Worst charting song by a Britpop era band

[Dr Rock]

The Day We Caught The Train - Ocean Colour Scene

Republica - get ready whatvr

[Chriddof]

Some technical things I've noticed about the upload for that "Mermaid" video - the uploader (who I believe is the lead singer herself) has tried to give the video a "cinematic" feel by squashing the entire picture by about 40% to simulate widescreen, yet didn't bother to crop out the giveaway VHS noise at the bottom of the screen. Also it was uploaded in a 4:3 aspect ratio at 240p, because she put it up in July 2006. That video is almost as old as Youtube itself.

Re: Bennet's "Mum's Gone To Iceland" - the main riff is a crap approximation of the car honking / metal clanging bit in "I Like Driving In My Car" by Madness. The NME once interviewed Bennet, and the writer was (from memory) subjected to a ceaseless tide of zany and very bad jokes from the lead singer. The NME hack then expressed a wish that he could have been the lead singer's bully at school, which says a lot about both parties.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

That's Space. Who I actually didn't mind in small doses.

Party Hard by Pulp is a terrible single. But not quite as bad as TV Movie from the same album.

A terrible single, yes, but it's not a terrible Scary Monsters pastiche. It's adequate. Shouldn't have been on the album, though, it's a B-side at best.

Anyway, at that point weren't Pulp just willfully sabotaging their toppermost of the poppermost career? Party Hard is such an ugly, uncommercial song, they must've known it would never be a hit.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

It's Catch - Bingo. A song so bad it killed Princess Diana.

We must never forget. It sounds like something Chris Morris, in 1997, might've come up with to satirise piss-weak Britpop before deciding that he couldn't be bothered.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Geh_zrt2Ps

[Dr Rock]

I love Party Hard and was surprised it wasn't a bigger hit.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

It's not very catchy, though, is it?

[Dr Rock]

It's not very catchy, though, is it?

Yes.

[Brundle-Fly]

The shooting fish in a barrel thread. People who keep banging on a quarter of a century later about how shit Britpop was reminds me of those people who say they don't own a TV. Yes, we get it! You were into Massive Attack, electronica, hip hop and bloody Pixies, well done you.

Having said that, this was my BP nadir that just creeps into 1998 but was probably recorded in '97.

https://vimeo.com/7029399

[DrGreggles]

A terrible single, yes, but it's not a terrible Scary Monsters pastiche. It's adequate. Shouldn't have been on the album, though, it's a B-side at best.

Anyway, at that point weren't Pulp just willfully sabotaging their toppermost of the poppermost career? Party Hard is such an ugly, uncommercial song, they must've known it would never be a hit.

There weren't many obvious singles on TIH though.
A Little Soul is fantastic though.

[purlieu]

Hanging Around is pretty terrible though, a more annoying song than Parklife sung by an even more annoying member of Blur. For a brief moment in 1996 it probably seemed like a good idea.

Yes, a fucking terrible song. Albeit one with a rather lovely b-side, the baroque pop 'Hollywood Wives', which even survives having a verse sung by Alex James.

Republica - get ready whatvr

Poor, but at least catchy. From Rush Hour With Love (fucking hell that title) is such a staggeringly unmemorable song.

The worst stuff from that era was the obvious bandwagon-jumping tossers that changed their sound to try and have a hit, like this clown who a year earlier had been churning out terrible white boy R&B and suddenly deciding he needed to affect a cockerny accent and sound like the Small Faces.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_d_fi8IDMo

Yes, this one is so fucking embarrassing. The fuck was he playing at?

Robbie's 'I'm in Oasis, me' phase was little better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtkrfFzaFsM

Then of course Mark Owen and Ant & Dec tried to get in on the act.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtAunxgEP_k

I'd happily forgotten all about this. You bastard.

It's Catch - Bingo. A song so bad it killed Princess Diana.

Fucking hell. This thread is a treasure trove of fucking shite, isn't it?

A few mentions of Cast so far, but not the abysmal 'Guiding Star'. The oo-ee-oo vocals and the interminable chorus, fucking hell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIIqKSxWH4o

Shed Seven are easy targets, but my God 'She Left Me on Friday' is dire, even by their standards. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibPJy99GI94

The shooting fish in a barrel thread. People who keep banging on a quarter of a century later about how shit Britpop was reminds me of those people who say they don't own a TV. Yes, we get it! You were into Massive Attack, electronica, hip hop and bloody Pixies, well done you.

I love a lot of Britpop, including some stuff mentioned in this thread. But there is something entertainingly bleak about the half-arsed, also-ran stuff that I can enjoy ripping the piss out of it.

[purlieu]

There weren't many obvious singles on TIH though.
A Little Soul is fantastic though.

I think 'I'm a Man' and 'Sylvia' would have been much better singles than 'Party Hard', especially if they were given radio edits.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

At least those have a bit of ambition to them with the arrangements and so on even if Tommy Cockles or whatever he's called is a rubbish singer. There were many lazier chancers around who's ideas stretched no further sounding a bit like Oasis or a bit like Blur.

The worst stuff from that era was the obvious bandwagon-jumping tossers that changed their sound to try and have a hit, like this clown who a year earlier had been churning out terrible white boy R&B and suddenly deciding he needed to affect a cockerny accent and sound like the Small Faces.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_d_fi8IDMo

This one just makes me feel a bit ill. Even at the time when I was into all these kind of bands, this just stood out as lame copycat shite(it's Straw - The Aeroplane Song to save you clicking)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwOqyjOc4OU

Arghh, another memory stirred. This one also invokes feeling of nausea as it reminds me of being off sick from school with a stomach infection, and this song being on the radio non-stop all week. I can only assume the labels must've been signing absolutely anyone they could find in 1996-7 as nothing else could explain gimps like these getting round-the-clock airplay on national radio.

It's just so limp and plodding, there's nothing appealing about it. No amount of nostalgia could make this song sound good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtAunxgEP_k

I can feel a stomach infection coming on right now, that's all so thoroughly depressing. The Sean Maguire song is sort of funny in its utter shamelessness, but after the first chorus I'm just plummeted back to the dribbling arse-end of Britpop when every third song on the radio sounded like that. It evokes a very specific feeling of ennui.

How about Thurman? They never charted and were roundly pilloried at the time, but I'm still not convinced that they weren't taking the piss with songs such as English Tea. They really did sound, possibly unintentionally, like a sarcastic response to all of those bands who suddenly declared a deep love of The Kinks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScBuPPou5pE

While I'm sure he was grateful for the 'godfather of Britpop' patronage and the subsequent lucrative reissuing of his back catalogue (what a horrible image), I sometimes wonder if Ray Davies regrets writing lovely songs like this. It wasn't his fault.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVUxUvyfzFg

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

About ten years ago I saw Martin Rossiter from Gene on one of those "I'm shit and can't buy a house by myself. Do it for me" type shows, and at no point did he mention that he was Martin Rossiter from Gene.

[Chriddof]

We must never forget. It sounds like something Chris Morris, in 1997, might've come up with to satirise piss-weak Britpop before deciding that he couldn't be bothered.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Geh_zrt2Ps

This is the moment itself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltoJ7e9w5W4

(Skip to 1:03 to see, as someone once put it, Britpop die in real-time. I must also say that the rest of the video from 7:00 onwards is fucking eerie - I recall watching it at the time.)

Having said that, this was my BP nadir that just creeps into 1998 but was probably recorded in '97.

https://vimeo.com/7029399

Always thought it was good on Angus Deayton to take part in that. Song itself is bloody awful of course, and from our perspective the lyrics just feel like moaning compared to our practically satanic political times.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

The shooting fish in a barrel thread. People who keep banging on a quarter of a century later about how shit Britpop was reminds me of those people who say they don't own a TV. Yes, we get it! You were into Massive Attack, electronica, hip hop and bloody Pixies, well done you.

Having said that, this was my BP nadir that just creeps into 1998 but was probably recorded in '97.

https://vimeo.com/7029399

Shooting fish in a barrel is sometimes fun, though. I was a devoted Britpop kid, I loved all the big bands plus certain singles by second stringers such as Sleeper, Echobelly and The Bluetones. But even at the time, I could recognise a total chancer when I saw one. Looking back at those particular acts is quite funny. Your own example is an absolute cracker.

[Norton Canes]

This is the moment itself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltoJ7e9w5W4

(Skip to 1:03 to see, as someone once put it, Britpop die in real-time. I must also say that the rest of the video from 7:00 onwards is fucking eerie - I recall watching it at the time.)

Bizarre enunciation. "...is reported by a F-r-r-ench [weirdly rolled 'r'] cabinet minister to have dayd..."

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

I think 'I'm a Man' and 'Sylvia' would have been much better singles than 'Party Hard', especially if they were given radio edits.

Absolutely. Despite its reputation as Pulp's 'difficult' album, TIH contains a few obvious singles - Party Hard isn't one of them.

[purlieu]

Mind you, neither is the title track.

[rue the polywhirl]

Anything by Gorky's Zygotic Mynci. I don't think anything they did ever scraped the charts.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Bizarre enunciation. "...is reported by a F-r-r-ench [weirdly rolled 'r'] cabinet minister to have dayd..."

He sounds surprised by the word 'paparazzi' cropping up on his autocue and pronounces it like someone awkwardly ordering an Italian meal in a fancy restaurant.

I do love the fact that stuff like this has been recorded for posterity. An urgent ITN newsflash interrupting the video for Bingo by Catch, of all things. Wonderful.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Mind you, neither is the title track.

True, but it's an incredible piece of music. One of the best things they ever did.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Anything by Gorky's Zygotic Mynci. I don't think anything they did ever scraped the charts.

They were great, though. Their lack of chart success doesn't reflect the quality of their music. This is a thread about Britpop chancers and also-rans.

[purlieu]

True, but it's an incredible piece of music. One of the best things they ever did.

I remember first hearing it on Top of the Pops with my dad. We were both blown away by it.

How about 'Shine' by Monaco? In case anybody wanted to hear a Britpop New Order https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxW3NixZPcY

[Phil_A]

Anything by Gorky's Zygotic Mynci. I don't think anything they did ever scraped the charts.

Fuck off for even suggesting that. Absolute AIDS-tier opinion.

[Sin Agog]

Fuck off for even suggesting that. Absolute AIDS-tier opinion.

I think he misunderstood the thread title, the same way I did before reading a few posts and belatedly cottoning on.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

It's very ambiguously worded tbf.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

I remember first hearing it on Top of the Pops with my dad. We were both blown away by it.

Magnificent video too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXbLyi5wgeg

How about 'Shine' by Monaco? In case anybody wanted to hear a Britpop New Order https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxW3NixZPcY

The only thing worse than New Order is a Britpop New Order. I know loads of you lot love 'em, I'm not trying to be provocative. They're just not for me.

First nomination in this thread for The Seahorses, a band considered so shit, even at the time, they inspired Mark and Lard to call their Britpop parody band The Shirehorses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVzUFNWIYM0

[phes]

Here's a couple of stinkers. Don't recall the release dates but I reckon they were hedged somewhere between NWONW and britpop

Powder - Afrodisiac https://youtu.be/Er7gZ5j37qA
60ft Dolls - No1 Pure Alcohol https://youtu.be/GjTiPkrDsYI

Oh, I didn't read the thread title properly either. I doubt these charted

Get the fuck with Dodgy though.  SATISFACTORY lads

[Phil_A]

The thing about the Seahorses apart from their general awfulness is that they only existed as an ego vehicle for Squire, it's clear he deliberately picked a band of also-rans who he knew would never outshine him and he would always be the star player.

The only thing worse than New Order is a Britpop New Order. I know loads of you lot love 'em, I'm not trying to be provocative. They're just not for me.

Electronic were kind of doing their best to be "Britpop New Order" at the same time, although I'm not sure anyone could say it was their best work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HETySgf-SYs

[Steve Lampkins]

He sounds surprised by the word 'paparazzi' cropping up on his autocue and pronounces it like someone awkwardly ordering an Italian meal in a fancy restaurant.

I do love the fact that stuff like this has been recorded for posterity. An urgent ITN newsflash interrupting the video for Bingo by Catch, of all things. Wonderful.

Also rolls his Rs for "Harrod's".

I still love many of the songs mentioned in this thread, but I acknowledge that nostalgia has a massive role in this. I was born in 81, so was really developing my early musical tastes in the early-to-mid 90s.