Reading about episodes of Terry and June on Wikipedia

[Virgo76]

I enjoyed the recent thread of bogus Terry and June scenarios. Although the real ones seem bad enough.

[JesusAndYourBush]

The only episode I can remember starred Derek Griffiths as a Sheikh.  Terry's boss was insistent he be sensitive to his customs etc so they'd get the business deal. The boss explained the Salaam-Alaikum greeting, leading to the following exchange between Terry and the Sheikh.
Sheihh: Salaam-Alaikum
Terry: I-Like-Um Salami... Oooh no! You're not allowed to eat pork!
He ended up taking the Sheikh to a pub and getting him pissed and Terry's boss was appalled when he found out but they got the deal because the Sheikh had a jolly good night out.  Something like that anyway.

I can remember the episode where Terry was obsessed with getting hold of an old 60s record. For ten points, name that tune.

Ah!  I remember a half hour comedy involving someone trying to find a record of "The Cuckoo Waltz?".  Is it that?  I wouldn't have remembered it as being Terry And June though.  There was a show called The Cuckoo Waltz, maybe it was that?

[Dr Rock]

Nope. It was 'A whiter shade of pale' by Procul Harum.

I might have dreamt it though, it's not mentioned on the wiki synopsis page.

edit = oh right, I'll try Cuckoo Waltz.

[shiftwork2]

Lot of love gone into these somewhat detailed synopses.  It's also allowed me to locate the episode Wine, Women and Song which I remember containing one of the funniest scenes to the ten year-old me.

The Medford fuck has been asked by Sir Dennis to judge a wine competition.  Sitting at the kitchen table he tastes away and June dutifully writes.  After a lengthy technical description he says something like '...overhead, a swallow titters' and June glares at him.

It's a half-remembered moment that doesn't sound that funny written down so I'm not actually going to watch it.  Some comedy sticks in your mind as a kid I suppose.

[Glebe]

The only episode I can remember starred Derek Griffiths as a Sheikh.  Terry's boss was insistent he be sensitive to his customs etc so they'd get the business deal. The boss explained the Salaam-Alaikum greeting, leading to the following exchange between Terry and the Sheikh.
Sheihh: Salaam-Alaikum
Terry: I-Like-Um Salami... Oooh no! You're not allowed to eat pork!
He ended up taking the Sheikh to a pub and getting him pissed and Terry's boss was appalled when he found out but they got the deal because the Sheikh had a jolly good night out.  Something like that anyway.

I just watched that episode on YouTube a little while ago, and I was just watching some of the 1977 Are You Being Served? spin-off movie online the other night, had forgotten Griffiths also pops up in that as a wealthy Arab (who ends up ordering 500 balloons because he enjoys the sensation of Mr. Humphries shoving one up his arse to measure his leg, virtually... no, really)!

[holyzombiejesus]

As an aside, here's the late David Cavangh's Terry Scott anecdote.

It is a very hot, sweltering summer's day in 1989.

Waterloo Station. I'm trying to get a train to Portsmouth to see R.E.M. at The Guildhall that night. It's Friday, 5pm-ish, and one train has already been cancelled. Now another is cancelled. The heat is ferocious.

So three lots of commuters are running for the train to Portsmouth, and my mate and I get to a carriage near the front, plonk ourselves down in opposite seats and feel pretty good that we're finally going to get moving, and may even reach Portsmouth in time.

After the train has been moving for about 10 minutes, I hear a voice complain loudly: "Innit marvellous! There he is, with a sign behind him saying 'Please give up your seat if somebody needs it', and what does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

I look round. It's a crowded carriage. Terry Scott is glaring at me. He is standing up, wearing a light blue short-sleeved shirt, with a huge belly, and he's holding on to an overhead strap with one hand, while clutching a huge bunch of flowers with the other. He is sweating profusely -- I mean waterfalls of perspiration just pouring down his face.

I look behind me. Sure enough, there is a sign -- I hadn't noticed it when I sat down -- asking me to give up my seat to someone who needs it more than I do.

I look at Terry Scott. "Er, would you like my seat?" I ask.

"Well, if it wouldn't be too much trouble," he replies, "YES I WOULD."

So we swap places. I hold on to the overhead strap while he takes my seat (with a resounding "Ooooomph!!" as he sits down).

People are slightly embarrassed. Me and Terry Scott have made the cardinal error of talking out loud on a busy train. Fuck it, I think, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Can I ask you something?" I say. "Do you ever watch those Carry On compilations that they have on telly?"

(This was 1989. These compilations were relatively new at the time.)

"Me, son? Nah, nah, nah...."

I decide to push the issue:

"They're very good. I don't suppose you earn any money from them?"

Suddenly he's off. Telling me what a huge rip-off the Carry On franchise was. How he got paid a derisory one-off fee and has had to watch, appalled, as a load of no-talents make money out of his work. The crowded carriage is now hanging on his every word. I have Terry Scott in the palm of my hand. He is clutching on to his flowers and a lifetime's bitterness is coming to the surface.

My questions take a fatalistic turn:

"Such a shame, though, that Sid James and Kenneth Williams are dead now..."

"All dead, son, all dead," he says. "There's only me left now."

"Well... you and Jim Dale," I point out.

"No, he was never in them, son."

"Yes he was."

"No he wasn't, son."

"He was in Khyber. And one of the Doctors."

"No, son, he wasn't. No no no. He was never one of us. No no."

I clear my throat.

"Look... sorry... Jim Dale was DEFINITELY in some of the Carry On films."

"No, son. No no no. He was never one of us. There was Sid, me, Charlie, Ken, Babs, Joanie, Bernie, Jack and Liz. That's all. No one else, son. There was no one else."

He got off two stops down the line, after explaining that the flowers were for his mother who was very ill in hospital. He thanked me for the seat -- there were people between us, so it wasn't possible to shake his hand -- and he sweated his way off the train.

"He'll be dead within a year," said my mate as I sat down opposite him again.

He was two years out.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

^ A brilliant tale of derisory Dale denial.
+1, son.

[Glebe]

That's fantastic. I didn't know Scott was a Dale-denier!

[gilbertharding]

Blimey. Jim Dale was in at least eleven Carry Ons (Carrys On?), and played the juvenile lead in half of those.

The My Brother hitmaker played third banana in 6 of them, maximum.

I remember at the time of his death the local opticians had a life-sized cardboard Terry Scott in the window for some reason. Me and my friends found this intensely comical.

I wonder if he ever felt any ill effects from driving his car off the end of the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge.


Another Terry and June episode I remember was once when they were trying to recapture their youth for some reason (maybe the time Terry was trying to find Whiter Shade of Pale or the Hut Hut Song) and the punchline to the episode was they both wore tight white jeans with black hand prints on the arse. No idea...

[gilbertharding]

That's fantastic. I didn't know Scott was a Dale-denier!

Jim Dale, star of the Harry Potter movies (as he'll inevitably be referred to when he turns up his toes).

[Bennett Brauer]

Jim Dale wasn't in Khyber though, so maybe Scott was reacting to Cavanagh saying he was, and then the heatstroke took over.

Dale was originally going to be Jungle Boy in Carry On Up The Jungle, but dropped out because he thought it was crap and he wanted to do better things. Obviously Terry Scott stepped into the role, so maybe Scott's denial is somehow tied up with that.

[Glebe]

David Cavenagh should have said, "Doctor Nookie. Remember him, going "Ai-ai-ai-ai!" down the stairs on a trolley? Who was that then? Check mate, Scott!"

I remember at the time of his death the local opticians had a life-sized cardboard Terry Scott in the window for some reason. Me and my friends found this intensely comical.

That could have been a kind of 'ghost' Scott, a la the Three Men and a Baby urban legend.

Another Terry and June episode I remember was once when they were trying to recapture their youth for some reason (maybe the time Terry was trying to find Whiter Shade of Pale or the Hut Hut Song) and the punchline to the episode was they both wore tight white jeans with black hand prints on the arse. No idea...

He was well up on his classic rock from the start!

[Alternative Carpark]

"He'll be dead within a year," said my mate as I sat down opposite him again.

He was two years out.

No, if that was in 1989, he was about four or five years out.  Terry Scott died in 1994.

[Alberon]

I'm with Terry. I don't know where this Jim Dale nonsense started, but he was never in Carry On. Ever.

[Cold Meat Platter]

I think he was in Carry On films but far fewer than they say in the media.

[Blumf]

Are we counting the forbidden Carry On films?

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Another Terry and June episode I remember was once when they were trying to recapture their youth 

T & J do a Fred and Rose West scenario.  Never saw that one.  Edgy!

[Absorb the anus burn]

Are we counting the forbidden Carry On films?

The Kenneth Anger one is terrifying.

[non capisco]

Are we counting the forbidden Carry On films?

Stuart Munds at school told me there was an X rated Carry On film called 'Carry On Prostitutes' so he might have been in that.

[imitationleather]

That anecdote is great. What makes it all the funnier is that Jim Dale was in four more Carry On films than Terry Scott.

Stuart Munds at school told me there was an X rated Carry On film called 'Carry On Prostitutes' so he might have been in that.

My uncle works in films in America and he's let me see Carry On Playstation 5 but no one else is allowed to.

[Alberon]

He was CGI'd in towards the end of the 90s. No one knows why.

[Chriddof]

I assume Stuart Munds had seen Carry On Emannuelle and decided that his own title was the correct one.

[non capisco]

Nope. It was 'A whiter shade of pale' by Procul Harum.

I might have dreamt it though, it's not mentioned on the wiki synopsis page.

Terry was spurred into rhapsodising about the 1940s novelty hit 'The Hut Sut Song' by an younger couple he and June have over for dinner who are banging on about 'A Whiter Shade Of Pale' by Procol Harum, which even in the 70s Terry was too square to have heard of. He's all like "OOOOH JUUUUUNE let me get The Hut Sut Song out of the attic, I'll show them what real music is". However, when he gets it down it is scratched and just goes 'the hut sut....the hut sut...." and so Terry loses his temper and tells the couple to fuck off. Somehow thinking that June still gives a tin shit about any of this Terry goes to an old record dealer's shop and asks for a copy of The Hut Sut Song as a surprise present. The man behind the counter has never heard of The Hut Sut song and so physically assaults Terry by grabbing hold of his jacket lapels and going "MIS-TER MED-FORD!" or whatever his surname is in this. Undaunted, Terry starts singing 'The Hut Sut Song' at the moment another female employee of the shop enters. She joins in and they both start dancing about to it. The sexual tension is electric. The female employee promises to find a copy of The Hut Sut Song for Terry and the audience assumes "It'll be the scratched one from before that June will have brought back to the shop, he'll buy back the same copy." On leaving the shop Terry overhears the bloke who physically assaulted him over nothing humming The Hut Sut Song. "I told you it was catchy!" It's the little victories that count in the world of Terry and June.

The next day the female record shop employee calls at Terry's house and hands over a copy of The Hut Sut Song on vinyl that has just been conicidentally brought back to the shop and charges him the earth for it. Terry goes "OOOH JUUUUNE IT'S EXPENSIVE" but pays anyway. Nothing will stop him buying a record for his wife that she showed scant interest in a night ago when he was bollocking on ad nauseum about it to the interest of no-one. Oh yeah, I forgot to say it's their wedding anniversary. He surprises her with this copy of The Hut Sut song which to no cunt's surprise is the same scratched version as before that June had sold to the shop for ahahahaha considerably less money than Terry had paid for it!!! June's present to Terry is the greatest hits of whichever band sang The Hut Sut Song which she picked up for fuck all. They laugh, embrace and fall to the sofa and Terry's fat arse sits on one or both of the records, I forget.

That's where you might have got A Whiter Shade Of Pale from.

[Alternative Carpark]

The man behind the counter has never heard of The Hut Sut song and so physically assaults Terry by grabbing hold of his jacket lapels and going "MIS-TER MED-FORD!" or whatever his surname is in this.

Yeah, that's the Happy Ever After episode from '78 that I mentioned before, so his surname would have been Fletcher in that.

Odd to think that the equivalent of that today - man searching for a copy of a 30+ year old record - would be someone trying to track down something by, say, Scritti Politti or Haircut 100.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Terry was spurred into rhapsodising about the 1940s novelty hit 'The Hut Sut Song' by an younger couple he and June have over for dinner who are banging on about 'A Whiter Shade Of Pale' by Procol Harum, which even in the 70s Terry was too square to have heard of. He's all like "OOOOH JUUUUUNE let me get The Hut Sut Song out of the attic, I'll show them what real music is". However, when he gets it down it is scratched and just goes 'the hut sut....the hut sut...." and so Terry loses his temper and tells the couple to fuck off.. Somehow thinking that June still gives a tin shit about any of this Terry goes to an old record dealer's shop and asks for a copy of The Hut Sut Song as a surprise present. The man behind the counter has never heard of The Hut Sut song and so physically assaults Terry by grabbing hold of his jacket lapels and going "MIS-TER MED-FORD!" or whatever his surname is in this. Undaunted, Terry starts singing 'The Hut Sut Song' at the moment another female employee of the shop enters. She joins in and they both start dancing about to it. The sexual tension is electric. The female employee promises to find a copy of The Hut Sut Song for Terry and the audience assumes "It'll be the scratched one from before that June will have brought back to the shop, he'll buy back the same copy." On leaving the shop Terry overhears the bloke who physically assaulted him over nothing humming The Hut Sut Song. "I told you it was catchy!" It's the little victories that count in the world of Terry and June.

The next day the female record shop employee calls at Terry's house and hands over a copy of The Hut Sut Song on vinyl that has just been conicidentally brought back to the shop and charges him the earth for it. Terry goes "OOOH JUUUUNE IT'S EXPENSIVE" but pays anyway. Nothing will stop him buying a record for his wife that she showed scant interest in a night ago when he was bollocking on ad nauseum about it to the interest of no-one. Oh yeah, I forgot to say it's their wedding anniversary. He surprises her with this copy of The Hut Sut song which to no cunt's surprise is the same scratched version as before that June had sold to the shop for ahahahaha considerably less money than Terry had paid for it!!! June's present to Terry is the greatest hits of whichever band sang The Hut Sut Song which she picked up for fuck all. They laugh, embrace and fall to the sofa and Terry's fat arse sits on one or both of the records, I forget.

That's where you might have got A Whiter Shade Of Pale from.

Was laughing helplessly from those words onwards.Quality post, this.

[Glebe]

The episode 'Age Before Beauty' featured June dressing up as a punk.

[gilbertharding]

I'll tell you what: this fucking thread has been the cause of me having The Hut Hut Song* going round and round in my brain for the last three days, so thanks a LOT Terry Medford or Fletcher.



* Also a favourite tune of Rowlf the piano playing dog off of the Muppet Show (although he gets the words a bit wrong): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3OWMQuisUU&list=PLSx9GZQP6MOe4Hf8aDBpBaaOOsD4kdr8C&index=14

[Glebe]

Ah, that's a different one.  The one quoted in the OP is an episode from the second series, in 1980.  The one you're thinking of, with a police photofit of a Terry lookalike shown on television, is a 1985 episode, from the eighth series, and was itself a remake of a 1976 episode of Happy Ever After.

Didn't know that. And looking on Wiki, turns out 'Terry in Court' was also a remake of a HEA episode! Interestingly, series eight was supposed to end with an episode called 'Computer Games', there was a script written but, obviously, never filmed. Perhaps they should do the Galton & Simpson/Paul Merton thing and film it with some modern comedy actors?

That would have been confusing, as Terry's boss (Sir Dennis Hodge) looked exactly the same as Jerry's boss (a man known only as 'Sir' by the Leadbetters and 'Andrew' by the Goods). Imagine if he were spotted by Terry and June arriving for one of those dinner parties at Margot and Jerry's... or if both couples invited him to dinner on the same evening - to impress some new clients, obviously.

Reginald Marsh also appeared in George and Mildred as Humphrey Pumphrey. Terry's immediate superior and scheming friend, Malcolm, was originally played by Terence Alexander, who was perhaps most famous for his role as Charlie Hungerford in Bergerac. He was then replaced by Tim Barrett in the role, then John Quayle for the last couple of series, although Barrett rather oddly turns up again as a drunken butler in the series nine episode 'They Also Serve'.

Terry's posh nextdoor neighbour from series 3-6 (and I think he also gets mentioned in a later series), Tarquin Spry, was played by Allan Cuthbertson, who had a pretty extensive film and TV career but who is probably most remembered for his role as Colonel Hall in the Fawlty Towers episode 'Gourmet Night'. Ballard Berkeley, who of course played the Major in FT, popped us a Colonel Culpepper in the series five TaJ episode 'Swingtime'.

Meanwhile, Scott and Whitfield's Carry On compadre Bernard Bresslaw cameos as the garden centre assistant in series 5 episode 'Playing Pool'.

Btw, if you happen to have read any of my 'Catching up with the Macaques' whimsical nonsense in H.S. Art you'll probably realise that I borrowed a lot of stuff from TaJ and other vintage sitcoms!

The Terry And June episode to watch is the one with the rabbit costume and the leaping Japanese businessmen.

As yes, that was silly fun, and a chance for Scott to let rip, with the old 'visiting Japanese businessmen' cliche thrown in for good measure! And it's all the fault of Terry's Neil Morrissey-alike Brummy nephew Alan, who popped up occasionally over the years to cause mayhem with his latest scheme!

The Medford fuck

That was the episode with the Joe Pesci cameo.

Btw, just wanna give a shout out to Whitfield's marvelous Margaret Thatcher impression in the episode 'A Piece of the Action'.

Oh yes and let's not forget Scott's wonderful performance as Penfold in the original run of animated classic Danger Mouse (alongside David Jason as the titular rodent agent, of course). I was absolutely obsessed with DM as a kid, I had a giant Danger Mouse teddy and school bag and everything. Penfold's "Oh, crumbs!" was occasionally uttered by Terry in TAJ - and was surely an intentional nod?

Here's a nice little vintage behind-the-scenes look at the making of DM, featuring Scott, Jason and Edward Kelsey (who voiced Baron Greenback). Rather amusingly, the lad interviewing the cast refers to them by their characters' names.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I remember an episode where they were at a health spa, and June gets a massage that's almost erotic, by some young hunk, while Terry's massage involves his belly getting lightly battered by an ugly old chap.

[Alternative Carpark]

Didn't know that. And looking on Wiki, turns out 'Terry in Court' was also a remake of a HEA episode! Interestingly, series eight was supposed to end with an episode called 'Computer Games', there was a script written but, obviously, never filmed. Perhaps they should do the Galton & Simpson/Paul Merton thing and film it with some modern comedy actors?

That's an interesting thought.  Paul Putner and Sally Phillips, perhaps?

I'd been thinking of posting that Youtube video of the Dangermouse dubbing and interview, so thanks for saving me the effort.

I remember an episode where they were at a health spa, and June gets a massage that's almost erotic, by some young hunk, while Terry's massage involves his belly getting lightly battered by an ugly old chap.

There is a late episode of Happy Ever After - first one from the last series, I think - where they're staying at a health spa, so it might be that one.