Simpsons quote thread? Simpsons quote thread.

[purlieu]

From the Simpsons GIF thread

Homer: You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

[bgmnts]

"I don't wanna hear it, McBain!"

[Ferris]

From the Simpsons GIF thread

You talk better than you fool.

[colacentral]

"You call that a knife? This is a knife!"

"That's not a knife, that's a spoon."

"I see you've played knifey-spooney before."

[Ferris]

Larry Burns (Rodney Dangerfield) knocking on the door of Burns Manor.

Larry: Hi, m-my name is Larry. I'm here to see Mr. Burns.

Smithers: Well, I hate to break it to you, Larry, but if Mr. Burns ever wants to see a stranger, he will observe him through a powerful telescope.

[Ferris]

An egg-brained writer, after being told to introduce a third character

"Are you absolutely sure that's wise, sir? I mean, I don't wanna sound pretentious here, but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad."

[checkoutgirl]

An egg-brained writer, after being told to introduce a third character

"Are you absolutely sure that's wise, sir? I mean, I don't wanna sound pretentious here, but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad."

We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.

[Vitalstatistix]

Marge: It's not your fault, Homer. It's those lousy writers. They make me madder than a... um... yak in heat!

[samadriel]

We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.

"We're talking the original dog from Hell!"
"You mean Cerberus?"

[alan nagsworth]

"How about... Ghost Mutt?"

[checkoutgirl]

Are you gay?

Gay? I wish! If I were gay, there'd be no problem. No, what I have is a romantic abnormality one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all costs.

[checkoutgirl]

The problem is, the big parts these days are all going to family men.

But I already got married!

Yeah, but for a role like this, you gotta pour it on, you and wife have gotta have a baby.

A baby, eh? What do I do?

I'll send you over a pamphlet. You can't buy that kind of P.R. but you can get it for nothing by having a baby which, by the way, your insurance will cover except for the deductible which I'll reimburse you for if you get the part which you will if you have a baby.

[alan nagsworth]

"Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?"

"Uhh, the movie, or the planet?"

[Quote]

"You ain't thinking of getting rid of the dank are you Moe?

"Yeah, maybe I am"

"But Moe, the dank, the dank!"

[Gulftastic]

'What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?'

[The Lurker]

"Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again"
"That's not the way she tells it"

[Vitalstatistix]

Homer: "Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut"
Brain: "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts"
Homer: "Explain how"
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services"

[checkoutgirl]

I'm going to get the dog back.

The bad dog or the good dog?

The bad dog.

Aw good.

[checkoutgirl]

They also tend to use low-brow expressions like "Oh, yeah!" and "Come' ere a minute."

Oh, yeah, they think we're low class. Hey, Bart, come' ere a minute.

You come' ere a minute.

Oh, yeah...

[madhair60]

They also tend to use low-brow expressions like "Oh, yeah!" and "Come' ere a minute."

Oh, yeah, they think we're low class. Hey, Bart, come' ere a minute.

You come' ere a minute.

Oh, yeah...

This has to be one of the last truly brilliant gags in the series.

[checkoutgirl]

This has to be one of the last truly brilliant gags in the series.

And I think it's from what must be one of the worst episodes up to that point, the one with The Who in it.

[alan nagsworth]

Marge: Homer, are you wearing a tie to impress Laddie?

Homer: Do you think he noticed?!

Marge: [turns the other way and secretly puts lipstick on]

[checkoutgirl]

And now we go to our first caller. And I mean ever because this is not a phone in show.

[checkoutgirl]

Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?

Yes I would, Kent.

[checkoutgirl]

Uh, we object to the term ''urine soaked hellhole'' when you could have said ''peepee soaked heckhole."

[samadriel]

"Cheerfully withdrawn."

[Captain Z]

Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

[kalowski]

Yeah, Bart, I am so Crunchy the Clown!

[checkoutgirl]

Uh, good evening, um, young man. My name is Charles Norwood. Furthermore to this beer I would also like three of your finest, cheapest cigars. Here's my I.D. which confirms my adultivity.

[checkoutgirl]

Bart: Dad, isn't this stealing?
Homer: Read the town charter, boy: "If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot." Since I don't see him around, start shoveling!