Theresa May has time on her hands

[Alberon]

Theresa May has handed in her notice, but it'll be two months before her last day. With no work to do Theresa has to fill up the long empty days somehow.

8.30 Builds a fort out of dispatch boxes

9.05 Leaves another abusive voicemail on Boris Johnson's phone.

9.20 Promotes Larry the Downing Street cat to Ambassador to Paraguay.

9.40 Summons Michael Gove to Number 10 only to get everyone to pretend they're all out when he gets there.

[The Bumlord]

9.50 Guffs into some muesli

[Glebe]

Drives around Swinbourne in a golf cart handing out bowls of leftover meatloaf.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Starts to work on writing up her memoirs... or Maym-moirs as she takes to calling them.

Wonders if comparing her decision to not to extradite Gary McKinnon with the actions of Oskar Schindler is going too far.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Rings up the Evening Standard asking them to pass on to the editor that he is a "shit". "Did you get that? Tell your editor that Theresa May says he is a shit."

Draws a clockface on each palm and runs into Cabinet shouting "I've got time on my hands"

[Bazooka]

11:00am Mrs May is lowered into the fleshlight resin mould.

[Glebe]

Jerks Michael Grade off into a bucket for a week.

[the]

11:23am  Invents a new game called Belkinton, which consists of throwing some cables and low-end IT equipment made by Belkin at a wall

[Glebe]

3:25AM posts Jodie Comer a used pot of hand cream.

[greenman]

9.50 Guffs into some muesli

11:20 drops it off at the food bank

[Shit Good Nose]

Binge watches Catching Up With the Macaques in one single emotional session.  Makes use of the adult nappy BoJo got her as a joke leaving pressie.