Ha ha ha... Glastonbury

[Sin Agog]

Glastonbury itself is still pretty fun.  I mean, I could happily just plant myself in the Cabaret tent watching those stand-ups from off the telly all day (two Taskmaster veterans that I can see).

'ere, here's one instance of how its selling out might be an improvement. When my mum used to drag me there every year as a kid, I'd frantically run around all day making friends in the Kid's Field.  One year I became besties with this big blonde West Country lad.  He loved the Helter Skelter, so we rinsed that thing one afternoon, when the rain-warped ancient piece of crap actually caved in underneath us.  He fell into its innards first, and I swiftly followed suit.  Now, apart from a couple of bumps and bruises, I was alright, but that kid actually got impaled through the leg by a splinter of wood.  We were both rushed off to...I guess Exeter hospital, and my parents didn't know what the hell had happened to me until well past midnight.  If the money from George Ezra fans stops that kind of thing from happening, I'll grudgingly accept it might be a reasonable trade-off.

[holyzombiejesus]

They should televise it happening to George Ezra fans.

[Head Gardener]

new main stage headliner announced

[Dusty Substance]

It's not 300 quid, 230 i think. Expensive, but there's a lot more going on. I'm going, and there's at least 4 or 5 things on to see each day, which is plenty. It's always a lot more fun than most other festivals to wonder around, and the main stage is always shit, but there are 100+ stages or something. People love to moan about it, but it's still good and does a good job of having pop music for kids and left field things here and there. Kylie minogue and gojira at the same festival is pretty cool to me.

Exactly. I've only been to the festival once (2015) and had a fantastic time. You just need to catch 15-20ish bands over three days and for £230 you pretty much get your money's worth (even the food and drinks weren't ludicrously over-priced like I'd expected). I spent way more time at the comedy and arts tents than I thought I would. I'd definitely go again if I got the chance.

[Beagle 2]

Yeah I reckon I'd definitely like to be sat in the sun on a hill watching Cheryl Crow right now.

God I'm going to have to get there next year, it's been far too long. Anybody got any experience of taking small kids there?

If so you've passed the exam and you can take mine while I go and get cunted.

[imitationleather]

Anybody got any experience of taking small kids there?

It's great. You can make them swallow all your drugs before you go in and then retrieve them out of their droppings once safely past security.

[alan nagsworth]

.

[Emotional Support Peacock]

Anybody got any experience of taking small kids there?

Taken pretty much everything at Glastonbury but never tried small kids. Do you snort, smoke or inject?

[Head Gardener]

It's great. You can make them swallow all your drugs before you go in and then retrieve them out of their droppings once safely past security.

I have had that nightmare, DO NOT TAKE THEM especially the little ones, I went with a couple once who brought their new born,
they spent most of the time near their tent and were so miserable. We didn't have mobiles when I went in the 80's/90's but letting say,
under 12 year olds to wander off into the maelstrom is a form of abuse, especially if they go within a mile of the main stage.

[Head Gardener]

NME ad for the first Glasto

[Ja'moke]

Rosalía killed it.

[BlodwynPig]

NME ad for the first Glasto

Ox Roast and Marsipulami

Days are gone

[Head Gardener]

https://youtu.be/NGW10xbCoMo

[Paulie Walnuts]

I've never seen so many white people

[Paulie Walnuts]

It's Literally hanging on a fence

[holyzombiejesus]

Ah, thanks for explaining. Nice use of 'Literally' too.

[holyzombiejesus]

Christ, Idles are awful.

[sardines]

Idles fuckin killed it

[holyzombiejesus]

Did you like it when the singer cried and the man in his pants and socks pranced about?

Having said that, I don't think I've seen many things as shit as George Ezra which followed it. What a fucking dullard!

[kalowski]

I've just stuck BBC4 on to see the fucking Charlatans dressed aa a bunch of decrepit flowerpot men.
Fuck this nonsense.

[imitationleather]

George Ezra

Who the hell is dat?

[BlodwynPig]

Who the hell is dat?

You may remember Ezra Pound, cousin of Casper Pound

[Beagle 2]

This is fucking amazing, Stormzy I mean. This pisses all over all those old cunts and boring cunts who have been headlining it for years.

[Pauline Walnuts]

This is fucking amazing, Stormzy I mean. This pisses all over all those old cunts and boring cunts who have been headlining it for years.

I like it when he got Chris Martin on.

[/irony]

[Beagle 2]

Aye it's a bit depressing that Chris Martin is a "glasto legend" innit! Like fucking Cliff Richard being synonymous with Wimbledon.

Es Sheeran wank off also unfortunate, but in the main this has been superb.

[Konki]

Big up all your mates? Mate.

Otherwise: good.

Apart from that Chris Martin and Ed Sheeran shit.

Actually: mate!

[buntyman]

He's going to blush when he looks back at the VT and sees that his pants have been on display for a large fraction of his set

[Konki]

Brick shit house though. Fair play. Iron dedicated.

[Konki]

Too much bench though. Oversized chest development.

[Konki]

I'd like to see his squat figures.