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Simpsons quote thread? Simpsons quote thread.

Started by The Lurker, May 30, 2019, 04:38:25 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Lurker

I'll start:

"Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow! Oww!! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!"

purlieu

"Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."
"Ok, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?"
"I... don't know."

I think that was my first regularly quoted Simpsons joke, from back when I was a nipper.

Gulftastic



magval

Quote from: The Lurker on May 30, 2019, 04:38:25 PM
I'll start:

"Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow! Oww!! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!"

My favourite is also sugar-related:

"Sorry it's not in packages."

bigfatheart

"Chief Wiggum, that story isn't appropriate for children."
"Really? I keep my pants on in this version."

PlanktonSideburns


kalowski

Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidently" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

kalowski

You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
Quote from: magval on May 30, 2019, 06:32:38 PM
My favourite is also sugar-related:

"Sorry it's not in packages."
I also have a nice sugar related one, which follows a commonly quoted line:

"I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

Phil_A

- Hey Homer, watcha do? Get a haircut or somethin'?

- LOOK CLOSER, LENNY!

- Oh, I know what it is, you're the biggest man in the world now! And you're covered in gold!

- 14 CARAT GOLD!

Gulftastic

Quote from: kalowski on May 30, 2019, 06:43:13 PM
You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!I also have a nice sugar related one, which follows a commonly quoted line:

"I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

Pretty much every line from Kent Brockman in that bit is amazing. I feel sorry for young ones who never got to know a time when the excitement of a new Simpsons episode was paid off with some of the best comedy of all time.

colacentral

"Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The Neverending Story."

colacentral

"What's wrong sir? Did I get some in your eye? The bottle specifically said 'No More Tears'"

"Ah, a lovely promise, but one beyond the powers of a mere shampoo."

Alberon

"Arr, I don't know what I'm doin'."      (Used a lot by me and my friend at work)


"Five years later and I still think I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken, Marge!"
"I know, I know."


up_the_hampipe

"Hmm, bottlenose bruises, blowhole burns, flipper prints. This looks like the work of rowdy teens. Lou, cancel the prom!"

DrGreggles


Ferris


PowerButchi


Vitalstatistix

Principal Skinner:

"The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!"

Dex Sawash

Quote from: colacentral on May 30, 2019, 07:21:11 PM
"Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The Neverending Story."

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man whose had ALL he could eat?

kalowski

"Fiddle-dee-dee. That will require a tetanus shot."

surreal

Lisa Simpson:
I want the most intelligent hamster you've got.

Clerk:
Okay. [reaches into a box under the counter] Uh, this little guy writes mysteries under the name of J. D. McGregor.

Lisa Simpson:
How can a hamster write mysteries?

Clerk:
Well, he gets the ending first, then he writes backward.

Lisa Simpson:
Aw, c'mon.

Clerk:
Look, kid, just take him before his mother eats him, all right?

madhair60

"Did you hear that, Bart? The carny code. Bart? Did you hear that?"

"Yes!"


SteveDave

"Remember when I giggled at his Sherlock Holmes hat? He sulked for a week and then closed his detective agency"

colacentral

"We don't have anything in common. Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records: they stink."

Sebastian Cobb

"People die all the time, just like that."
"Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow."


Ferris

Wiggum sending/receiving APBs on the police radio

"Be on the lookout for a 1936 maroon Stutz Bearcat."



"Ehhh, that really was more of a burgundy."



And of course, the old classic:

"Suspect is hatless, repeat; hatless!"

colacentral

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 31, 2019, 11:44:23 AM
Wiggum sending/receiving APBs on the police radio

"Be on the lookout for a 1936 maroon Stutz Bearcat."



"Ehhh, that really was more of a burgundy."



And of course, the old classic:

"Suspect is hatless, repeat; hatless!"

"Suspect is driving a brown..." (squints) "... car."

DrGreggles

"Chief, can I hold my gun like this? (holds gun at an angle) It looks kinda cool!"
"Whatever you want, birthday boy."