Times you've just gone "Mate" - music edition

[Captain Z]

I immediately thought of 'I love willies' from The IT Crowd.



Dressed in red, white and blue
it's new page willy

[purlieu]

It reminds me of a guy who posted on a forum I used to frequent, who had 'I love women!!' in his signature.

The same guy who said he wasn't interested in a relationship because it would distract from making music.

[gilbertharding]

In threads of this nature someone always has to quote the lyrics of Run for Your Life by John Lennon and his Beatles, so it may as well be me this time.

Well, I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or you won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand, little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end, little girl

Well, you know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind
And I can't spend my whole life
Trying just to make you toe the line

Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead

The same song, but with the gender reversed, by Thee Headcoatees is a completely different thing.

[bigfatheart]

This made me laugh out loud. I'm sure it's better in context with music and that, but written down it looks sub-"My Lovely Horse"

It definitely has the feel of something Graham Linehan might write nowadays. And by 'write', I mean pin to the top of his Twitter feed, in between tweeting out the addresses of transgender women and replying to people with a picture of a big red button marked 'beard'.

[Gulftastic]

I immediately thought of 'I love willies' from The IT Crowd.

sung by my cousin Shaun. He's not the actor, just the voice. You can also hear him doing the 'Toady's the day the homophobes get their arses kicked!'.

[jobotic]

The same song, but with the gender reversed, by Thee Headcoatees is a completely different thing.

I posted that the other day! And probably about five times before.

[gilbertharding]

I knew someone had - but I only checked it wasn't me.

Thinking about putting Come Into My Mouth in the 'Mate' thread...

[colacentral]

The Beach Boys' Roller Skating Child:

Well she's a roller skating child
With a ribbon in her hair
She gets my heart to beating
When I see her there
You know my heart starts smiling when she sings
She's such an angel I bet she's got wings

And we'll make sweet lovin' when the sun goes down
We'll even do more when your mama's not around
Well oh my oh gosh oh gee
She really send chills inside of me

They've got a record playing in the skatin' rink
She comes skatin' past me and she gives me a wink
I go and get my skates on and I catch up with her
We do it holdin' hands it's so cold I go "brrr"

And we'll make sweet lovin' when the sun goes down
We'll even do more when her mama's not around
Well oh my oh gosh oh gee
She really send chills inside of me

Round and around and around we go
The music keeps me on my feet
It's sweet it's sweet it's sweeter than honey
When we're walkin' down the street
(That's right)

We run in to the kitchen and we grab a bite
Her folks let me stay with her 'til late at night
So many guys want a girl like mine
A love like this happens only one time

And we'll make sweet lovin' when the sun goes down
We'll even do more when her mama's not around
Well oh my oh gosh oh gee
She really send chills inside of me

Roller skating child

Written when they were in their mid-30s.

Steve Earle's song "More Than I Can Do" musically sounds like a sad break up song, but the lyrics could be the basis for a horror film:

I'm trying hard to let you go
But it's more than I can do
And every day or two
I wind up right back where I started
I'm trying not to let you know
That I'm still in love with you
I can't just sit home blue
'Cause there ain't no rest for the brokenhearted

Just because you won't unlock your door
That don't mean you don't love me anymore
No matter what you do
Because you know it's more than I can do

You told me that I got to stop
But it's more than I can do
And that ain't nothing new
'Cause we both know that I'm crazy about you

You said you're gonna call the cops
But I ain't gonna run
Because you're the only one
There ain't no way I could live without you

You left me just when I needed you
So l ain't even close to through with you

The final line is chilling.

[bigfatheart]

Punk band the Queers started off as a deliberately obnoxious hardcore band - hence the name - with song titles like 'We'd Have a Riot Doing Heroin', 'I Want Cunt', 'I Like Young Girls', etc. Then they became a largely inoffensive Ramones-esque pop-punk band with lots of ballads, which makes (sigh) 'Ursula Finally Has Tits' from one of their Ramonesy albums even worse:

When I first saw her, gee, I liked that girl
Even before her first pubic hair would curl
Then old Hubey said, "Hey, dude, check this out
Man, that 13-year-old punk rocker's chest started to sprout."

And we all love her - Ursula
We all love her - Ursula
We all love her - Ursula
Our attention's undivided
Dammit we're excited!

'Cause Ursula finally has tits - all right
Ursula finally has tits - outta sight
Ursula finally has tits - now she's cool
Ursula finally has tits - check it out, dude
Ursula finally has tits

She went to the drug store, and I saw what she bought:
Maxi-pads, tampons, and a training bra
Eyeshadow, lipstick, smoking cigarettes
I think there's something that she needs to get off her chest

Mate.

[SteveDave]

I suppose you could put "13 Is My Lucky Number" by the Child Molesters in this thread but I think it's done in jest. It's also a banger.

[kngen]

I suppose you could put "13 Is My Lucky Number" by the Child Molesters in this thread but I think it's done in jest. It's also a banger.

I remember being in a van full of woke radfem-types who objected to me playing 'Punch You in the Face' because 'it encourages violence against women'*

'I should probably skip the next track too,' I said to myself, as it was the aforementioned banger. Close shave there, fellas!


_{*I'd honestly never ascribed a gender to the person on the end of those lyrics, but they've probably got a point, I suppose.}

[LORD BAD VIBE]

The Beach Boys song mentioned upthread isn't their only 'Mate' moment. Take 1978's Hey, Little Tomboy...

Hey, little tomboy, sit here on my lap
I got things that I gotta tell you
No more skateboards, put away your baseball mitt.
Your rough livin' days are through

You could find places to go
You could see that boys love you so
They're doin' it all over the world

Hey little hey little hey little tomboy
Time to turn into a girl
Hey little hey little hey little tomboy
They're doin' it all over the world

Hey, little tomboy, I've had my eyes on you
Thinkin' what a girl you could be
Mmm, I smell perfume, let's try some cut-off jeans
Look at all the changes I see

I'm gonna teach you to kiss
You're gonna feel just like this
They're doin' it all over the world

Hey little hey little hey little tomboy
Time to turn into a girl
Hey little hey little hey little tomboy
They're doin' it all over the world

(Hey little hey little hey little tomboy)
I'm gonna make you a girl
(Hey little hey little hey little tomboy)
You'd make a beautiful girl
(Hey little hey little hey little tomboy)
They're doing it all over the world

[Better Midlands]

Gary Puckett innit

BEAST!

https://youtu.be/e01J3Hz9yoo

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

You could argue that Roller Skating Child by The Beach Boys is a harmlessly eccentric and weirdly charming song written by a mentally ill man with a severe case of arrested development. I guess. Maybe.

However, that same man also wrote Hey Little Tomboy which is utterly indefensible. There's really no excuse.

[Bennett Brauer]

Was it on here that someone drew attention to a youtube of Prefab Sprout's 'Wild Horses' whose only comment underneath was "Paedo". This thread seems to be going the same way.