Jodie Comer can't find a boyfriend

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

You know what, Lisa?  It's clear to me that you need to do more research (no, not like that) and find out what's guaranteed to win her affections.  What the magic bullet is.  There must be one simple way to unlock her heart.

By George, you're right! There has to be , as you say, a simple way to unlock her heart! I could start by not *literally* being twice her age, and then....*reads rest of post*

Oh, I see. Well, I'll let you have that one, you scamp!

EXCITING NEW THIRD PAGE!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

But there is only one kittens.

If I ever meet her I'll introduce her to this forum.

How do we know she isn't already a member? I could have sworn I heard her say something like "I was happy with the script Fleabag Poshbird wrote for "Killing Eve". She's a great bunch of lads ." in her super scouse accent the last time she was on Graham Norton.
(Mind you, I'd had a few )

[kittens]

But there is only one kittens.

If I ever meet her I'll introduce her to this forum.

no idea what you are getting at here but i assume you mean that this jodie cromer wants to marry me? in which case i am flattered but am already in a committed relationship.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

kittens has the look of the young Robert Newman

Jodie Comer in " Thirteen " , puttng in a commendable bit of acting in a drama series that was mostly a load of bollocks,with her long dark hair occasionally put me in mind , physical resemblance wise, of Robert Newman circa 1992 when he was in the televised second series of " The Mary Whitehouse Experience", baffling a BBC 2 Evening audience by wittering on about Mark Gardener from Ride.

It's Jodie fucking COMER.

What *can* it all mean?

[kittens]

if you think i look enough like mlle. cromer i'll happily record myself dancing around in my pants saying sexy things for the right amount of money. pm for details.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Look, I know people think It's funny saying " Cromer " instead of " Comer ", but It's not all that, really.

[Urinal Cake]

no idea what you are getting at here but i assume you mean that this jodie cromer wants to marry me? in which case i am flattered but am already in a committed relationship.

It was an animal based joke. Cock, pussy, kittens. It seemed better in my head. My apologies to Mrs Kittens. I will send Ms Comer to some place where she won't interrupt you.

[idunnosomename]

I'd offer her a bit of slap and tickle but now that I've got together with the male secretary bird watermarked stock photo in the shag thread, I will have to withdraw my prospective offer. sorry Cromer!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'd offer her a bit of slap and tickle but now that I've got together with the male secretary bird watermarked stock photo in the shag thread, I will have to withdraw my prospective offer. sorry Cromer!

Disgraceful.

[Johnny Yesno]

Look, I know people think It's funny saying " Cromer " instead of " Comer ", but It's not all that, really.

It's as funny as all the weird 'Oh lawks! Jodie Cromer, eh lads? But she's half my age! Lawks!' stuff you keep posting.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'll thank you not to call it "weird".
(and hope I don't sound too much of an arse when I say that; I wish to keep our online exchanges as civil as possible.)

[bgmnts]

I don't know who she is or anything about the stuff she is in but I am sure she is a nice person and a fine actress. She is a good looking woman.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I don't know who she is or anything about the stuff she is in but I am sure she is a nice person and a fine actress. She is a good looking woman.

^ Not too difficult to write something like that , is it? I've always though that bgmnts was a great bunch of lads.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I wouldn't mind, but Clive James does stuff like this, and he doesn't get called weird. Just 'cos he's a bit more eloquent and arguably slightly more intelligent and talented than me.

[Dr Rock]

The old 'Clive James' defence.

[Ambient Sheep]

Look, I know people think It's funny saying " Cromer " instead of " Comer ", but It's not all that, really.

Agreed, except that my silly joke wouldn't have worked without it.

[mothman]

Comer, eh?

https://twitter.com/Comer___/status/1107578530995597313

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Comer, eh?

https://twitter.com/Comer___/status/1107578530995597313

I don't think that's her.

[mothman]

I know. But it's funny, and does at one point mention a Jodie. So of course I thought of you.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Aw, that's really sweet of you!

Also, I don't mind any old bollocks being posted in here, as long as it keeps the thread from slipping down.

Well, as .long as It's not comments like " Jodie Comer is a talentless Scouse slapper who looks like a hybrid of the young Rita Rudner and Marmalade Atkins. " That would make me sad.

[Cerys]

How do we know she isn't already a member?

Admit it, Lisa.  You are Jodie Comer, and have been for many years.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Bah. Rumbled. I suppose my avatar was a bit of a giveaway, like.
It's also the reason I don't mind when people tell me to go and fuck myself!!





_{Oh dear.}

[Cerys]

'Sokay.  I'm sure you're doing it for all the right reasons.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I saw her down the strand with a metal detector, looking for bric-a-brac. She's a beach Comer.

[thenoise]

Read one of these articles a few months ago, "Lily Collins can't find a boyfriend," so I tightened my belt and downed a tall glass of courage and sent her a letter and long story short: we're engaged.

Phil's going to play the wedding!

Yeah it's a typical kind of attention seeking interview answer that young women give, when they know most of their success is appealing to the fantasies of hot blooded men. I remember an interview Holly Valance gave in FHM (yeah, I know) when she claimed that her lack of sex life was making her right arm stronger than her left, an idea which enhanced my next session of self abuse just as much as her racy photoshoot.

[Dr Rock]

Yeah it's a typical kind of attention seeking interview answer that young women give, when they know most of their success is appealing to the fantasies of hot blooded men.

It's also not very socially acceptable if they tell the truth and that truth is 'I haven't had a boyfriend for six months but I fucked a few groupies like Russell Brand used to do, so don't worry I'm getting my oats.'

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Well, this thread's going really well, I think.
( Still chuckling at " Beach Comer " ! )

[mothman]

looks like a hybrid of the young Rita Rudner and Marmalade Atkins

#OnceYouSeeIt

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

It's also not very socially acceptable if they tell the truth and that truth is 'I haven't had a boyfriend for six months but I fucked a few groupies like Russell Brand used to do, so don't worry I'm getting my oats.'

You see, La Comer wouldn't say anything like that anyway, 'cos she's very family oriented (I've heard her mention her brother warmly a couple of times, once in an interview with Ellen De Generes, in which EDG had claimed to be a fan of her character in top insipid ITV drama "Doctor Foster", despite believing that character to be a yank, when in fact that character's a posho Southern English type using that accent La Comer likes to use, she really does enjoy using it, you can tell, and also in her emotional Bafta award speech ), so would probably think to herself , Scousely, "Oh Bloody 'Ell, me mum'll be readin' this", so probably thought it wise not to mention all the Comergroupies she'd been banging, I don't blame her, fair play to her.

And........post.

[Dr Rock]

What do you call a Jodie Comer who is sometimes used at the end of a list placed immediately before the coordinating conjunction in a series of three or more terms?

An Oxford Comer.