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March 28, 2024, 08:31:35 PM

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Simpsons quote thread? Simpsons quote thread.

Started by The Lurker, May 30, 2019, 04:38:25 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

alan nagsworth

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 28, 2020, 11:40:09 PM
Yeah, hi, I'm calling for Reverend Lovejoy. Who is this?
Oh, well, this is um, the uh ... The Listen Lady.
Yeah, well listen, lady, I got so many problems I, I don't even know where to begin here.
Okay ... um, why don't you start from the top?
All righty. Uh, number one, I've lost the will to live.
Aw, that's ridiculous, Moe. You've got lots to live for.
Really? That's not what Reverend Lovejoy's been telling me. Wow, you're good, thanks

"Hey it's me again, I got another question. This one's about my cat."

<mrroowowowoowww>

"Yeah SHUT UP I'm askin' her!"

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: alan nagsworth on March 13, 2020, 11:17:28 AM
"Hey it's me again, I got another question. This one's about my cat."

<mrroowowowoowww>

"Yeah SHUT UP I'm askin' her!"

'what is the name of Moe's cat?' is the only simpsons question that has stumped me and a couple of friends in a pub quiz.

The Lurker

"You may ask me three questions"
"That's great because all I need is one"
"Are you really the head of the Kwik-e-Mart?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"Yes"
"You?"
"Yes, I hope this has been enlightening for you"
"But..."
"Thank you, come again"
"But..."
"Thank you, come again"

"Well, that was a bust... was he really the head of the Kwik-e-Mart?"

Ferris

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on March 13, 2020, 09:37:35 PM
'what is the name of Moe's cat?' is the only simpsons question that has stumped me and a couple of friends in a pub quiz.

I want to say "mittens" but I'm making that

Jim Bob

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on March 13, 2020, 09:37:35 PM
'what is the name of Moe's cat?' is the only simpsons question that has stumped me and a couple of friends in a pub quiz.

Mr. Snookums.

The Culture Bunker

I have a feeling it's already been quoted on here, but:

"Truckasaurus the Movie, starring Marlon Brandon as the voice of John Truckasaurus!"
"You crazy car, I don't know whether to eat you, or kiss you..."
"Celebrity voice impersonated."

I don't know why, but just the fact they give him the first name "John" cracks me up.

Phil_A

Lionel Hutz:
Now, Apu, Mrs. Simpson claims that she *forgot* that bottle of... delicious... bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors... so tempting.

[holds the bottle to his ear]

Lionel Hutz:
[whispering] What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial! [puts it down] Excuse me. [he runs out of the courtroom, finds a payphone and quickly dials]

Lionel Hutz:
Hello, David? I'm really tempted!

David Crosby:
Just take it one day at a time, and know that I love you.

Lionel Hutz:
I love you too, man.

alan nagsworth

Quote from: The Culture Bunker on March 14, 2020, 07:53:15 PM
I have a feeling it's already been quoted on here, but:

"Truckasaurus the Movie, starring Marlon Brandon as the voice of John Truckasaurus!"
"You crazy car, I don't know whether to eat you, or kiss you..."
"Celebrity voice impersonated."

I don't know why, but just the fact they give him the first name "John" cracks me up.

This is my all time favourite throwaway Simpsons bit. The awful Brando voice which is so bad they even wrote in a line about it being impersonated, the reused footage from the old season 1 episode, John Truckasaurus's killer one-liner. Perfect.

Sebastian Cobb

Do you wanna change your name to Homer Junior? The kids could call you HoJu.


Ferris

Stolen from reddit and not even quote but aww here it go


Ferris

"Well boy, you won, so I'm gonna live up to my side of the agreement. Here's your turtle, alive and well"


Ferris

My name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic.

Mr Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.

Is it, or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?!

Sebastian Cobb


"Err... the script says I'm supposed to bonk you with this"
"I wouldn't."
"Right on"

~~~~~~~~

Angry... Angry young man.

Rich Uncle Skeleton



Still one of the funniest things they ever did


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

"Now, are you familiar with our state's strict usury laws?"

"Yoo-zur-ee?"

"Oh, silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist. Now, sign here, and the money will be yours..." *maniacal, cackling laughter* "...Oh! I was, uh, just thinking of something funny Smithers did today."

"...I didn't do anything funny, sir."

"...Shut. Up."

rack and peanut

Homer: Oh, I hate my job. I mean, what's the point when your boss doesn't even remember your name?
Marge: I have an idea.
Homer: What? What's your idea?
Marge: When my father was first trying to catch my mother's eye, he sent her a box of candy with his photo in it. After that, she never forgot him.
Homer: That's all well and good, but it's not really your idea, is it now, Marge?

Pink Gregory

Love the detail of the little drip bag trailing behind him

Jim Bob

Quote from: Pink Gregory on May 16, 2020, 07:40:40 AM
Love the detail of the little drip bag trailing behind him

Aye, especially because it wasn't there on the way in.  Which only makes it funnier; they loaded Homer into the ambulance, attached a blood bag to him and then immediately sent him back down into the canyon.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: rack and peanut on May 16, 2020, 03:26:24 AM
Homer: Oh, I hate my job. I mean, what's the point when your boss doesn't even remember your name?
Marge: I have an idea.
Homer: What? What's your idea?
Marge: When my father was first trying to catch my mother's eye, he sent her a box of candy with his photo in it. After that, she never forgot him.
Homer: That's all well and good, but it's not really your idea, is it now, Marge?

lol


spaghetamine

#741
"Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?""

'I thought I recognised you, I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop, and you never did it.'

'Those corn muffins were lousy'.

'Paint my chicken coop'.

'Make me'.

Ferris

We drove around until 3am looking for another all you-can-eat fish restaurant

"And when you couldn't find one?"

We went fishing


drdad

'Disingenuous mountebanks with their subliminal chicanery - a pox on them!'


The Lurker

Homer: YURGIDDAFURDARATAARA.

Marge: Homer, what is it? Slow down.

Homer: [Calmly and slowly] Yurgiddafurdarataara.

Marge: Think before you say each word.

Homer: You broke a promise to your child.

Ferris

What are you cackling at fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem.

amateur

Skinner: Ah, these uniforms are godsend. Horseplay is down 40%, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all-time low.

Doris: They've even begun blinking in unison.

[students blink]

Skinner: I love that sound!

Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu!