Bazooka]

Nobody told me I had to cook the pork before eating it.

11/10

[seepage]

undrinkable, do not put in mouth

80/100 = 4 stars
Robert M. Parker Jr.

[Replies From View]

1/5

Awful

The first one I received had a puncture in the neck so it kept letting air in and wouldn't work as described.  The second one was the same but scribbled on.

Avoid

[Replies From View]

2/5

Absolute worst of the Grief^TM range.  I am used to far better quality than this.

[Bazooka]

Fine, but strawberry yogurt required for lubrication is not included.

C-

[a duncandisorderly]

five stars

I was sceptical at first, but I can report that my dog is sexually sated.

[Pingers]

0/5 stars

The item description prominently displayed promises of strength and stability, but it has been neither of these things and has been a great disappointment. Three times now you have purported to exchange the item but it appears it is exactly the same one, just with slightly different packaging. After several complaints you have now offered to send me a newer model but I can't say I'm hopeful.

Tory Fucktard, Littlehampton

[Ferris]

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

5 stars

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

1 *

This Grave-Tier shoe horn utterly disintegrated on impact when attempting to use it for its original function. It is now simply a pile of shards, meanwhile my foot has failed to enter the planned shoe. Had better out of a Christmas cracker and I am literally Santa

[Replies From View]

2/5

Tuscany smashed on arrival

Hello this is a poor product.  On arrival Tuscany had already been smashed.  Not what I was hoping for.

[Replies From View]

1/5

DVDs aren't even that popular anymore.

[Paul Calf]

2/5

Quality was fine, but what am I going to do with paper ones?

[Bazooka]

The voltage was too high for my anus to handle.

Would recommend.