Topic: "art" games that are fucking terrible

[madhair60]

Night in the Woods

[Hey, Punk!]

ur mom lol

[popcorn]

Basically all of them.

When Braid came out and it had violins in it everyone shat their pants because they were so moved.

[madhair60]

ur mom lol

whatever, nerd

[The Boston Crab]

Every single one is shit.

The kind of thing thick people think is profodun

[Twed]

Gone Home undermined itself at every opportunity. Clicking through cupboards to find that same stock 3D model of a soda can popping up and rotating like it's Resident Evil? Not very fucking immersive. The final journey to the attic or whatever was good and foreboding, but the game had already proved itself to be an idiot for a solid hour before that point.

Men who aren't allowed to cum got angry because it's not a game, but the problem was that it is a game in all the ways it shouldn't be. It's like Half Life but they replaced all of the aliens and things with your sister being a lesbian.

It's also very guilty (but not the worst offender) of having the kind of narration that doesn't exist in nature. They always get voiceover artists who are clearly extremely content American women and the contentedness shows in the acting. All the diction is perfect, so it sounds like a local news anchor living out their fantasies of being a riot grrrl who gets straight As and is whatever the fuck a valedictorian is.

[hedgehog90]

Gone Home undermined itself at every opportunity. Clicking through cupboards to find that same stock 3D model of a soda can popping up and rotating like it's Resident Evil?

I was interested in playing Gone Home until I saw about 5 seconds of gameplay which featured one of the worst 3D bike models I've ever seen, in amongst an otherwise well-designed environment.
I immediately crossed it off my list of 'games i should maybe play'.
Honestly it was dogshit, this bike.
I'll never forget it.
Just awful.

[popcorn]

[Thursday]

Night in the Woods

Fuck you, cunt.

[Thursday]

Fuck you, cunt.

Weird, I can't find this game anywhere now.

[Twed]

Gone Home's strategy to hide the fact that it made up almost entirely of artlessly-integrated models from Turbosquid was to just throw handwritten stuff in everywhere.

[The Boston Crab]

What was the message again?

Oh, yeah. Waheyyyyy lezzers!

So weird when thats kind of tone wouldn't appeal to the people who'd play arthosue games anyway?

[tourism]

I have a lot time for most games with wanky followings, Hideo Kojima etc but I'm also into the heavy early '10s nostalgia these Gone Home takedowns are producing.

[biggytitbo]

Samantha fox's strip poker was my first art game and it was indeed terrible.

[Twed]

Oh, yeah. Waheyyyyy lezzers!

So weird when thats kind of tone wouldn't appeal to the people who'd play arthosue games anyway?

No, the message was more of the "isn't it just WONDERFUL that we are accepting of lesbians in media? We are truly the enlightened ones". The distilled plot is amusing to read because it basically boils down to "precious rich white girls exist, and it is fascinating when they go from one place to another".

[The Boston Crab]

I didn't really think the message was Waheyyyyy lezzers! But I agree with everything that you wrote.

[madhair60]

Fuck you, cunt.

Reported

[bgmnts]

I quite liked Layers of Fear if that counts.

[Thursday]

Reported

Don't you dare fucking report me, or I will dox and harass and eventually kill you.

[Deyv]

Gone Home's alright once, as long as you think you're going in thinking it's going to be a horror game. If you just read the plot in a condensed form, then of course it's going to seem crap. That's not how you play games. Gone Home is about the realisation that you're not playing the game you thought you were.The original Doom would sound crap if you just read the plot online. "Wheyyyy white guy shoots evil aliens!" And that's a classic. Not my words, the words of everyone who's ever played it and isn't a dickhead (sorry if you don't think Doom is a classic, that does make you a dickhead though :( ).

This is the only attempt I'll make at defending Gone Home, I'd appreciate it if no one ever referred to it.

[Twed]

Gone Home's alright once, as long as you think you're going in thinking it's going to be a horror game. If you just read the plot in a condensed form, then of course it's going to seem crap. That's not how you play games. Gone Home is about the realisation that you're not playing the game you thought you were.

Just to clear this up, that isn't how I played Gone Home. I'm just saying that its plot doesn't back it up.

[Deyv]

Just to clear this up, that isn't how I played Gone Home. I'm just saying that its plot doesn't back it up.

Oh okay, fair enough. And I should probably add that I only played it once, years ago, and a friend's copy. So my opinion is a bit of stinky piss, really.

I'll let you know if everyone is wrong about Night in the Woods as soon as one of my friends buys it.

[machotrouts]

Gone Home's alright once, as long as you think you're going in thinking it's going to be a horror game.

This is exactly what I did, because the footage I saw of it on Videogame Nation had ghosts in it.

Didn't see those ghosts in the game. Can't find anything online that credibly says Gone Home has ghosts in it. Quite a lot of sources that specifically state that Gone Home does not have ghosts in it. Can't find any other use of that footage of Gone Home that clearly has ghosts in it. I have spent 4 years confused about this.

[Deyv]

This is exactly what I did, because the footage I saw of it on Videogame Nation had ghosts in it.

I don't see any ghosts in that video. Maybe you're being haunted.

EDIT: Looked again, there are definitely ghosts in that video. Aren't they the ones from The Shining?

[Thursday]

Yes it clearly is The Shining, they've clearly edited the footage. Clearly.

[Chollis]

it was then machotrouts realised he'd been dead for 5 years

[St_Eddie]

All these cunts talking about Cronenberg and Kubrick.  Fucking bullshit, mate.  Watch Iron Man punch a twat and shut up.  I don't like my art to have meaning.

[FerriswheelBueller]

I really liked Gone Home.

Don’t @ me

[Zetetic]

Games can have slightly ropey production values, including more than slightly ropey and off-putting mechanics, without them being terrible.


(Gone Home was just about alright.)

[madhair60]

All these cunts talking about Cronenberg and Kubrick.  Fucking bullshit, mate.  Watch Iron Man punch a twat and shut up.  I don't like my art to have meaning.

Cronenberg and Kubrick are basic bitch tier cinema. Wake me up when you want to get real cineaste

or - alternatively - don't bother making the boring "i'm better than you" post next time it occurs to you to do so