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Simpsons quote thread? Simpsons quote thread.

Started by The Lurker, May 30, 2019, 04:38:25 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

madhair60

Quote from: Jim Bob on December 06, 2019, 05:10:46 AM
"What's the matter wid ya, kid?  Ya told me this stream was shallow!  Why you whe-heh-huh-huh, you oooohhhhh, kid, I'll-get-even-with-you.  I'lllllaarrgghhhhbbblluurrrgggghhhh glug glug glug"

I think about this bit a lot.

The Lurker

Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon sand."

Homer: And you remember... Matthew... 21:17.

Lovejoy: "And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?"

Homer: Yeah. Think about it.


alan nagsworth

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO AN EVENING OF EXCITING QUARTER MILE ACTION ACTION ACTION

OUR FIRST RACE IS A BENEFIT FOR DAREDEVIL LANCE MURDOCK WHO'S HOSPITALISED WITH CIRRHOSIS OF THE LIVER LIVER LIVER


Woo, all right! Liver!

alan nagsworth

Smithers: Get ready for exciting quarter-mile action at the Springfield Drag Strip! It'll be motorised mayhem mayhem mayhem! ... Do we need all those "mayhems"? We do. All right, fair enough. I suppose you know your business ... Get ready for fun fun fun! ... Uh, people are already here. We don't need to keep hustling them like this, do we? Let go of me! Where are you throwing me?!

amateur

Top of the hour, time for the morning news. But of course, there is no news yet. Everyone's still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds. Good night, everybody.


Pink Gregory

Barney dressed as Lincoln : I have some doubts about our Stonewall Jackson

Apu, in Raj regalia and turban : the South will come again!

alan nagsworth

Unitas: What do you make of the Lady Krusty moustache removal system now, Angelique?

Angelique: It's Krusteriffic, Johnny Unitas! But is my upper lip supposed to bleed like this?

Unitas: Probably!

checkoutgirl

Bart: Look alive, Simpson, I'm not paying you to goldbrick.
Homer: [wakes up] Uh... Yes sir.
Bart: Now get cracking on my long division, and don't forget to show your work, Simpson.
Homer: I'll have it on your desk tomorrow morning, sir.

Starlit

HOMER to MOE:
I used to hate the smell of your sweaty feet.
But now it's the smell of victory.

samadriel

Quote from: checkoutgirl on December 11, 2019, 04:27:18 PM
Bart: Look alive, Simpson, I'm not paying you to goldbrick.
Homer: [wakes up] Uh... Yes sir.
Bart: Now get cracking on my long division, and don't forget to show your work, Simpson.
Homer: I'll have it on your desk tomorrow morning, sir.

Lisa: Bart! Leave Simpson alone!


checkoutgirl

Teacher: Now, boys and girls, who knows what this is?
Bart: Triangle.
Teacher: Very good, Bart. You have first choice of toys for free play.
Bart: Cool! I call the Flintstones phone.
Fred: Yabba dabba do, I like talkin' to you!

Non Stop Dancer

Quote from: alan nagsworth on December 08, 2019, 05:45:05 PM
Smithers: Get ready for exciting quarter-mile action at the Springfield Drag Strip! It'll be motorised mayhem mayhem mayhem! ... Do we need all those "mayhems"? We do. All right, fair enough. I suppose you know your business ... Get ready for fun fun fun! ... Uh, people are already here. We don't need to keep hustling them like this, do we? Let go of me! Where are you throwing me?!
One of my favourites. The delivery of the last line is beyond perfect.

SteveDave

Quote from: Non Stop Dancer on December 12, 2019, 04:06:28 PM
One of my favourites. The delivery of the last line is beyond perfect.

This is along the same lines:

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Capitol City's nakedest ladies. They're not even wearing a smile. Nod suggestively.

Jerzy Bondov

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work.

amateur

Now remember, we're parked in the Itchy lot.

(say this every single time I park the car)

The Lurker

Kent Brockman: "Homer, organised labour has been called a 'big lumbering dinosaur'."
Homer: "AHH!"
Kent: "...Okay, my producers are telling me not to talk to you anymore."
Homer: "WOO-HOO!"

Phil_A

"Elloooo, Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land, open for business! 'Oo are you to resist it, uhhh? Come on, mah last paycheck bounced! Mah children need wine!"

easytarget

Quote from: amateur on December 16, 2019, 06:49:47 PM
Now remember, we're parked in the Itchy lot.
(say this every single time I park the car)

Me too. Never gets old (I take the rolled eyes of my companions to mean 'ha - good one, easytarget, there you go making that joke again').

Quote from: Phil_A on December 16, 2019, 10:16:16 PM
"Mah children need wine!"

This too.

Sebastian Cobb

What do I need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals!
Well, maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him.
*groans* Look, Homer! There's that bird you like to argue with!


Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on December 19, 2019, 09:45:19 PM
What do I need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals!
Well, maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him.
*groans* Look, Homer! There's that bird you like to argue with!


Well well well, if it isn't Professor Know-It-All

buttgammon

Reverend Lovejoy: It's obvious what's happened here, Bart Simpson has somehow managed to sneak his bedroom into my house.

willy crossit

"Oh, this is the worst party ever!"

"I don't know...remember that New Year's Eve at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock."

Pink Gregory

"Please don't tell people this is how I live!"

Sebastian Cobb

Myth: Cable piracy is wrong.
Fact: Cable companies are big, faceless corporations, which makes it okay!

idunnosomename

They're heading for the old mill!

"No we're not!"

... well, let's go to the old mill anyway! Get some cider!

The Lurker

"You mean the mob only did me a favour to get something in return? Oh, Fat Tony! I will say good day to you, sir."

"Okay. I will go....Hey, wait a minute."

Marner and Me

If you kids, can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm gonna turn this car around and there will be no Cape Canaveral for anyone

Nelson reaches out slaps the back of this blokes head

Thats it! Back to Winnipeg

I love how Nelson has just ruined that families holiday with a mindless act of violence.