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Simpsons quote thread? Simpsons quote thread.

Started by The Lurker, May 30, 2019, 04:38:25 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Jim Bob


♫They love, they share♫
♫They share and love and share♫
♫Love, love, love♫
♫Share, share, share♫
♫The Itchy and Scratchy Show♫

Itchy and Scratchy in 'Porch Pals'

"Lemonade?"

"Please."

"I made it just for you."

"You are my best friend."

"Mmm. This really hits the spot."

"Mm. Doesn't it though?"

"You make really good lemonade, Scratchy."

"Aw, thank you, Itchy."

Ferris

Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard, y'happy?

Jim Bob

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on January 01, 2020, 06:33:24 PM
Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard, y'happy?

This reminds me of the excellent scene where Homer tries to recollect the previous evening of being drunk.  Sadly, all too relatable.

idunnosomename

I love the design on the fantasy dinner party bit. Very Deco. Never see anything like that now. Animation on the spin of heads is super too.


Also Maude's tits

checkoutgirl

Skinner: Today Springfield Elementary embarks on a new era: an era of unbridled spending where petrodollars will fuel our wildest educational fantasies. These young minds will enjoy every academic advantage [chuckles] till they enter Springfield High School, which has no oil well.

Kid: [from audience] We got an air hockey table!

Skinner: Fine.

Sebastian Cobb


checkoutgirl

Selma - After all, you can't spell obsequious without iou.

Homer - I'll have to take your word on that.

checkoutgirl

I was a fool to think anyone would want nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg.
What the--

checkoutgirl

Oh, Dean. This is what your new hip is going to look like.

*snap*

You're gonna have to go easy on it.

mojo filters

Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg,
With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!


Dr. Nick

Jerzy Bondov

I'm going to make the most international coffee in the house: Montreal Morn

[...]

I'm sorry. All we have is Nescafe. I'm very, very sorry.


checkoutgirl

Dad, you look totally classy. You could be Abe Lincoln's father's boss.

checkoutgirl

Homer - I can't believe my little boy is already going on his first date. Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset...Cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...Yes, we have no bananas...*weeps*

Marge - Oh, that's sweet Homer. Our son is growing up, isn't he?

Homer - No, it's not that. Didn't you hear? They have no bananas!

checkoutgirl

Homer: Is that Lisa? Oooo, I gotta call heaven. There's an angel missing!

Bart: And whose your little school friend? Wait a minute... That's Mom!

Marge: I know two fellas who will get a special dinner tonight!

(Bart and Homer high five)

Bart: Dad, do you know anything else about women?

Homer: Nope, that's it.

Sebastian Cobb

Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Oh, sir, those aren't
DO AS I SAY!

Ferris

Hey chief I think there was a body in there!

I though that too, until he said "yard trimmings". You've got to learn to listen, Lou.

The Lurker

What's for breakfast?

Toast.

I don't understand thee, Marge.

Hmm. Ye olde toast.

Oooh!

DrGreggles


bgmnts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Juj0yeI_9Fg

Inside Homer Simpson's head may be the funniest place in existence. Belly laughs at the gary glitter and the undivided attention.

Sebastian Cobb

Yeah, hi, I'm calling for Reverend Lovejoy. Who is this?
Oh, well, this is um, the uh ... The Listen Lady.
Yeah, well listen, lady, I got so many problems I, I don't even know where to begin here.
Okay ... um, why don't you start from the top?
All righty. Uh, number one, I've lost the will to live.
Aw, that's ridiculous, Moe. You've got lots to live for.
Really? That's not what Reverend Lovejoy's been telling me. Wow, you're good, thanks

The Lurker

"Hey, Marge, after your big tantrum against legalised gambling I bet it feels pretty weird to be in a casino."

"I was for the casino!"

"Strike three, Marge! I remember that meeting and I have a photographic memory..."

Legalised gambling is a bad idea. You can build a casino over my dead body. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

*Phone rings* For you, it's the president

Y'ello?

"And then I said to the president - get this... Marge? Marge?"


checkoutgirl

Mr. Devereaux, I can't work under these conditions.
Have it your way, baby. You're fired.
Oh, Avery.
Call me Mr. Devereaux.

checkoutgirl

- Lise, check it out. Time for chilli.
- I saw it, Bart.
- You're just mad 'cause there's no clock in your hat.
- What hat?
- Ah, this baby's wasted on an idiot like you.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: checkoutgirl on March 02, 2020, 11:48:29 AM
- Lise, check it out. Time for chilli.
- I saw it, Bart.
- You're just mad 'cause there's no clock in your hat.
- What hat?
- Ah, this baby's wasted on an idiot like you.



Daddy, are you going to jail?
We'll see, son.
We'll see.

ToneLa

Quote from: Marner and Me on January 01, 2020, 01:50:25 PM
If you kids, can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm gonna turn this car around and there will be no Cape Canaveral for anyone

Nelson reaches out slaps the back of this blokes head

Thats it! Back to Winnipeg

I love how Nelson has just ruined that families holiday with a mindless act of violence.

OLD but I love it also because that journey is absolutely massive

checkoutgirl

Marge, name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning?

Balzac.

No need for potty mouth just because you can't think of one.

checkoutgirl

Homer - But how did you find me?
Marge - Well, I was sure you'd be on foot, because you always say public transportation is for losers.

checkoutgirl

TV:    So call me now!  $5 for the first minute, $2 for each additional minute!
Homer: [dials the number]
Voice: You... have reached... the Coach's...  Hot-...
Homer: Line.
Voice: Line.
Homer: Yeah, lay it on me, Coach.
Voice: In the game... of... Mi... am... i...
Homer: Mm hm.
Voice: Versus Cin...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: cin...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: nat...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: i...
Homer: Come on, come on, don't you realize this is costing me money!

Sebastian Cobb



REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU.

JUST ONE THING.

MY CAR BROKE DOWN.

I'M JOE NAMATH.

MY CAR BROKE DOWN.

IT WAS JUST VAPOR LOCK.

VAPOR LOCK... VAPOR LOCK... VAPOR LOCK.