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Worst charting song by a Britpop era band

Started by Nice Relaxing Poo, May 25, 2019, 03:59:17 PM

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Sebastian Cobb


Captain Crunch

I'm not having anyone slag off 60ft Dolls they were amazing!

(I will admit some of their songs got sadly mangled on the album but still a superb band.)

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Phil_A on May 25, 2019, 10:09:08 PM
The thing about the Seahorses apart from their general awfulness is that they only existed as an ego vehicle for Squire, it's clear he deliberately picked a band of also-rans who he knew would never outshine him and he would always be the star player.

Exactly. A pathetic vanity project. The indie Jimmy Page and a bunch of buskers.

Quote from: Phil_A on May 25, 2019, 10:09:08 PM
Electronic were kind of doing their best to be "Britpop New Order" at the same time, although I'm not sure anyone could say it was their best work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HETySgf-SYs

Yeah, that's very sub-Ray Davies. Not '60s-era Davies either, it sounds like an '80s Kinks album track.

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 25, 2019, 08:48:36 PM
The shooting fish in a barrel thread. People who keep banging on a quarter of a century later about how shit Britpop was reminds me of those people who say they don't own a TV. Yes, we get it! You were into Massive Attack, electronica, hip hop and bloody Pixies, well done you.

Having said that, this was my BP nadir that just creeps into 1998 but was probably recorded in '97.

https://vimeo.com/7029399

No sneering tone intended, Britpop was absolutely my era, I loved many of the second tier bands and was proud to buy their albums, this thread was inspired by Radio 6 playing Mulder & Scully by Catatonia and me thinking how much I dislike Cerys Mathews' voice and in particular the song she did with Space.


Let's make this thread a paen to the truly shit music produced in an era where even the also ran bands had some good stuff.





Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Steve Lampkins on May 25, 2019, 10:22:33 PM
I still love many of the songs mentioned in this thread, but I acknowledge that nostalgia has a massive role in this. I was born in 81, so was really developing my early musical tastes in the early-to-mid 90s.

I was 19 when Britpop kicked off, the perfect age for going to gigs for the first time, meeting girls for the first time and drinking booze for the first time. Nostalgia is a powerful drug, isn't it? Still, Pulp, Suede and Blur were so obviously leagues ahead of their contemporaries, you can still listen to them today without feeling slightly depressed. Most of the songs posted in this thread are just grim.

MattD

Quote from: imitationleather on May 25, 2019, 06:55:01 PM
It's Catch - Bingo. A song so bad it killed Princess Diana.

Curious about this one, never heard it, so checked it out.

Probably the worst song ever written. Genuinely so bad it's disturbing.

(P.S. I thought Diana's death was announced in the middle of the night no?)

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 25, 2019, 08:48:36 PM
The shooting fish in a barrel thread. People who keep banging on a quarter of a century later about how shit Britpop was reminds me of those people who say they don't own a TV. Yes, we get it! You were into Massive Attack, electronica, hip hop and bloody Pixies, well done you.
Two things - it was shit; and a thread every now and again is hardly "keep banging on about" (although there might be hundreds of similar threads, I'm far from a regular visitor these days).

phes

So is there going to be an inverse of this thread, great britpop songs that didn't chart. Because I'm too lazy to use my memory and I'd like you all to populate my Spotify with britpop that Spotify probably won't have anyway ah balls

One thing I appreciate this period of music that I didn't at the time is the variety of music that was in the chart, you had your bubblegum pop, brtipop, dance music, trip hop, Rap. Back then I would of been a musical snob, but going back I can regonise the fun everybody was actaully having with music. It something thats missing with moder chart music , its all taken so seriously.
I'd kill for a Kula Shaker or Space or Dodgy right now.

Phil_A

Quote from: MattD on May 25, 2019, 11:03:16 PM
(P.S. I thought Diana's death was announced in the middle of the night no?)

It was, they used to repeat the Chart Show in the early hours of Sunday morning.

Absorb the anus burn

Elastica - Connection.
Manic Street Preachers - Masses Against The Classes.

Twed

I could fuck the leader singer from Catch and it would not be gay. It's fine that it's gay of me for wanting to, but under official classifications it would be considered a heterosexual act.

Quote

Quote from: phes on May 25, 2019, 11:07:18 PM
So is there going to be an inverse of this thread, great britpop songs that didn't chart. Because I'm too lazy to use my memory and I'd like you all to populate my Spotify with britpop that Spotify probably won't have anyway ah balls

During that period anything vaguely Britpop seemed to chart though, until late '97 or so when everybody began to get fed up with it all. In any other era most of the songs in this thread wouldn't have got near the top 40, but the doors were flung open and chancers across the land bundled their way in.

There's not that many lost classics I don't think. If there is then they probably weren't very Britpop - or they came along when everyone else was sick of it. In 1995 rotting cadavers with guitars strapped around them and Adidas gazelles stuck on their feet could probably walk away with a top 20 single and an appearance on TFI Friday.

phes

#73
Maybe. The first tune that springs to mind thinking about great songs that barely scratched the 100 is perfume's Lover and that was indeed 1997 and not especially britpoppish

I've just happened across Ed Borrie from S*M*A*S*H recent solo release. I've a soft spot for smash as they had a few half decent tunes and their raucous live performances more than made up for their shortcomings in the short term. But by God, the sound hasn't changed radically and stripped of the frenetic energy of youth, it's not good. Not good at all.

purlieu

Quote from: Phil_A on May 25, 2019, 10:09:08 PM
Electronic were kind of doing their best to be "Britpop New Order" at the same time, although I'm not sure anyone could say it was their best work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HETySgf-SYs
I absolutely love that song. The amount of jangle is almost overpowering. Lovely stuff.

I also prefer both Electronic and Monaco to New Order. That first Monaco has some great tracks on it. But 'Shine' definitely isn't one of them.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: MattD on May 25, 2019, 11:03:16 PM
(P.S. I thought Diana's death was announced in the middle of the night no?)

my band has a piece with samples of the astronauts aboard apollo 10, as they passed almost-close-enough-to-land around the moon.
amongst the bits we used, one of the crew is heard to say "the moon is essentially grey.... colourless... like plaster-of-paris..."

we changed this to "plastered in paris" for comedy effect, & that was the title of one of the pieces we played at jodrell bank, that august night in 1997, little knowing etcetera etcetera

(we told allan klein about the samples but he wasn't bothered)

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Chriddof on May 25, 2019, 09:02:55 PM
This is the moment itself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltoJ7e9w5W4

(Skip to 1:03 to see, as someone once put it, Britpop die in real-time. I must also say that the rest of the video from 7:00 onwards is fucking eerie - I recall watching it at the time.)


that is fantastic.

Pauline Walnuts

#77
**Edited out tiresome pedantic point that bored me, never mind anyone reading it**

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on May 25, 2019, 11:06:02 PM
Two things - it was shit; and a thread every now and again is hardly "keep banging on about" (although there might be hundreds of similar threads, I'm far from a regular visitor these days).

I was on the vino last night and this heightened my defensiveness about Britpop. Soz.  It's just that I enjoyed this period so much and it always gets a kicking now. I sometimes feel like it's only Steve Lamacq that has a single good word about Britpop. Yes, there was a lot of cak but there was also some proper gems as well.

This thread is about the cak I should get off my high horse. Until next time.

I enjoyed My Life Story as a live act but You Don't Sparkle (in My Eyes) used to make my shit itch. I think they released it three or four times (finally as just Sparkle). The irony is that the song was about an A&R man telling the front man he didn't sparkle enough to be a famous pop star. A self-fulfilling prophecy If ever I heard one.

I once chatted to the lead singer, Jake about the problem of getting into the charts. He told me that the NME hated them with a passion and that he was told the indie world already had: Jarvis, Damon, Hannon, even Witter, so the general public don't want anymore arch, slightly fey, post-modern pop stars. Imagine how Simon Warner must've felt?

Actually hearing this for the first time in years, my shit doesn't appear itch anymore and I'm feeling that misguided nostalgic glow again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoXH4fKKSwc


kngen

Quote from: Quote on May 25, 2019, 05:49:24 PM
Hanging Around by Me Me Me

Hanging Around is pretty terrible though, a more annoying song than Parklife sung by an even more annoying member of Blur. For a brief moment in 1996 it probably seemed like a good idea.

Yeah, this gets my vote at the absolute nadir. I remember watching the video with a friend and he said: 'These public school twats ... they just can't help sneering at everyone, can they?'

And that just blew the whole thing open for me - all those Thamesbeat-aping, Mockney-affecting rich kids writing snide songs about 'a man who has a boring job' .. that, to me, is Britpop, and fucking hell, it was shite.

kalowski

Quote from: phes on May 25, 2019, 11:07:18 PM
So is there going to be an inverse of this thread, great britpop songs that didn't chart. Because I'm too lazy to use my memory and I'd like you all to populate my Spotify with britpop that Spotify probably won't have anyway ah balls
The Exuberants: Yeah and Yeah and Yeah and Yeah.
I'd be surprised if this was on Spotify. It also might be a bit early for Britpop, possibly 1989.

Phil_A

Quote from: kngen on May 26, 2019, 01:49:42 PM
Yeah, this gets my vote at the absolute nadir. I remember watching the video with a friend and he said: 'These public school twats ... they just can't help sneering at everyone, can they?'

And that just blew the whole thing open for me - all those Thamesbeat-aping, Mockney-affecting rich kids writing snide songs about 'a man who has a boring job' .. that, to me, is Britpop, and fucking hell, it was shite.

Yeah, even as a fan I agree that's a problem with that era of Blur, those "character" songs retrospectively feel like grotesque stereotypes of working class life and a lot of it is just punching down for the sake of it. Something like Villa Rosie off of Modern Life Is Rubbish is a prime example, because who is it even supposed to be satirising? Oh look at those plebs going to the carvery for their Sunday dinner, wot a larf eh?

There's a clear difference between what Albarn was doing and his hero Ray Davies, whose character songs nearly always manage to humanise their subjects.

Brundle-Fly

#82
Quote from: Phil_A on May 26, 2019, 03:02:27 PM
Yeah, even as a fan I agree that's a problem with that era of Blur, those "character" songs retrospectively feel like grotesque stereotypes of working class life and a lot of it is just punching down for the sake of it. Something like Villa Rosie off of Modern Life Is Rubbish is a prime example, because who is it even supposed to be satirising? Oh look at those plebs going to the carvery for their Sunday dinner, wot a larf eh?

There's a clear difference between what Albarn was doing and his hero Ray Davies, whose character songs nearly always manage to humanise their subjects.

That's my favourite era of Blur. I've never bought into this 'punching down the working class' accusation they get. The working class isn't beyond criticism either. More often or not they were making comment on the mundanity of everyday suburban life living in Colchester and the more scary elements of Essex. I'd say Albarn's lyrics had more in common with XTC than The Kinks. Or maybe even Ian Dury?

I wonder what CAB's  "Legend Gary" would make of it all.

shiftwork2

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 26, 2019, 01:27:02 PM

I enjoyed My Life Story as a live act but You Don't Sparkle (in My Eyes) used to make my shit itch. I think they released it three or four times (finally as just Sparkle). The irony is that the song was about an A&R man telling the front man he didn't sparkle enough to be a famous pop star. A self-fulfilling prophecy If ever I heard one.

It was a belter and they were great.  I think I saw them supported by Shampoo, at whatever the venue was by Highbury & Islington tube.

OK well having retread those 25 years I would have to say the Britpop chancer queens would have to be Shampoo with Trouble.  11 in the charts, bloody hell.

PaulTMA

Kind of wish Stereolab had 'done a Tubthumping'

Bently Sheds

Do Northern Uproar count as BritPop? If so, all of Northern Uproar.

Neomod

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 26, 2019, 01:27:02 PM
I enjoyed My Life Story as a live act but You Don't Sparkle (in My Eyes) used to make my shit itch. I think they released it three or four times (finally as just Sparkle). The irony is that the song was about an A&R man telling the front man he didn't sparkle enough to be a famous pop star. A self-fulfilling prophecy If ever I heard one.

Pop will eat itself. The last time I heard Mr Shillingford was on this.



Yes, that's a KPM Britpop library album.

The track is called Smashing Time

https://www.emipm.com/en/browse/labels/KPM/958

but the whole album is fun for spotting which band each track is trying to ape1.

1. generally Blur n Oasis

phes

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 25, 2019, 04:19:37 PM
Daydreamer by Menswear. Hugely lauded by the NME as being the Next Big Thing, then that song came out and everyone realised they were gash. I'm not sure if it even charted or not.

Anything by Sleeper. I don't know why, but they used to irritate me.

I think it was Melody Maker who broke them. I recall reading a short piece a few years back by the lead singer who said one day they were getting pissed up and having conversations about getting a band together and in the blink of an eye they were the next big thing. They were given a lot of money very quickly and their media commitments were so heavy after writing just a few songs that it became very difficult for them to write or rehearse. Drugs were introduced and of course they got chewed up and spat out. They were 18/19 when it kicked off. He turned his back on it all, scraped a living doing office jobs and became very mentally ill for a period.

It's a shit business

Quote

Yeah, they were initially tied in with yet another mod revival by MM, one which was apparently being spearheaded by Blur. Then Melody Maker invented 'modual', a new non-existent youth cult combining mod and casual, which again was mainly based around Parklife-era Blur and Menswear.

'Being Brave' by Menswear is a bit of a guilty pleasure tbh. Not that it's good or anything, it's just yer bog standard Britpop-era 'big ballad with an expensive string section slapped over the top', but I've always quite liked it. I don't know why.

Dr Rock

Their next album was country-rockish, they'd be listening to a lot of Gram Parsons and Beach Boys and what I heard sounded better than say Embrace. But never got released.

fake edit - wikipedia says it was released in Japan and is called Hay Tiempo!. It's on Soulseek so I'm stealing it now out of curiosity.